18 September 2010


Lately all I've been feeling is loneliness.
None of my friends call.
None of my friends include me.
None of my friends (at least the ones that live within 3 hours of me) are spontaneous or ever want to just "hang out".
I don't remember the last "girl's day" I had with a friend...that just hanging out at the mall, having lunch, shopping for nothing.

A group of people were going to the Michigan RenFest this weekend. I wasn't even a thought.
I feel like a social outcast. Me, the one who always had endless friends around. Me, the one who always had people over. Me, who is ridiculously social, has no one to be social with.

I hate being alone.
I just keep fighting the tears as I read Facebook & see life happening all around me, and I'm so not a part of it.
I hate this.


Kanga said...

Sweetie ... I empathize with you on such a grand scale - you are describing my life as I live it. If there were a way to accomplish it, I would be calling you up quite frequently to just chat or go hang at the mall ... heck, I'd even invite you to grocery shop with me! *sigh* I do love you, I do miss you .... and right now, I am despising the 4 hour distance that is between us. With a passion beyond description. *sigh* {{{{hugs}}}}

Kanga said...

I thought I commented on this blog post, but apparently I did not. First of all ...{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} I WISH I lived within a few minutes drive of you, for I spend most of my days feeling just this way. Most people that I call "friend" here are really just good acquaintances ... we never really do anything together. We don't even just chat on the phone of or on IM. I miss that from when I lived on the east side of the state.
I empathize ... I sympathize ....

I love you!