Cold....

I hope everyone had a GREAT Easter. Mine was. Saturday we spent with Paul's family. This was the first Easter I've celebrated with them, it was pleasant enough. It felt somewhat rushed though...I'm not certain why. But dinner was good, the kids loved their Easter egg hunt. Sunday we started the day with a very nice mass at church which I enjoyed, except for the music. Why must we sing Victorian hymns? They are so...droning. I grew up in a church with fun, bright, celebratory music. The church I attend now has THE worst music director. I seriously dislike the music 99% of the time. Which I hate feeling that way, since I really do enjoy the mass otherwise. The priest is a good speaker, and I always feel refreshed and connected, the way I think you should feel after going to church. Oh well....

Then it was off to spend the day with some friends. It was an interesting way to spend such an important Christian holiday...with two Jewish friends, an ex-Catholic, a Baptist, a pagan, and us (Catholics). But we each held the day in some sort of esteem, and no "you're wrong" sort of attitude to one another, so it made the day celebratory, nonetheless.

I miss spending the day with my parents. But I'm certain I felt my father beside me at church, and it was a great comfort. I only wish I could be with my mom too. She's so far away in Florida. I hope her day with my sister down there was a good one. I tried calling too late, and they said she was in bed. I'll try again.

I made it through Lent without breaking my promises. As a reward the hubby gave me a 2 liter of Coca-cola and my favourite chocolates (which I'd given up for Lent). It was a happy reward. He & the kidlet got "Narnia" and "Avatar" dvds, respectively. They were happy. Now I have to hope my birthday gifts for him arrive before Wednesday!

MEME...because I'm too busy for anything more

Once you have been tagged (and if you're reading this blog, I have tagged you) you have to write an entry with 6 weird facts/things/habits about yourself.

After the last fact, choose 6 people who you want to tag and list their names (except for this blog, if you're reading this, you've been tagged) Then leave a comment that says "You are tagged" on their page telling them to read your blog. (If you haven't gotten it yet, "YOU ARE HEREBY TAGGED!")And I'm adding a rule, after YOU get tagged, you have to go back to the blog of the person who tagged you and let them know you have fullfilled your tagging obligation and put up your list of six things. That means you have to come back HERE and let me know you put up a post with your six items. The more people you tag, the more comments you should get with other people's lists. Got it?

And here are my 6:
1. I'm trying hard to be more "domestically creative". (I'm learning crochet, and sewing again)
2. I love the taste of garlic and use it in everything (almost).
3. I'm a magazine addict. As much as I read books, I also have this wierd thing for magazines.
4. I actually get depressed if I can't perform for long. (I guess that explains the amount of years of doing Renfest & why I'm now venturing into other eras of reenactment.)
5. I prefer candlelight to bright "modern" lights.
6. I am double jointed.


Here is where I tag 6 people, but I don't know that I know 6 people to tag. I can tag Niff & Kassi, but whom else?... So if you are randomly reading my blog...YOU ARE TAGGED.

Wind in My Hairs

Sunday I was gifted with an early birthday surprise from my husband...my own, brand new bike! I'm giddy with excitement. It's more pink & silver than the one in the photo (given the fact I'm so short, find a bike of the appropriate height tends to mean finding one a little girlier than I'd prefer, but oh well, I'll embrace my girliness!)

You have to understand, it has probably been about 17 years since I last rode a bike. I've wanted one for at least that long, but for a multitude of reasons (some just, some not) I either wasn't or couldn't get one. So now, at long last, I can hop on and pedal to my hearts content. Ok, so I was a little fearful for a moment, worried I'd end up scraping my arm or leg in an inadvertant fall. But I started to move, confidently gained my balance, and within moments felt that breeze that only comes from the movement of two wheels beneath you.

I guess riding a bike really is alot like life. You have to find your own balance, not give into fear, and just ride. You, after all, are the one in control. You steer the course, and can brake when you want to. And there is nothing quite as fun as feeling that wind on your face, the one with the girly smile.

Phaedra and Theseus by Girodet
We went to see a great exhibit at the Art Institute of Chicago by Girodet on Saturday. Very enjoyable Pre-Raphaelite works, many of which were created for Napolean. It made me realize just how much of life is the spin you put on it. I've recently been wrapped up in the Regency world, reading alot of Jane Austen and the like. From the British perspective, Napolean (obviously) was the bad guy. At this exhibit, you saw a French perspective of the Napolean Hero. It made me think about just how much of everyday is like that.

Let Them Eat Cake!

See what I made last night in my cake decorating class!!!
Ok, so I didn't really make this cake. It's from a great bakery called Simma's, in Milwaukee. But I did start a cake decorating class last night...with the hubby AND the child! I'm really excited to learn how to make beautiful cakes, with all the groovy details, rather than just plain cakes, that taste yummy, but aren't particularly spectacular in any way. Of course, it also means I now want ALL of the groovy tools and gadgets that go with it...even though I don't even know how to use them yet. Oh well...if I have the tools, it will inspire me, right?? Well, it s a good theory anyway.

I'm being overtaken with the need to be creative. Perhaps its the (finally) warm & sunny days outside? I've planted, I purchased a book & yarn to teach myself crocheting (so far I can do two stitches successfully...I have along way to go). And new pencils & paper and have doing some really good drawing lately. (hmmm...maybe I'll scan one to put up here?)

The GREAT news is I've officially been hired as an event planner! The Great Lakes Re-enactment Guilde has hired me to do a civil war inspired bridal shower...at their event in May! I'm really excited about it. I'm also working with two brides on their weddings. A Turn of Events is officially off the ground and running!!

Chai Green Tea

Today I'm tired. There really isn't alot to say. I'm cold and have drank so many mugs full of Chai Green Tea, I'm going to be in the bathroom all night. (Tea being the diauretic that it is.)
At least I'm drinking it out of a cool new mug...hubby & I went pottery painting last week, and I made a groovy mug in teal & lime green, with polka dots and stripes. I'm very proud of it. The coolest part is the fish I put inside the mug, so when my tea is done I see the fish in the bottom. It's a crazy little smile. I also put one on the bottom so anyone who looks at me while I'm drinking my tea sees a fish too. Yeah...I need to get out more.

I'd post a pic, but my digital camera decided it wanted to die for no apparent reason, and I haven't figured out the new video camera yet to know how to take a snapshot and download it. I guess that's my task for tomorrow.

Fashionista Lil' Kate!

Me & my wedding gown designed by Kate Bennett
I want everyone to know my dear, dear friend, Kate Abraham (nee'Bennett) (aka "Lil'Kate") auditioned for the upcoming season of Project Runway yesterday. I want everyone to know how amazingly talented she is, whether she makes it onto the show or not! Tim Gunn and Nick Verreo gave her a definative "maybe". Ok, so what does that mean guys?! With a personality like hers, and talent to boot, she sooooo should be on that show! Check out her website...send her some positive vibes! Go Kate!

