18 September 2009

Are Yo-yos supposed to have Ups as well as Downs?

My life has been a broken Yo-Yo. All down, no up.
I'm seriously depressed, and I don't know what more to do. Not only am I getting NO bites on any resume'/applications I send, neither is Paul. He handles the bills, so I'm not asking, but I don't know how we're going to cover the mortgage, etc. this month. I'm sure there will be some creative juggling, but I'm just so angry that this is where things are right now.
Angry that, once again, I feel worthless & unmarketable.
Angry that I have to worry so much.
Angry that others get ridiculous amounts handed to them and they appreciate nothing.
We aren't bad people. We aren't uneducated or unexperienced. So why the hell are we the ones who must struggle so hard?

1 comment:

Kassi said...

C and I go through the same thing all the time. You are far from alone. Not that knowing this helps pay the bills. I know that as well. For our end, we feel 'stuck' here with no way of moving out of a not so great neighborhood and into a home of our own. I battle the ugly "J" word on a daily basis (jealousy). On the other hand, I also know that we (myself and my kids) have never experienced true poverty - except that one time when I was homeless for a bit...so alternately I am very thankful for the food, the roof, the electricity, and the friends that help make it possible when some months the cupboard is close to bare.

Just know that you are loved. And I am not referring to me. I am referring to your Father in Heaven (both of them)...and so you aren't alone and as long as you have friends loving you, praying for you...it will be okay. It has to be. Because if things come to a point...you always have a place to go.