23 August 2006

Thank yous

Recently I've read alot of blogs that have made me feel sorry for the author because of a tragedy that is far too common in our day and age...the inconsideration of a spouse. Now, don't get me wrong, we all have our days, but blogs like this one shake me up and make me realize how wrong it is for us to be unappreciated by those we love the most. I see this as an unfortunate epidemic of a modern society that is so "me-me-me" oriented. We sometimes forget to be thankful of those little daily tasks. It isn't always easy to get up every day, deal with the kids, clean the house, run the errands, and remain cheerful. It also isn't always easy to get up, go to a stressful job, deal with traffic, and pay bills. We take it all for granted, and in doing so fail to say thank you...and mean it.

I had my own experiences of feeling unappreciated in the past, and with that, not appreciating the other person, as well. With my new marriage I vowed to not let that happen. It takes effort but the rewards are great. It doesn't always come naturally, and we all need validation in different ways. Through Divine grace, my husband was introduced by a (male) co-worker to the book "Love Languages". I cannot recommend this book enough. We have come to realize that there are 5 languages through which everyone finds their validation and sense of being appreciated. My husband's is Acts of Service. When I do the laundry and help out with chores, he feels loved. This is crazy to me...to me they are simply chores that everyone hates. To him they are signs that I care enough to give him a clean home...and he thanks me for it. He appreciates me for doing what I consider meaningly tasks you just have to do. Me, my main language is Acts of Time. I feel loved and appreciated when he makes the time to be with me. Whether its watching a movie or taking a walk, I feel the time he takes out of his day for me matter. And I thank him for it.

We are all taught The Golden Rule as children, yet often fail at it as adults. We need to recognize the little things the people in our lives do have value, and regularly thank them for doing them.


Kassi said...

I read that angry post, and I am not sure who I felt more sorry for...her or the husband. I think it is sad that we (in society) find it okay to run amok and slander our spouses.

We have the Languages of Love book, but we haven't taken time to work through it...perhaps we should :)

Lady Jane said...

You are absolutely right: we do need to recognize the little things people do for us that show how much they love us. Thanks for the reminder. And congratulations on the baby! You are both in my prayers!

angela said...

I have read this book, too, and it is eye opening isn't it? I always think everyone thinks like me...but you read something like that book and talk about it with people and find out how different everyone is in what really "speaks" to them.

I have a really really dear friend who balks every time I ask him to do something, even if it is tiny tiny tiny...Then if he does it, there's always a little eye roll.

My love language is acts of service, too, and it just gets my gut when he acts like this...His is "words of affirmation" and he loves it if I tell him he is doing a great job on something or that I know he can accomplish something he is trying to do.

He just doesn't get it, though...

Anyway, the point is, if you know what someone's ll is you should do it and it sounds like you two ARE doing it....you are such grownups:-)