Please visit...

Today I'm proud to announce I have started a new daily blog to get me working harder on my book. You will be able to visit it daily to learn about the holiday of the day, as well as ways to celebrate, and recipes too! I hope you'll enjoy it!

I've also finally put up my website! It will have some similar pages, as well as information on my Event Planning business!
Please check them! (and leave feedback!) Thanks!!

National Bavarian Crepe Day!

Neunschweinstein Castle

In celebration of National Bavarian Crepe Day:
Bavarian Crepes!
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
3/4 cup flour
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
2 tablespoons butter, melted
Cherry Filling (see below)
1 cup sour cream 1 oz. semisweet chocolate, grated
Cherry Filling: 2 cans sweet dark pitted cherries (16 oz. ea.)
1 cup powdered sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 cup almond flavored liqueur
1 cup sour cream
1 oz. semisweet chocolate, grated
In a medium bowl, beat eggs slightly. Add buttermilk. Beat with a whisk or with electric mixer on low speed until just blended. Add flour, sugar and cocoa, beating with whisk or with electric mixer on medium speed until smooth. Beat in melted butter. Let batter stand about 1/2 hour at room temperature. If kept longer before cooking, refrigerate. Stir batter with a spoon. Cook crepes on upside down crepe griddle or in traditional crepe or omelet pan. As each crepe is cooked, stack in a covered dish or pan to keep warm and moist. Prepare Cherry Filling. Spoon onto warm cooked crepes. Fold sides over filling, envelope style. Spoon sour cream on top. Sprinkle with grated chocolate. Serve at once. Makes 14-16 servings. Cherry Filling: Drain cherries, reserving 1/3 cup juice. In a medium pan, combine powdered sugar and cornstarch. Stir in liqueur and reserved cherry juice. Add drained cherries. Stir constantly over moderate heat until slightly thickened.

Bond, James Bond

This weekend I'm attending a ballet on Friday, and then Saturday is a friend's birthday bash. It's a James Bond theme, with a full bar and casino games. All guests have to come as Bond characters. I'm very excited about it! Hubby is going as Boris Grishenko and I'm going as Natalya Fyodorovna Semyonova...both from Goldeneye, my favourite Bond movie. Our hosts find it funny my husband is playing a bad guy, while I'm one of the "good girls"...very much a role reversal. I'm very excited about it...especcially since it is one of the first "theme" parties I've been to I haven't hosted! (All of the pleasure, none of the work!)

Now my dilema is trying to figure out an appropriate gift.

Spring has Sprung!

Enjoy the first day of Spring!

Erin Go Bragh

Luck o'the Irish to ya!
Today is the traditional "Wearin' o' the Green", the day Americans everywhere claim a little bit of Irish heritage...it gives them an excuse to drink green beer, after all! What is it that makes Americans celebrate this day with such gusto? Maybe its the laid-back nature of the Irish (that can quickly change into fiery rage or passion) that we envy? Is it the lushness of their country, the richness of their ales, the blandness of their food, or the liveliness of their music? Whatever the reason, it's a good day to raise your glasses of Guiness high and share a toast with friends!

"May you be in Heaven a 1/2 hour before the devil knows you're spent!"
"May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends below it never fall out!"
"The future is not ours to know, and may it never be -- so let us live and give our best, and live it lavishly!"
"May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future!"

Support All Around

Today's lesson in futilism is my attempt to figure out what theatre company my family is going to support for the next year. This may not sound as strenuous as it really is, however, I realize that whatever decision I make locks us into tickets for an entire year at whichever theatre, ballet, opera company I choose. That's alot of commitment!

In the past we have purchased season tickets to the Milwaukee Ballet, then individual tickets to various shows we chose to attend elsewhere. However this coming season of dance doesn't intice us enough to commit to it, giving us a chance to be patrons of some other theatre. This is terribly exciting...and yet daunting. So far none of the theatre companies (and there are many) have this overall amazing season that screams "oooh, me, me, choose me"!

On an entirely different vein (because its that kind of day)...please check out a couple of other people's websites. Please!
First, a big hello and thank you to my new friend and "bloglord" Kel! Her blog is cute and definately worth your time!
Second, an old friend is doing something very good and needs you to support her. If you care about kids, please make the donation, thanks.

Who Done It?

You are cordially invited to a 1936 soiree at an English manor, when your host is murdered!

Today I'm planning a birthday party for my husband and I. (Our birthdays are 2 days apart.) We have decided to keep a relatively small event this year and are hosting a murder mystery dinner party. It's great fun, if you've never been to one. Good food, fabulous clothing, death..all the makings of an evening with friends! I'm really looking forward to it, though it will still be a month or more away.

All of my friend are performers, so we tend to create alot of these sorts of gatherings. I realize that isn't how the average person spends their time, but we do. We are creative people with creative needs. I supposes that is why I want to do this for a living...creating events for people. It's what I do best. And what I find the most fun with.

My daughter tells her school friends about the parties at our house, and I think most of them don't believe her...but why be boring? Enjoy life! Have a party! Let me organize it for you! After all...wouldn't you rather be the one "who done it"?

Skating the Olympic Circle

This weekend my daughter, hubby & I went ice skating at the Pettit Center in Milwaukee with his parents, brother & sister-in-law. A regular family outing! For anyone who knows what my relationship with his family (mother in particular) has been like, this was quite the accomplishment. His parents have never been particularly fond of me, to say the least, but maybe things are changing a little bit? I can only hope. It's been hard maintaining that balance between "I don't care what others think of me" and genuinely wanting to be accepted. I can only hope they see we do love each other and have a good relationship, and with that will come some "kinship" from them too.

I love figure skating. It's been a part of my life since I was tiny. I think I was first put on the ice sometime around 9 months old. Mom was a professional figure skater, so it was only natural. We lived on a lake, so most days in the winter months I was out on the ice, the rest of the year was at a rink. An accident when I was about 11 ended any dreams I may have had of Olympic Gold, but the love of zooming around a rink has never changed. The briskness of the arena, the wind has I move about the ice, even the smell evokes memories of my childhood, and a world that, in my heart, is so uniquely my own. Age now makes me notice when I try to do something that once came so naturally and easily to me, has an element of fear. But the thrill is all the same. The ice is my domain. I feel powerful upon those thin blades. I am strong and the energy comes from somewhere in me that I don't feel anytime else.

Maybe I'm mid-30s now, out of shape, and aware of my own potential injury, but when I'm circling the ice...I can feel that Gold medal around my neck.

Friday's Feast

A new way to spend a Friday.

