02 August 2006
I find myself fearful of something, anything going wrong with this pregnancy to the point of complete anxiety over it. Every time I go to the bathroom I fear seeing blood. Everytime I feel a muscle pull, I'm terrified. Even this heat has me worried. I never worried like this with my first pregnancy. But then I was in my 20s and perhaps I just didn't know to worry? It doesn't help that seemingly every program on television is about complicated deliveries, at risk pregnancies, or babies with problems at birth! I feel like there is a conspiracy out there to put pregnant mothers in a constant state of fear. (Of course I also feel our news tries to keep all Americans in a constant state of fear, but that's a whole different topic.) And those that don't are about these SuperMoms...you know, shows like "Yummy Mummy" or worse "Runway Moms"...these women who look fabulous even during 40 hours of intense labour, only to get up and take care of their 3 other toddlers while cooking a gourmet meal in heels. Today's modern television is only fueling the fears that any mother has , let alone those of a late 30s, slightly overweight starting over mom, but damn it can't I have some reassurance please that everything is going to be ok and that I WILL have a healthy, happy baby carried full term?!