03 April 2007

Where I'm At

I realize by putting this post out on the internet I'm opening myself up for a world of opinion, criticism and attack but I've never been one to lot others opinions affect me too much, and this is my blog, my honest life. So when I write that breast feeding didn't work for my son & I, it is what it is. We tried for a couple of weeks, with less than adequate results. He was angry, I was frustrated, and the bottom line is that I couldn't produce what he needed. My milk, quite simply, doesn't come in well. Even with the top of the line Medela electric pump from the hospital the most I got was a few drops. I had the same problem with my daughter when she was a baby. I thought things would be different this time, but I was mistaken. Do I feel upset about it? No. My son is growing & content. My daughter, who was formula fed has never had more than a simple cold & is highly intelligent. My friend's one-year-old was formula fed and, like my daughter, has done everything early & his very smart. Heck, I was adopted as an infant, and therefore was formula fed, and I like to believe I'm rather on the clever side of things! So, no my son isn't being breastfed, but our bonding is far from lacking. He's happy, healthy & growing...that's all that matters really.

It's 6 weeks tomorrow. Time flies. Me? My body is feeling back to normal, if rather stretched out & in need of exercise. Mentally I'm in need of stimulation. Emotionally I don't feel postpartum too much, though I do admit to feeling a significant detachment from my husband. Time & energy don't really allow us much "us" time...and I'll admit I'm desperate for it. A little romance would do wonders. Perhaps for our birthdays?


Mrs. M said...

i think the bottle vs. boob thing is all a myth. my brother and i were different and both rather smart, well developed children.

by the way, hi!just found your little corner of the blogosphere.

Kassi said...

I breastfed Zac for 4 months, Abby for 6 weeks, and Kimi for one month. My body wouldn't produce enough milk to fill them up, it was either persist in stress, anguish and guilt that I was starving my babies, or give them the bottle. Do I regret it? Not one bit.

Besides, I found that my self esteem, my mobility, my social life increased while my stress level decreased.

I think that the most important thing is that you are doing what is right for you and your baby; and with less frustration and worry, comes more bonding. But you already know that.


Abbey said...

Isn't horrible that mothers have to defend how they are feeding their babies? You're feeding him right? That's all that matters. That and eventually getting some sleep ;-) As soon as I get over this cold that's been passed through our house, I will get my butt across the street like I said I would weeks ago. Then, if you want, I can babysit and mommy and daddy can get some alone time.

Kimba said...

Abbey, stop by soon! As for babysitting...that would be awesome!

Buffalo Buffy said...

Hey girl...

I had the same issues with my oldest. Tried and tried...just couldn't get enough. Now he's 11 and as you have said, there have been no major problems and certainly nothing I would attribute to that.

Glad things are going well...

PatentPrincess said...

First of all, congrats on six weeks with your little one! Your snuggle bug is growing up so fast (LOL)!

I'm sorry to hear about the breastfeeding issues. It's so frustrating to really want to BF only to run across challenges that make it very trying or even impossible. Tim and I have struggled with BF ourselves, but our issue has not been milk supply, but getting him to latch and nurse efficiently. In my BF class, the instructor encouraged us to give it six weeks, and now that I'm almost there, I still feel about as frustrated as I did with it during week one!! Now Tim and I are doing mainly pumping and bottles, and we'll do that for as long as my milk supply holds out. I initially felt really bad that nursing wasn't working out, but, in all honestly, feeding Tim this way has been much less stressful on both of us. And, the bonding time that we get when I give him a bottle is awesome. He looks into my eyes when I cuddle him close to me and it's just fabulous, really.

A lactation consultant (of all people!!) in the hospital told me that the most important thing is that your baby is loved and well-fed, whether it's from Mommy herself, a bottle of breast milk, or formula. If formula is working the best for you and your little one, then that's what really matters.

Anyway, I wrote a novel here, but I hope you are doing well!!