Appetizer: On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how intuitive do you think you are? 9
Soup: What is your favorite kind of gum? Actually I don't like gum at all
Salad: Name a CD you own that you would never get rid of. Duran Duran Greatest
Main Course: When was the last time you said something you didn't mean? Last night. I told my daughter I'd ship her off to boarding school if she didn't stop misbehaving.
Dessert: What is the sum of the numbers in your birthdate? (Example: 3 + 2 + 1 + 9 + 7 + 9 = 31) 45

Squishy Face

Pugs crack me up!
I can't help it, they absolutely turn me into this babbling idiot with their cuteness. Their crazy squished in faces and big eyes totally make me smile. I am convinced they have no real purpose other than to make me smile. It doesn't matter how bad of a mood I'm in, one cute little pug goes by and I'm laughing.

There once was a pug at the Michigan RenFest, the PubPug, and the minute I'd come past I'd call out to him and he'd run to me, up my full skirts, and rest on my chest with a smile. Sheer joy.
I want a pug...maybe one day. Until then I have to be content with the random happy pug moment.

I'm curious what makes other people smile despite themselves???

The Game of Life

Another month...no pregnancy.
I wish I was one of those women who could just "go with the flow" but the truth is, I don't have it in me to not think about things. I've often been accused of "thinking too much". I consider. I ponder. I fret. I assess. I research. I don't let things drop until they are resolved. Sometimes I push and push to the point of frustration, but I like to have a clear picture. Nothing left to doubt or chance.

So here I am playing the greatest game of chance...trying to get pregnant. Hell, I don't even like Monopoly because it's too much of a chance game! I get angry and frustrated when I play. Give me a game like Scattergories, Trivial Pursuit or heck, even Pictionary. Those of games of mental skill...I can do that.

But the game of conception is all about rolling the dice and taking the chance. And just like Monopoly that takes so long to play, you have to wait. Only to find out your house at Park Place has been repossessed, your Water Works have dried up, and you don't get to go past GO or collect $200. Another month wasted. Start over. Try again. Draw the Chance card and put your emotions on hold.

What's in a Name??

Me as Mary, Queen of Scots w/Kevin as Lord Darnley at the Michigan Renaissance Festival 2000

Ok, so I found this funny little quiz that tells you how your name would be defined. Here are my results:

Kimba --[noun]:A lewd street performer
'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Let's just say I laughed my ass off. As you can see by the photo...I've been a lewd street performer for many years. For years I performed & worked with the Michigan Renaissance Festival. I am also with the Bristol Renaissance Faire. Over a 14 years I've acted in the streets of these Elizabethan faires, and looking back I can say they have been great years.

You don't realize just how many people's lives you've touched until someone comes back to you with a photograph they took of you with their family. That we are in literally thousands of people's family photo albums is overwhelming. They remember the silliest things, like the snide remark you made to their husband, or the way you made their child laugh. It's a warm feeling inside. Despite the dirt, the heavy clothing, the long days, the mud...it really has been good times.

I have good friends, also, because of the faires. People who are amazingly intelligent, well educated, thoughtful souls. I'm looking forward to the summer now.

Throw me some beads, mister!

Happy Mardi Gras!
The quintessential day before lent when people world wide let it all hang out (some more literally than others). The day we indulge in Paczkis (those tasty little fruit or custard filled donut-type treats), eat red meat, do crazy things for those little strings of beads, and generally celebrate before the dark veil of Lent begins. It's called Shrove Tuesday (because we are supposed to confess our sins), Fat Tuesday (because, let's face it, we overeat today and then give up those sweets for the next 40 days until Easter) and Carnivale (because we celebrate like crazy).

For Catholics worldwide, it's the day we must look at Lent, the 40 days leading up to Easter, and choose to sacrifice something. We are given so many good things in life, what's a little self-sacrifice now and again?

What am I giving up? The same things my father always gave up...underwater basket weaving and skydiving. (ha! I'll let you guess....)

Authenticity

I've tried to rent space on a blog I've enjoyed reading by Jac. We'll see if I get accepted or not. But I figure, I've written my thoughts here to share with the world, family, friends. I should be slightly more proactive about actually sharing them. Sometimes they are sheer babble, but isn't that the point? To have that expressive moment, that place in the internet world all your own? It's a crazy endeavour, but I thrive on commentary from others. I draw energy from it. And as a stay-at-home mom, I could really use it right now.

Some friends of mine use a phrase I like "being authentic". It means to be true to yourself & the world. Without pretense or agenda. I've tried hard to become that sort of person, and in doing so I think I've lost a few special people along the way. In attempting to reconnect not only to them, but to myself, I've been looking forward and trying not to draw off the past, but start anew. So when I read Jac's blog about being in the 101 in 1001 project I felt inspired. My own 101 in 1001 will be posted soon at http://kimba1001.blogspot.com I hope to accomplish alot.

Walls o' Stench...an odourous journey

Today I have the tedious task of driving my daughter to the Michigan border so she can meet her father at this half-way point, all for the joy of spending the weekend with him. Such is the life of divorced parents who live in different states. About once a month, and during vacation times, we meet half way, do the drop off/pick up task, then drive our respective route home. Only to turn around on Sunday to do the same again. It is alot of driving (typically about 6 hours, more or less) each time, but I don't mind. It's good for her to spend time with her dad. The only part of the drive I really dread...Indiana.

Now, I don't mean to offend anyone who lives in the state, I'm certain there has to be some good places to see...but must it stink? The I-94 corridor around Lake Michigan has three distinctive Walls o' Stench, as I prefer to refer to them. The first is somewhat like strapping a used diaper over your face. The second, slightly "sweeter" more like raw meat left out on the sidewalk in the heat. And last, a lingering odor I can liken only somewhat like the B.O. of the entire populous of Gary, IN.

What is it? Other cities don't have that problem. I drive through the entirety of Chicago with all the industry that is there, and there is no smell (well, save the exhaust from the endless back-up of cars). Do other cities export their stench to Indiana? Perhaps this is some sort of scheme I'm not aware of?

Faith

Today I have all sorts of fear & worry about getting prenant. Ok, more specifically about not getting pregnant. I'm trying to put my faith in God, that he will bless us when it's supposed to happen. However, my fears are great today. Has anyone had these same worries?? Anyone?

Scheherezade

Friday the hubby, daughter, and I spent a lovely evening at the Milwaukee Ballet. We have season tickets, and though there are only 4 ballets each year, it is a wonderful cultural break to the otherwise mundane world. This month's show was "Scheherzade" from Arabian Nights fame. The featured stories were not only her own, of how she told stories to the sultan for 1001 nights to prevent her own death, but "Sinbad", "Aladdin" and the prince & the lady in the moon. As always, with the Milwaukee Ballet, it was beautifully costumed, gorgeously danced, and several hours of delight to the senses. They really are a gem in the city. I'm proud to have the opportunity to support them.

