18 August 2006

The Past

An old friend who, for lack of better description, elected to remove himself from my life a couple of years ago, has been haunting my dreams.

I'd like to blame it on crazy pregnancy hormones, but the truth of the matter is, I think its something more. Last night we were mutually performing a renaissance event at some estate in which he played Sir Philip Sidney (a character he has never portrayed let me state) and I alternated between being a noble and a servant. In the scenario his (Philip's) family were plotting to kill him, and I (as the servant character) had to warn him because he had been a secret lover of mine. (In real life, said ex-friend is gay, though we used to perform together at renaissance faires...where he played straight characters.) Anyway, after the event we had a chance to sit down and talk and catch up on things. His boyfriend and another female roommate ex-friend (who apparently hate me too) were there as well, though peripherally.

I realize I'm still having lingering needs to make amends in this relationship, but the truth is, he has refused to communicate with me for 2 years now. I don't believe that will change. Other mutual friends have brought my name up in conversations with him, but no one (from what I've been told) have ever brought the situation up to find out the whys behind it all. I guess I'll just go on wondering exactly what ended our friendship, hoping his life is a great one, and having him haunt my dreams.

I'm curious if anyone else has had similar things happen in their life?


Chi said...

Hi! Renee sent me here this morning. *s* I'm not sure what to tell you to do about this lost friendship but I do wish you all the best.

Renee said...

well I know why I lost my friendship and I've tried to fix it, but she won't hear of it. It's worse when you don't know why..no closure.

Thanks for stopping by my party today! Hope you had lots of virtual fun!

Kassi said...

All you can do is ask, and then ask forgiveness for whatever it is...and then move on. I will pray that you have closure on whatever it is that is keeping you two apart.