15 October 2009

The Green Eyed Monster

I'm finding myself awash with jealousy lately.
Jealous of friends who are taking wonderful trips.
Jealous of people on television who have jobs I want.
Jealous of the sheer joy I see in my children's eyes when all I'm feeling is down.

Today has been my attempt at a bit of joy. Halloween decorating!
So far, no alot has been accomplished short of a small graveyard out front.

Tonight is a job interview I'm hoping will turn into an offer for a company I really respect.

Trying to stay positive. So far, I'm just green.

1 comment:

Kassi said...

Or you could be Elphaba for Halloween! Cheer up lady...everyone has a green eyed monster.

Mine is big enough for the both of us. I would give up all of the "trips" I have had for the opportunity to raise my children in a home of our own. Count yourself among the fortunate to be able to call a place "home", and you live in relative safety.

a couple of weeks ago, Zac had a knife pulled on him. For the past several years that we have lived here we have had to deal with bullying on one level or another with all of my children. Twice this past year our place was infested with bed bugs because our neighbors are disgusting. We get home and our neighbors trash litters the sidewalk and smells...having people come to visit is a gamble because we contend with the fact that the first thing they will see is our neighbor's trash and filth laying around.

Our girls have had lice at least 10times in the past two years because there are parents who don't take care of the problem and my girls keep "catching" them from the same kids. It's awful. And I am not exxagerating. I've missed work a number of times because of it.

We all have our monsters. And we all have our blessings. We are all only equipped to handle our own challenges and blessings.

I am learning that if I am going to look in someone elses yard, I have to look at the whole picture. but more often than not, we aren't allowed to see the whole picture, because people don't want their dirty laundry aired. Only the clean laundry is out for display. That is one of the things I hate about facebook and blogs...the real stuff is often not shown, which perpetuates the environment for people to be envious of other people.

It is a hurtful cycle, but we do it to ourselves. Just remember...not everything is as wonderful as it seems.

Even the trip to Mackinac we took was bittersweet because we are now indebted to our friends who practically paid the entire way for us to go. We couldn't afford it otherwise.

See? There was a downside. And a big one in my estimation.

But we make the best of it and move on I guess.

I'm sorry that you are bitten by the green eyed monster...I know how powerful it can be.

Love you,