My family and I are firm believers of the arts, and involve ourselves directly as often as possible...acting, directing, designing, etc. It's just a part of who we are. I find it sad and frustrating whenever I hear of arts programs being cut from schools and communities. I truly believe if more people not only learned to love & support their cultural communities, but bred that love in their children, there would be less violence. When you love and respect something, and learn to see the beauty in the world around you, it is only then you want to protect & cherish it.

Words of Wisdom

This was shared with me by a teacher today. I'd like to share it with you.

*When asking a question, wait at least 5 seconds before looking for answers.
*Read to your children every day
*Listen to your children every day
*Do things even if they don't appreciate them
*Try something new at least once a month
*Encourage every child to be an expert at something

Rain Rain Go Away

For anyone watching the news, you will hear weather reports that Wisconsin is being hit by a snow storm. This is true...for everywhere except where I live. Racine is in the southeastern tip of the state...and we have nothing but rain. And thunder. And lightening. It's February, for cryin' out loud!! Only 1/2 hour north of us lies big fluffy snow...several inches worth. Here...nada. For a family who likes winter...this has been the worst.

Yes, I'm perfectly aware of the fact my life is so incredibly dull I'm talking about the weather. That's what happens when you have nothing to occupy your time. Suggestions?

Lonely Wakes

I know yesterday was Valentine's Day, and I should be riding this high from love & passion. Truth is, today I feel alone. Our night was nice. Not bodice ripping passion, but nice. (Nice isn't a word I like very much, but I don't feel inclined to search for a better one, when it seems appropriate.) I guess I'm feeling like my life is unneeded. My daughter has become highly independent and will only continue to do so. My husband certainly has his own time & space, especcially with work. Me? I'm at home...all day, every day. I do work around the house, I'm working on a book (or at least the preliminaries of it), I blog mostly to write not because I think anyone actually reads this...though I'd like to think someone does. (lack of commentary makes me believe otherwise.) I used to be the kind of person who was always doing something, people were always stopping by. I'm alot more serious now, and in that seriousness, I wonder if I have really become so dull?

Who Could Doubt Mr. Darcy?

Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle in the BBC's "Pride & Prejudice"

Jane Austen's novel "Pride and Prejudice" was named the most romantic book of all time by an association of novelists in Britian this week. I think few people can really doubt this honour. I first read the book back when I was in middle school. I liked it, but it didn't speak to me. I read it again in college. It was something of fantasy. Today, in my 30s, I relate entirely to it, on every level.

I have had the odd fortune to have a relationship that is, sometimes disturbingly similar to that of Mr. Darcy & Miss Elizabeth Bennett's. My husband and I didn't start off on the best of terms. He was proud & reticent. I was (am) outspoken and bold and didn't need another relationship. Like the fictional characters, those are the qualities that eventually drew us to one another. He embodies so many of the characteristics of a Regency gentleman, his "old-fashioned" beliefs make others laugh, while I am desperatly glad for them. I, on the other hand, have grown into a Regency lady. I used to be different...I think some people would be a little surprised at how I've changed. Today I delight in being a lady, feminine, and knowledgeable.

I think Jane Austen would be pleased to have her novel gain the honours it has, but I think she'd be even more pleased to know the traditions of her time aren't entirely lost.

Winter at Last!

It's snowing!! I know, I live in Wisconsin and it's February, this shouldn't come as a bit surprise. But the reality of this winter has been dry and in the 40s! My husband, a skiier, has been highly disappointed, to say the least. So the fact there is a definate whiteness to the ground, and its continuing to fall, with more expected over the next 4 days, makes me thrilled! I can't wait to curl up on the couch w/my family on Friday to watch the Opening Ceremony of the Winter Olympics and actually have it be winter outside!

Mission Scratched

That'd be a No, Jim...the little guys didn't make it to their destination point. No baby this month. I'm rather sad about it, actually. Mentally I'm so ready, and just wanted this. I know that actually succeeding on the first try is rare. I know I shouldn't "try" and just let things happen. But still, I'm disappointed. *sigh* oh well.

Beauty Begins with Your Brain

In keeping with yesterday's day of praise, Dove corporation needs to be applauded with a standing ovation for their newest commercial that premiered during the SuperBowl. (Ok, no I don't watch football.) The ad shows various pre-teen & teen girls and taglines stating their insecurities about their body image.

Believe me, as the mother of a 12-year-old, its a sad reality of life. Hell, as a woman its a sad reality!! Our society places so much attention on some messed up idea of beauty! What happened to the ideal being natural, curvy women who looked like women? The fact that young girls suffer so much, and that it will effect them the rest of their lives, is pathetic. We need to not only have all girls & women learn to love themselves, and have that strength, but we need to change the mentality of boys & men. They are the ones who perpetrate this sick (literally) image.

I ask you to take a moment to encourage a young girl...even if its someone you don't even know. Stop a girl at the store and tell her she's beautiful...particularly if she is that geeky girl, or that chubby girl, or that shy girl. They are the ones who need to know they are unique and just as wonderful as everyone else...because they really are.

An expression of esteem, respect, or admiration

Today is officially Pay a Compliment Day!
I think we sometimes get so busy with the normal day to day we don't pay other the compliments they deserve. It's so easy to overlook even the smallest thing that made you smile, and we should thank them for that. It seems society is so full of negative things, on the news, on the radio, hell even most blogs are complaining about something (and I'm entirely to blame, as well!). Take a moment, and compliment someone. It will make them smile...and I bet you will too. It's my goal to compliment at least 5 people today. Are you up for the challenge??

The Fab Five

Today's random FRIDAY FIVE is all about music. Of course, I can't think of THE FAB FIVE - Duran Duran...long before the Queer Eye guys took over the moniker.

What is the first album you bought?
I think the first was Shaun Cassidy. I think it may have been called something like "Underwraps" or something equally cheesy. Hey, I was probably 8 at the time! My taste in music greatly improved.

What is the last album you bought?
The last "album" I bought was probably something by Duran Duran. The last CD I purchased was Jesse McCartney & Hillary Duff...a birthday gift for the 12-year-old.

What is your favorite “pick me up” song?
Hmmm...it really depends on the day. Today I'd probably say anything by Adam Ant.

What was the last song you sung out loud?
Right now, I'm singing along with "True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper.

Name one song that no matter where you are, when you hear it, you have to dance.
"Bizarre Love Triangle" by New Order

What, no Popemobile?

Saturday I'm joining my husband and in-laws to visit the "St. Peter and the Vatican" exhibit at the Milwaukee Public Museum. I'm very excited about this, as I know the collection will be beautiful. Art & artifacts tell the tale of the 264 Popes who have headed the Roman Catholic Church.
Some of the exhibit includes:
A reproduction of the Tomb of Saint Peter
The Mandylion of Edessa, a third- to fifth-century image on linen considered the oldest known representation of Jesus
The Papa Tiara of Pope Pius IX, the symbol of the papacy, made of silver, gold, pearls and diamonds, emeralds and other precious stones
A 16th-century chalice encrusted with pearls, rock crystal, silver gilt and enamel
The first known map of Australia
A Buddhist Thanka of embroidered cloth and pearls, presented by the Dalai Lama as a gift to John Paul II.

