06 March 2006
Another month...no pregnancy.
I wish I was one of those women who could just "go with the flow" but the truth is, I don't have it in me to not think about things. I've often been accused of "thinking too much". I consider. I ponder. I fret. I assess. I research. I don't let things drop until they are resolved. Sometimes I push and push to the point of frustration, but I like to have a clear picture. Nothing left to doubt or chance.
So here I am playing the greatest game of chance...trying to get pregnant. Hell, I don't even like Monopoly because it's too much of a chance game! I get angry and frustrated when I play. Give me a game like Scattergories, Trivial Pursuit or heck, even Pictionary. Those of games of mental skill...I can do that.
But the game of conception is all about rolling the dice and taking the chance. And just like Monopoly that takes so long to play, you have to wait. Only to find out your house at Park Place has been repossessed, your Water Works have dried up, and you don't get to go past GO or collect $200. Another month wasted. Start over. Try again. Draw the Chance card and put your emotions on hold.