Another Chapter Forward

Well tomorrow I start my new (second) part-time job at Dinner by Design. I'm looking forward to it. And yet, also have a small sense of dread in the fact that I will be losing many of my evenings with my family. But it's what has to happen, and at least I'll be at a company I think is pretty darn cool. Wish me luck!

Where am I?

I'm in...a place.

I just got back from a wonderful trip. My whole family is healthy & relatively happy. My Halloween party is next weekend. I should be over the moon happy. And yet...there is a funk.


I think part of it is simply stress. Too much to do in too little (or non-existant) time. Costumes to make, food to buy, decorations to make & put up...and now I'm starting a second part-time job. I think I'll like it well enough, but now my evening will be gone. We need the money, so I'm doing my part for my family, but time away from them...and yes, even time away just for me...is tearing me up inside. This week I had 1 1/2 days with my son. I had 2 evenings with my daughter. The husband...forget it. We haven't spent 10 minutes together since we got back from Mackinac.

Kim & I are attempting to plan a "How the Hell Did This Happen?" Girls Getaway weekend for the impending & looming like a vulture over our facing 40 carcasses. We want fun, pretty sites, self-indulgence Spa experiences, cocktails, who generally silliness. Any suggestions of where we can go that won't cost a fortune & is within 10 hours drive time of the midwest?


So, like a rolling fog off the moors...the funk has set in.

Mackinac Island, how I love ya

There is oh so much I could say about the weekend on Mackinac Island, but then Kassi said it all so well over here. Instead, I offer up a photo montage today.

And yes, the last picture, for those who will get it, is in fact "Escanaba in da Moonlight" (haha)

Island O'Guilt

Between being raised Catholic, growing up in a Jewish community, and being a mom, I have my own overload of guilt all the time. This week is no exception.

Hubby & I are heading out for a weekend away, leaving the kids with friends & grandparents. Sure, they'll have a great time probably (hopefully) but I still feel guilty.

On the upside, we're joining some dear friends at Mackinac Island! In 48 hours I'll be eating fudge, horseback riding, and probably freezing my booty off (but that's ok, I have plenty of booty to spare). I can't wait! I knew there are a few people who occasionally read my words here, and if you've never heard of Mackinac Island, let me tell you a little about it.

It's located in that little spot between Michigan's upper and lower peninsulas, and is only accessible by ferry boat. The island has been maintained as it was during the Victorian age, meaning NO cars of any type. Only horse drawn carriage & bicycles. It's simply lovely, and famous for it's fudge. (yum!) All the fall leaves are peaking with their colours up there right now too. We'll be stopping on our drive there at a winery I found & some of the falls in the U.P.

I hope it's fun!

Is there a TOO far?

How far is too far when it comes to your kids? Is there a jumping off point in making sure your kids are safe? How about when it comes to educating them? I think those are simple answers, in that most parents would do most anything self-sacificing to further their children's intellect and safety. But what about their wants & needs? Is there a too far then? Parent Bloggers has proposed the question...what are your thoughts?

I have to say I am not the sort of parent who will sacrifice anything for my kids wants. Toys, clothing trends, video games, those things come & go. I made a rule when my daughter was born that I would never purchase a video game system for her. If someone gave her one, I wouldn't return it, but I would never buy one for her. Why? Because I'm the meanest mom on the planet! No, not really. It's because I truly believe that kids are losing their sense of imagination & attention spans because of computer & video games. Sure they are good with eye-hand coordination, but kids can't sit still for 10 minutes nor can they just run around outside using their imagination...all because most parents allow their kids to do nothing but play those things. (That said, my daughter does have 2 Gameboys and a Gamecube...all given to her by someone else.) And fashion trends, forget it! I refuse to spend $80 on a pair of shoes that will be outgrown in 6 months. A good knock off will serve the same purpose IF absolutely necessary. I try to encourage my daughter to have her own style instead. (And believe me, she does!)

But how far am I willing to go for my kids' needs? I don't know that I have a limit there. I've had some bad times, have gone without food for a day or two, have slept on couches and in my car (only once), have worn the same clothes for years...but my children have never had to suffer those same fates. I made sure the kidlet never knew the dire straits we were in, always had food, good clothes, toys, and love. LOTS of love.

There is no question to me that needs are limitless. Wants are arbitrary.
How far would you go for your kids?