I know in this current day and age alot of people have opinions about the Catholic church, most of which I find highly unjustified. I'm proud of my faith and the history and legacy it intales. I wasn't "damaged" by my Catholic upbringing, and had alot of priests in my life who encouraged my love of learning, and my need to question things.

I have educated myself about many world religions, and found one truth intrinsically true...we all have faith in a Higher Power, and the "Golden Rule" applies to everyone. We chose different ways of celebrating that faith. I respect others in their beliefs. With knowledge comes wisdom, after all.

I get sick of the attacks the Catholic church endures, usually from the uneducated, simply because it is one of the largest and oldest instituations in the world. When I hear these attacks, I am reminded that the Reformation didn't destroy the Church, and more importantly no man can destroy my faith and love in God or the community in which I choose to practice.

Once More Into the Fray

Ok, so we're trying to get pregnant.

It's maddening really...the wait. Wondering if those little guys can really swim blindly to the proposed destination. Wondering how society has continued all these years when its really such a hit or miss sort of game. Statistics say there are only two days each month a woman is ovulating. Of those two days your chances are about 12% on the first month of trial. Of course there is each passing year that we age which makes that even less.

And so we wait. Hoping, for the first time in my life, for that missed period.

#17 ON THE LIST - MILWAUKEE

Ok, so according to Fit Pregnancy magazine, Milwaukee ranks #17 of the Best Places to Have a Baby. Apparently there are less C-sections, lower hospital costs, more parks & public walking spaces, and lots of childcare options. The downside seems to be little to no tax advantages, fewer mothers choose to breastfeed here, and the climate is extreme. Hmmm...so if we breastfeed longer, and had better weather, it would be a better city to have a baby? What about the actual raising of the child? Maybe that's what should really be taken into consideration.

FOUR...4...Quatra...Vier...
It's FOUR DAY!

Ok, so I was tagged...and since I can't rest thanks to aforementioned pounding, I figured, what the hell...

Four Jobs I've Had
1. Company Manager - MRF
2. Marketing/Entertainment Asst. Director - BRF
3. Marketing Assistant - Rockwell
4. Reporter - Fenton news

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
1. Pride & Prejudice
2. Love Actually
3. Willie Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
4. Lady Jane

Four Places I Have Lived
1. Flint, MI
2. Adrian, MI
3. London, England
4. Racine, WI

Four TV Shows I Love
1. Gilmore Girls
2. Project Runway
3. Starting Over
4. Will & Grace

Four Places Where I've Vacationed
1. England
2. Florida
3. Minnesota
4. Illinois

Four Favorite Dishes
1. Shrimp Scampi
2. BBQ ribs
3. Chicken Marsala
4. Szechuan Chicken

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. Kassi's blog
2. Yahoo news
3. Free FM
4. random searches

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now
1. London
2. Chicago
3. Germany
4. with friends

MORE BANGING

I'm learning to hate roofers. No one person in particular, and I know they are doing their job, but why does it seem their work can be quite quiet until the moment I have a headache and try to lie down. That's the moment they choose to work directly outside my bedroom window, hammering, pounding, and yelling to each other. *sigh* The headache grows worse.

On top of that, during their work yesterday, which should have consisted of taking down & replacing the soffets & gutters, they tore down part of our porch! Seriously, they destroyed and removed the entire unside roof of our 1917 porch!!! I was furious! The owner of the company's response? "Oops." Oops!!!! You must be kidding me!!!!
Not happy today.

BANG BANG BOOM

The roofers are back.
This means another day of hammering, banging, pounding and other random loud noises that generally interrupt one's otherwise quiet day. I find it highly disturbing to see men outside your upstairs windows.

They first were here for two weeks at the beginning of December, replacing the entire roof. All that while I was deathly ill and needing sleep. They left the place dirty with a mess all around the yard (leaving me praying for snow just to cover it all up). Now they are (finally) back to replace the gutters and soffets. *sigh* In the spring the house will be repainted. I know I should be happy about that but, quite honestly, it just seems like a headache. Oh well..my house will be lovely.

On an unrelated note, the interview went well. They won't tell me for another week or so if I got the job (which I desperately hope for), but I'm very confident that I gave a good interview, answered their questions in an educated manner not simply an opinionated one, and felt confident. For now...we wait.

I also picked up my new text book "Professional Meeting Management" for the Meeting & Convention Event Planning class I'm taking this semester at MATC. I'm taking the course online, rather than going to the campus, so as to have more time with the rest of life. I've never done that before and feel slightly fearful of it. I'll let ya know how it goes.

ANTICIPATION

Today I have a second interview for the job I desperately want. The position would be coordinating, marketing, etc. senior tours as well as creating & running various special events/parties throughout the year. It is only everything I want...everything I'm good at. I feel if I don't get the job, then I'm not as good as I believe myself to be. If I do get the job...when I get the job...I'm going to be elated! I've put my prayers, and lots of good energy out into the world, I can only hope, pray a little more, and put my best, most confident self forward today.

It doesn't take away the nerves though.

Paul and I at Castell Coch in Wales. This is one of our favourite castles.

LITTLE THINGS

These are my happy thoughts/moments this week:
1. I'm finally getting the photos of my wedding into a special album & sending it off to my mom.
2. I can *finally* listen to my favourite Detroit radio program "Dominski & Doyle" (97.1fm WKRK) each and every day thanks to the internet! I've tried for 3 years, and at long last they have the broadcast live online. This makes me smile...they crack me up!
3. My husband left me the sweetest love letter under my pillow the other morning...written on parchment, in calligraphy. *sigh...my own Mr. Darcy*
4. Tomorrow is my daughter's 12th birthday party...5 pre-teen girls slumber party-ing at our house & a night of ice skating. It reminds me of my own junior high days. (Hubby & I plan to hang out in our room with Scrabble & movies on the portable DVD.)
5. I sent a birthday card to an old friend. She may not be thrilled to get it...we haven't talked in a very long time...but I want her birthday to be delightful, nonetheless, and so I will send her happiness with no strings attached.

