15 June 2012

The Results are in!

Had my doctor follow-up yesterday.
The Good News:  My cholesterol is fine.  I am not anemic.  I have no thyroid condition.
The Bad News:  I have high blood pressure & am now on medication for it.    My insulin isn't great.  I am not diabetic, but if I don't get things under control I could reach that level.  Something else shows I have some sort of kidney problem going on.  That scares me more than anything.  I went into the hospital for lab work and have to have an renal ultrasound next week.  Feeling nervous but I can't overstress until I know what's going on.  Praying, nonetheless.

01 June 2012

Falling Downward

I had a dream last night I was floating in a body of water, and I suddenly flipped over & was staring down into a cavernous abyss.  It was deep blues & black, and foreboding.  I startled myself awake.
I realized it was a reflection of how I'm feeling.  
I'm scared of falling into the abyss.
My blood pressure is up.  That terrifies me.  I'm afraid my blood work will come back with even worse news.
I constantly fear I will never live out my dreams to see the world.
I'm in fear of not experiencing the world with my kids.
As much as I love the water, I don't want to drown.