Family Vacations

So we've been talking for awhile now about taking a family vacation this summer. We set our sights on Colonial Williamsburg. It has all those elements we love...history, culture, shopping, places for the kids, etc. Then hubby sets the financial limits & presents the challenge to me to figure out how to make it happen. Well, I'm a research monkey and LOVE a good challenge! So, I did it! I made a roadtrip out to Virginia fit within our time frame, our budget, even a way to see a few very good friends along the way! Everything!

And then his hours were cut back, and mine were cut even more.

Now our wonderful family vacation has been eliminated. Erased. No more.
I'm REALLY sad about it. Instead we are limited to the backyard. Perhaps a day here & there at one of the Chicago museums (since we get in free anyway).

If only my hours would increase again or another good job came along...but in this economy we all know how likely that is.

Thank you for your suggestions of places to go, though! Mackinac Island is wonderful, but the height of the season at the beginning of August. And we've been to Galena, IL several times. It's positively wonderful & a special place for us...without the kids.

Keep making suggestions! Perhaps something will fit into our even more limited budget yet?!?!

Eliminated or still in the game?

I feel a mixed bag of emotions right now. Part of me is proud. I felt like a Top Chef contestant last night as I prepared an entire dinner that I'd never made before. Roast duckling with 'ala Orange sauce, a duck reduction gravy, potatoes and a cranberry-orange salad. It was lovely, if I do say so.

However, I feel entirely unappreciated, respected or supported. I never get help anymore with the baby, and thus I'm tired ALL.THE.TIME. I'm working 2 parttime jobs, plus a full time mama job. And still everyone seems to think I'm not doing enough. I just feel like "why do I have to keep proving myself?"

The Pursuit

I just finished watching "The Pursuit of Happyness" with Will Smith. I cried. Hard. Because I've known his desperation. I've been in that situation...not knowing where my child & I were going to sleep or if we would eat the next day. I've known that pain of wanting desperately to take care of your child and feeling alone and scared...but trying to make it good for them all at the same time. My daughter slept in a large closet I called a room & put up pretty sparkly things to try to make her feel like it was here little private space. I'd send her for an overnight with her grandmother or dad so she wouldn't know I didn't have any food in the house that night. I went many days without food, so she could eat. I've gone years without new clothes so she'd have anything she needed. I've played the game of "let's only use candles tonight" so she wouldn't know the electricity had been turned off. I pulled her into bed with me, under all the blankets we had when we had no heat. It sucked, and I'm not proud of it. But that hell only lasted a year or so. But I will never be the same person because of it.

Fortunately today we have a house & the bills are paid (thank God for my husband). Money is tight, but nothing like it once was. So why is it that deep down I still feel scared? Since my father died & mom is invalid in a nursing home, I still feel alone in this world, despite my husband. Despite my friends.

The kidlet begins 8th grade tomorrow. I can't believe she's that old now. Each passing year makes me realize that we're a step closer to her adulthood. I'm scared she been hurt too much, too deeply, because of the bad curves life has thrown us while she was little. When do you truly know?

BIG WHITE GRR

I'm frustrated beyond belief. I get this GREAT, shining review. And then I get yelled at. *sigh* For something I didn't do. *Bigger Sigh* Then we get our checks. I got a raise. 21 cents. Are you freakin' kidding me? *BIG MEGA SIGH!*
Just par for the course this week.

I'm on a desperate hunt for a second job. Money is tight & it falls on me to bring more cash into the house. Yippee. I know the "easy " solution is just look for a new daytime job, but that means I have to leave my kids with someone else to raise. I just can't do that. I don't care if it's grandparents or not, the thought of anyone other than us teaching the baby in ways differently than us, being there for every milestone, etc. many days a week just kills me. I will work a second job to avoid that from happening. And so I'm on the hunt.

Anyone know of any leads?

UPDATE

Ok...so after complaining to Target, this is the response I received via email:

"I'm sorry for any disappointment, but we are unable to assist you with an exchange or store credit.Unless an item is listed on your registry purchase log, our return policy requires a receipt dated within 90 days for any return. As a guest service, you were able to return a few items without a receipt. Our computer system tracks every return using your driver's license or photo ID. Now you've reached your maximum number of returns without a receipt - that's why you now need to have a receipt for any item not listed on your registry purchase log. Great products. Great value. And a great shopping experience - every time you visit our stores. That's what Target is all about. Your feedback is a big help to us, and I'll make sure to share your comments with our executives. Please let us know if we can be of any help in the future.Thanks again for shopping with us. I hope you'll visit us again soon at Target.Sincerely,Tom Target Gift Registrieswww.target.com"

Gee, thanks for the help Target. I'm still stuck with things I don't want. I guess I'll be making a trip to the resale shop sometime soon. *sigh*

Hey Baby, Baby...

The first week of the new year has been stressful, to say the least. Hubby and I have both been working lots of extra hours, despite being short week. Kidlet has been back to school. Crazy random things have happened (like one of the boards of our bed falling off at midnight last night) , people's emotions have been running high and I've been on the receiving end of it. (Let's just say the ex hasn't been the most pleasant person to deal with this week.) And the biggest thing that has been stressing me out? Diapers. I know, I know the baby isn't even here yet, but the lack of diapers, wipes and stupid little necessity items like that have totally been freaking me out! I've also decided to plan ahead and take advantage of "Dinner by Design" and go prepare some meals to have during that first week or two after the little one gets here. But between exhaustion, hormones, and my own stress I think I'm losing my mind. Am I crazy or has the placenta eaten my brain?

'Tis the Season...for stress

Ok, first the good news. I passed the 3 hour glucose/gestational diabetes test, which means I'm all good. (YEAH!) I celebrated with a plate full of christmas cookies & a giant glass of milk.

I don't know that I really have any bad news, but merely to state I'm stressed beyond words right now. Extended family, money, pregnancy, etc. etc. etc...its all just adding up to me not being able to relax (or sleep) and simply causing me to generally freak out. Baby has been unusually quiet (and still) for a few days, which is also freaking me out. (ok, straight up terrifying me) I still have gifts to get. It's just a general feeling of I want to get away...have a relaxing massage or bath (in a tub much bigger than the one we have), and simply be able to destress. The end.

On the upside, we visited a Christkindelmarkt on Sunday. It's a traditional German Christmas market with vendors, artisans, food, etc. It was very enjoyable We definately want to take the baby & kidlet for photos there with Father Christmas next year.