BACK ON TRACK

Things are good. Or at least getting good. My daughter is really blossoming into her own person, and despite the occasional ups and downs typical of a "tween", she's a good kid. She has a few really great friends whom I approve of entirely, and she's learning to be more concientious of people other than herself. (A mighty task with kids!) My husband and I were having a few "growing pains" of our own, trying to find a balance of spending lots of time together and still maintaining some of that necessary personal time. I think we've realized that alot of communication & respect are all anyone needs to sort it all out. No matter what the problem. And we're both feeling some pressure and a little bit of fear in regards to trying to get pregnant. The reality is I'm not getting any younger, and we don't want to put me (or the baby) in any more risk than there naturally is. But I'm feeling some fear in the reality that in 6 years I could be an "empty nester", and instead I'm contemplating diapers & bottles. He's facing the fear of first time parenting, sleepless nights, and financial strain. It's all justified, but it's that giant elephant standing in the doorway right now. At least I feel good knowing we'll be in it together when it happens...all 3 of us. (I guess that would technically be 4, wouldn't it??)

Our Wedding Party

Since I've finally figured out how to post photos on here, I decided I'd honour everyone who was in our wedding party by posting their loveliness for the world to see. I love you all!

MEANEST MOM ON THE PLANET

Why is it when we are forced, due to their behaviour, punish our children, we -- the loving parent-- are forced to feel like we are so mean? We only want them to learn, to do as they are told, to respect their possessions...our possessions...themselves...us. So, why then, do I feel so guilty? Feel like I've handled it all wrong? I've tried reasoning, I've tried giving examples, I've tried taking favourite things away. What works??

And I'm sick of the words, "I'm sorry" from people, without anything to back it up.

The Dull Road to Recovery

I'm finally getting better, things are back to a semblence of order...Paul has returned to work, Kaitlyn has returned to school, and I have the house to myself without feeling like death. And I'm bored out of my skull!!!

I admit I've spend a great portion of the day reading "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants"...Kaitlyn received the trilogy for her birthday, with the knowledge that mom had to read it first to determine if she really is old enough to read it yet. (Thus far I think another year or two would be more appropriate.) And I applied online to a couple of jobs. And I straightened up the living room.

But I'm bored. I miss having them around.

My car is slowly dying. $1600 is the current estimate for engine replacement...its own kidney problems, I guess. If only you could just take it in and have it healed. Unfortunately I'm afraid it is going to have to be laid to rest and a new one purchased. Not good, since both Paul & I have our current vehicles paid off...we didn't really want a car payment right now. *sigh* So I'm looking for good used ones as well. And the Kia special at the dealership.
Ah, if only we had good public transportation.

Talk about...Pop Music...

Ok, so I've always loved music, ever since I was a little kid. Love it. I used to be a DJ for a brief and shining moment in time at WWCK-AM/105.5FM in Flint, MI. It was fun. It was exciting. They paid me to play....literally. And music, lyrics, still seem to often express my emotions the best sometimes. My mood can totally be changed by a single song.

This December I've been laid up the whole month, and really missed out on all the fun that is the holiday season: christmas shopping, looking for the perfect gifts, driving around listening to the carols & looking at the lights displays, the eggnog and cookies, dressing up...all of it, I've missed out on because of kidney stones. how is it that something 8cm in size can screw up your whole life and make you a prisoner in your own home? *sigh*

So, feel inspired by this fun quizzy bit I ran across earlier tonight. I'd love to hear your answers!

Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY IN SONG TITLES by that band
Artist/Band: Duran Duran (of course)
Are you male or female: Girls on Film
Describe yourself: Ordinary World
How do some people feel about you: Hot Head
How do you feel about yourself: Is There Something I Should Know?
Describe what you want to be: Notorious
Describe how you live: My Own Way
Describe how you love: Hungry Like the Wolf
Share a few words of wisdom: Reach Out for the Sunrise

RESOLUTIONS

I've decided to post my resolutions in the hopes that by living a public life, I will feel more obligated to them. My husband believes you live with secrets or you live publically, and you can't have one or the other. But then he is incredibly honest. So here it is...my resolutions to myself & the world.

1. Be Healthier. Of course I sit here hours away from surgery, so that seems a bit of an obvious request, but I mean an overall healthier life. The "I'm getting married stress" diet helped some, and the "kidney stone" diet has allowed me to drop some more rather non-obvioius to anyone but me pounds, but I want to seriously drop some inches and poundage over the next year. I want a baby with my husband and I want to not be "at risk" for my weight and age. I want to do more with Kaitlyn, who wants to be more physical too. And I want to keep up with my skinny, long legged husband well into my mid-life and twilight years to come.

2. Be in touch more. I want to make sure to send more cards and write more often to people so we don't lose touch. I've lost my dad and some friends this past year. I'll never have them back, I think. And it feels like a big part of my past has simply been erased. I don't want that to happen again.

3. Make ideas real. I have a couple of really big projects I want to do. That I've wanted to do for awhile now. And my husband is entirely encouraging me to do them...giving me the time and tools to make it real. And so I will. No more "what ifs"...I hope to be published (or in process) by next holiday season. I want my event planning business to really take off...even if its a slow start. But the reality is before me.

There aren't many, but they are big, life changing ones. I hope encouragement comes from the world at large.

Happy Holidays!

Christmas has come and gone relatively happy this year. My wedding was a lovely, happy event I think most people enjoyed. I know we did! I can't believe I'm Mrs. Wawrzyniak now. We had a great honeymoon to England & Wales. Bath is my new favourite city. Arundel was amazing. And sadly, London is changing and not "MY" city anymore.

I returned to the USA and have been ill ever since. Two surgeries later and another yet to come tomorrow, for kidney stones and a serious infection. It's been difficult, painful, and frustrating. I feel as if I've missed out on the entire Christmas season, and barely was able to get any gifts for people due to being in the hospital or laid up. It hasn't been a good month, but I'm taking each day as it comes...and little better each day.

My illness has delayed me being able to be in touch with people, but hopefully that will change now.

I hope everyone is having a great holiday...no matter what your celebration may be! and may it be with those you love!

Autumn

Love it. Everything about it. The crispness of the air, the amazingly beauty of the colours, the need to wear sweaters, walking through the woods, the fields, hayrides, Haunted Houses, hot cider and donuts, apple orchards...it's the only thing that takes me away from being a city girl and makes me yearn to be outside, away from the city and into nature.

I love Halloween. It's my favourite day of the year. Costumes and laughter. Since I was 11 I've had a BIG Halloween bash every year. Except last year (because Paul had just moved in and things were crazy), and this year (because of the wedding 2 weeks later). It's killing me to not have my annual Halloween party. I vow that next year things will be back to "normal". I haven't even been able to buy pumpkins yet this year, let alone carve them. House painting is finally almost done (though a new roof is in store for us yet this fall...oh joy) so I put the tombstones out in the front, hung some orange lights inside the front windows (since a house built in 1917 has no outside outlets...go figure), a light up ghost that is older than me and so I love it in the front window, and a disembodied skeletal hand in my front hallway. It's silly and fun.

Paul does not share my love of all things Halloween. It's the oddest thing to me, because it's such a fun time. But he indulges me, and even came with Jackie, Tabitha and I to a Haunted Trail (which, by the by, was pretty darn good) two weeks ago. It even had a ride in a hearse to out to the trail...how often do you get that? Of course Paul & I were in the back...where we were attacked by the madman with a chain saw, and I still suffer a majorly huge bruise on my thigh as a result, but hey! It was fun! It's all part of the joy Autumn brings!

And I have the wedding coming up. Yet another reason to love the fall. I'm excited. I want it here already. 17 days and counting.

I love this time of year.

NEW READING LIST
ok, so my friend Kassi had this posted on her blog, and I have to say, I was inspired. Pick up a book today & read it!! Demand freedom of speech.

Top 100most frequently challenged books since 1900
1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz2. Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling8. Forever by Judy Blume9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger14. The Giver by Lois Lowry15. It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker19. Sex by Madonna20. Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard27. The Witches by Roald Dahl28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry30. The Goats by Brock Cole31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane32. Blubber by Judy Blume33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry37. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison40. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters byLynda Madaras41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee42. Beloved by Toni Morrison43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard46. Deenie by Judy Blume47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole55. Cujo by Stephen King56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis61. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons byLynda Madaras62. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher65. Fade by Robert Cormier66. Guess What? by Mem Fox67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding71. Native Son by Richard Wright72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen74. Jack by A.M. Homes75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle77. Carrie by Stephen King78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez87. Private Parts by Howard Stern88. Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
(Highlighted ones are books I have read...and in most cases, enjoyed!)

GOOD OMENS
The funniest book I’ve ever read. In my opinion, possibly the funniest book ever written. Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett co-wrote this brilliant novel "based on the prophesies of Agnus Nutter, witch". The antichrist is just a regular British schoolboy, with a dog named (appropriately) Dog...hardly a hound from hell. The angel would want to be my friend because of his gayness and penchant for art and literature. The demon and I would be drinking buddies, we have similar driving skills, though all of his music has a penchant to turn into Queen’s Greatest Hits.
I feel happy every time I read this book...why? Because it’s hilarious. Go ahead...read it...I dare you...and I dare you to NOT laugh. I don’t believe it can be done.
Kim Rife (nee’Weber) first introduced me to this book. It was purchased. Lost. Purchased again. Stolen. Purchased again. Loaned out and never returned. Purchased again in London. Loaned again, never to be returned. And finally purchased one more time in Toronto. What would ever make me re-buy the same book over and over? Uh...the 4 motorcyclists of the Apocolypse, I guess. But I can’t feel bad in knowing that the book was taken from me over and over, because others found it just so damn good too. I don’t know just how many times I’ve read that book in the past 12 years or so, but a hell of a lot.
It’s hilarious...read it...before the end of the world...next Friday and noon.

ALONE TIME

Right now I'm struggling with the need for alone time.
I'm feeling the need for a few hours, maybe an afternoon, to just walk around a store by myself, looking at things I'd rather have than money. To simply be away from home and family, and all the responsibilites that go with it. To be away from the wedding plans. To not have to take any calls from anyone. To just be me. Alone. To possibly indulge myself without guilt for an hour or two.

Not that I don't love my family, because I do. And I love time with them. I just need a momentary break.

ABOUT ME

What are your favorite childhood memories?
Tossing Barbie doll parts into the lake & then diving for them.

What was your first real memory?
My first steps. Seriously. I remember walking across the room to get the big red ball my sister Kathy had put on the chair.

Did your family have any special or unusual traditions?
Eating stollen (from Frankenmuth specifically) on Christmas morning.

What were your favorite subjects in school?
English, Theatre, Humanities, Creative Writing

What was your favorite grade in school?
Hmm...I recall 3rd being pretty awesome, and 10th . College wasn’t too awful either.

What did you want to be when you grew up?
Initially an actress, then a teacher, then a veterinarian, finally I wanted to be a writer - a music journalist is what I went to college for. I’ve made my living most of my life in the theatre...funny, no?

Did you have any pets as a child?
Oh yes...a parakeet named Snoopy (who lived 17 years!), and lots of dogs: Suzette, Freckles, Schnapps, TieTac, and Holli. I’ve loved them all a lot, and want a dog desperately!

Did your family ever go on any memorable vacations?
Rome, Italy was the most memorable.

Did your family have any struggles as you were growing up?
Not that I was ever aware of.

Were your parents demonstrably affectionate with you or one another?
Always. I expect a lot because of the romance between my parents.

Did you like yourself as a child?
Pretty much, yeah...I didn’t have a reason not to.

Did you have a pet name or nickname?
Kimba

What things made you laugh?
Lots of things...mostly my friends

What things scare you?
Loneliness, Clowns (they’re evil, pure & simple).

How did you get along with your brothers and sisters?
Ok, I guess. I’ve never been close to any of them to be honestly. They are all much older than I am

How did you get in trouble?
I never got in trouble, I was the perfect child. (Ok, it was usually for talking too much in class...go figure.)

How were you disciplined?
Guilt. Big ol’ Catholic guilt.

Who were your best friends? What is your relationship with them like today?
Margie Schmidt. I have no idea where she is today. I wish I knew.
Douglas Burtrum. Likewise, I’d love to get in touch with him. Let I knew he was out East working in the medical field. If anyone knows, let me know!

When was the first time you understood what it meant to die?
Despite spending a lot of time at funeral homes during my youth, I’m going to say I don’t think I ever comprehended the depth of death until my friend, Boyd Brown died.

What parts of your childhood would you like to go back and relive?
That carefree time of riding my bike on the trails through the woods during the fall

What do you remember about your first day of junior high/middle school?
Not exactly, it was the middle of 6th grade when we moved and I was thrown into junior high. I was already ahead in school, so it wasn’t scary.

Who was your first crush? What qualities attracted you to him/her?
I think it was Scott somebody. I still have a Valentine he made me. He was cute, and the nicest boy in the third grade.

What did you do on dates?
Usually movies, walking in the park, out to dinner, etc.

Who educated you about sex?
Friends mostly.

Did you like yourself as a teenager?
For the most part, yes.

What were your goals for the future?
To move to England, be a music journalist and marry Simon le Bon, of course!

How did being a young adult change your relationships with your parents?
I think they respected me more, and I definately respected them more.

Did you ever experiment with drugs or alcohol?
No. Never with drugs, and alcohol not until college

Did you have after school jobs?
In high school I worked for Stride Rite. In college, medical transcription.

Did you have enough money?
Yep. Mom & Dad were always generous.

What kinds of groups did you belong to in high school?
Theatre, Newspaper

What would you say were your greatest accomplishments in high school?
I was the only person to ever be an editor of the newspaper all 4 years of school.

In high school what were your greatest failures?
Math. I’m still bad at it.

What were your favorite books growing up? Movies?
Christy. Little House books. The Wizard of Oz. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Willy Wonka

What was the last book you read?
"The Fyre Mirror" by Karen Harper. It’s an Elizabethan mystery that takes place at the home of Lady Lumley (heh, heh, heh)

Compare yourself now to yourself as a teenager.
I was more outrageous...a punk...I think I care more about people now.

What are your job goals for the future?
Continue working where I am, but start my event planning business too.

Where would you like to live ?
I like our new house, though I’d always be up for a place on the lake...or in England!

What are your current political affiliations?
None. I refuse to be affiliated with politics if I can help it.

What is your relationship with your parents like now?
I love them dearly. I miss them both.

Would you like to have children in the future? If so, what number would you consider ideal?
Though I already have one daughter, I would like at least one more. Paul would like 2.

What do you consider to be your natural talents?
Writing. Talking w/people. Public speaking.

How would your friends answer that question about you?
I think they would say the same.

Would you say that you are mainly an extrovert or introvert?
Extrovert.

Are you a "morning person" or a "night person?"
Oh, such a night person, despite the schedule I keep.

Describe your daily schedule.
5:30am Paul’s alarm goes off & wakes me up. I attempt to return to sleep.
6:30am Paul kisses me goodbye & wakes me up. I attempt to return to sleep.
7:00am My alarm goes off. Get up, get ready for the day.
8:00am Leave the house, take Kaitlyn to school, head to work.
8:30am - 4:30pm Work
4:30pm Go home, start dinner, enjoy the evening.

What one thing would you like to experience before you die?
More world travel

What is one place you’ve never traveled to that you would like to see?
Germany

How do you feel about aging?
Other than gaining wisdom, I can’t say I’m too fond of it. I will not go gently into old age. I will dye my hairs as long as possible. I will pay for microdermabrasion. I will bathe in the blood of virgins to stay young & beautiful forever!

What is your perspective on death? Life after death?
Death brings sorrow. But I know there is life after death. That there is a Heaven. I know there is a place with no pain but happiness. I know my father is there now.

THE COUNTDOWN

And so the countdown to my wedding begins.
2 months.
Many small details to attend to, many small things I could overly stress about, and at moments, do. But I'm trying hard not to.
I had glass goblets blown for Paul and I (Girl Glass, the most amazing glassblowers on the planet, to be sure) so you can imagine my disappointment when they turned out completely awful! The opposite extreme of what I ordered. I'm so disappointed. I can only hope they will actually remake them. *sigh*

I'm hoping everyone comes to the wedding.
My showers are soon.
I'm excited.

A YEAR AND A DAY

When Paul proposed last year, we said " a year and a day " as the "trial run", so to speak. So now, that's past. What did that year and a day bring?

Some heartache. He continually let's his mother put a GIANT strain on our relationship. (Yesterday was a big family gathering, in which everyone seemed to have fun...with the exception of his always overcritical mother, and as a result, my fiance'. He left the party feeling doubtful, stressed, and unhappy, particularly with us. Go figure.) I say, yes, we have financial issues because I'm (once again) not working. Yes, we do things differently. The things I want cleaned a certain way are not always the way he wants things cleaned a certain way. It's petty, in my opinion, but it's one of the big things (besides money) that can literally drive him crazy. So at the end of our "trial run" he's feeling there has been just soooo much difficulty. What??? He just doesn't understand the level of difficulty life can bring. Because he's never HAD to experience it. He's NEVER gone without a job. He's never had his heartbroken. He's never truly known hurt. Or remorse. Or love.

So the year and a day also brought some good. We address issues rather than letting them fester and build into some overgrown ugliness. We talk. We have great experiences.

But are we happy? I don't know. I think I am. I would be if I didn't feel horrible guilt that is imposed upon me by him. And his mother. I would be if he's actually take the time to have a relationship with Kaitlyn. (He promised me he'd start over when she gets home. I told him to work on having a friendship with her rather than trying to be disiplinarian...that's MY job.) I want us to be happy. I think we're happy. I think I'd be happier if he knew what it is to be happy.

I'm realizing my love is damaged. He's been pushed around so much in life, told what to do and how to do it, he doesn't know what end is up on his own.

Not sure how to work with that yet. But I think that life has given me enough experience to try.

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL

Ok, so his momentary lapse of all things reasonable has passed. Cold Feet. What a stupid feeling, in my opinion, though I know everyone goes through it. Who hasn't doubted, questioned, or plain out panicked at the prospect of "the one & only...forever and ever...'til death do us part"? But really, isn't it foolish to get so worked up over what ifs and maybes?? The Runaway Bride certainly did. http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/news/0622_bride.html

And so, after much talk, and reassurance, we're back on track. He got down on one knee and re-proposed (at my insistance). I just couldn't continue unless he did it without doubt. And so he has, and so we proceed for our 12 November wedding date.

That's today's headache...invitations. ICK. I can honestly say that invitations have been the worst part of the wedding planning. I just don't know what I want. And nothing is worth the money they are charging!

HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT

I feel my life has been a rollercoaster lately. Not the fun adreneline rush of excitement from that height, but rather the sinking pit that comes with the nausea of something being horribly wrong.

I'm depressed. It's truly that simple. I haven't been able to get a decent job, therefore I'm feeling less than worthwhile, less than human, if you will. I'm not a "contributing member of society". And that makes me feel bad. Add to it my dearest friend is moving away. That hurts. Literally the proverbial "feeling like you lost your best friend" emotion. Add to it my daughter is away to her father's home for the summer. I miss her. Add to it the grief of my father's death has finally hit...and I miss him horribly. And my mom to boot. Add to it I have no hobby to occupy my time & thoughts with this summer. I'm not doing any renfaire, and I feel somewhat lost.

Add to it my fiance' declared he is uncertain if this is the life he really wants and is questioning our relationship and our upcoming marriage. How can he get cold feet now, just over 4 months before out wedding? How can he tell me he doubts it all? How can he do this when I'm already feeling like sludge?

It isn't fair. It isn't just. And I don't know what to do about any of it. Anyone out there have any suggestions? Logic says RUN. But thats fear, not confrontation of the situation, and if I'm anything its someone who likes to confront a situation, analyze it, sort it out to the details, and then do whatever its necessary to fix it. You don't throw relationships away.

He says he loves me. Is it enough???

BIZARRE WORLD

The past week, while in Florida for Dad's funeral, I realized just how different I am from my siblings...and glad for it. Funerals really do bring out the worst (and best) in people.

I also was reminded just how important it is that we embrace life. That we remember to tell the people who matter, just that...that they matter. And that we learn to laugh more often.

So here is my contribution to more laughter in the world.
Enjoy!
http://www.hanttula.com/exhibits/index.htm