Off Target Randomness

Surely I am not the only mom on the planet who has this happen to them. You go to the store, you spend a stupid amount of time picking out groceries, all the while dealing with idiots who can't seem to drive a shopping cart let alone a car (or usually an SUV), spending ridiculous amounts of cash, only to find a day or two later when you go to get something out of the 'fridge or cupboard that YOU really want to take for lunch, that someone else...everyone else...had already taken it/eaten it! I did all the work! I WANT my treat, dang it! The sacrifice of a mother & wife is endless.

Am I the only person on the planet who simply LOATHES that damn "Big Girls Don't Cry" song by Fergie? "...I miss you like a child misses its blanket..." what the hell kind of lyrics are those?And why does she get to call herself Fergie? She should at least have to be be Fergie Take 2 or something. And "Her Eyes" by Pat Monahan from Train...what a crapass song that is! And what's with Hinder's song about longing for some other chick when his girlfriend/wife is in the next room. Ass, I tell ya, ass.

Someone needs to do something about this president of ours. NOW. Vetoing child health care. And still no funding to education. Idiot needs to go bye-bye. Please.

I warned you this would be random.

Help Wanted

Are you looking for a new career?!?!
Do you want to work in a casual work environment with friendly people?!?!
We're currently hiring the following full-time positions:
Chef Must be willing to ominipotently know what anyone wants on any given day. Duties will include breakfast, packing lunches, dinner and two snacks, keeping kitchen anally retentively clean, putting away dishes in the dishwasher due to the employer's irritation at having to do this task. Baby bottles must continually be clean & prepped.
Housekeeper Duties to include scrubbing, dusting, sweeping including baseboards, cobwebs, mopping, making all beds, organizing offices, scrubbing toilets, stocking cupboards with stupid necessities like tampons or toilet paper when empty.
Laundress Duties will include at least one load every other day. Must be willing to wash the employer's very few work shirts on demand whenever they are soiled by spit up. Stain removal skills are a plus.
Accountant Must be willing to explain every single purchase made and explain reason for going over the grocery budget. Duties will also include reconciling the checkbook, making budget, paying bills, and filing tax returns. Ability to make money stretch further required.
Errand Boy This is a very important position. Must be willing to run to the grocery store without notice, take vehicles for scheduled maintenances, and any other piddly errands as deemed URGENT! AND NECESSARY! by employer. Hot, muscular body, bedroom eyes and a dashing smile a plus! Shirt NOT required.
Lawn Boy Must have extensive knowledge in flowers, shrubs, and grasses and the ability to make things grow in sandy, nutrient-depleted soil. Again, a hot, muscular body, bedroom eyes and a dashing smile are a DEFINITE plus! Shirt is also NOT required.
Scientist specializing in cloning Must have the ability to clone the employer so that she can be relieved of some of her duties and have time for herself too. Clone will be responsible for making doctor's appointments, remembering birthdays & sending cards to all friends and extended family, making certain the diaper bag actually contains, you know, diapers.

Salary is very competitive and commensurate with what the finest SAHM's are being paid!!!!Apply today!!!!

Feeling better now. I don't know what it was, but now I'm fine. Well, tired...but fine. I feel like my days all sort of blend into one. I'm always busy, but with nothing really worth mentioning. Its a continually spinning wheel with random flashes of interesting things passing by. The routine that becomes life...and you find yourself just sort of wondering where time went.

Oh well. Life isn't bad...it's just rather...routine.

Kidlet started her theatre program. I'm glad she'll have a chance to make friends with similar interests. The kids at her school just don't "get" her, her interests, or her experiences. I'm hoping this will be good for her on many levels.

The baby is crawling! He's so funny! It's really more of an army crawl than an up on his hands & knees crawl, but it doesn't slow him down. He's sooo proud of himself! And he has a tooth! (my little Jack-o-lantern) Again, time just flying by.

Unexplained

Today was a nice day, bright & sunny & warm. We went to the Harvest Fest, which wasn't nearly as good as it was last year, but we did buy some pumpkins & gourds & peppers & leeks. We walked around, and just spent time together. Then we had dinner with Rick & Brian, and it was good.

And yet I'm feeling blue. I can't find the words or the reasons, it just is. It's a state of sadness. A state of missing my mom. A state of feeling for those people who have lost someone special to them. A state of uneasy restlessness inside my heart. I don't know what's causing it...but that's where I am right now. Hopefully it'll be gone by morning.

Inspired

Today I'm feeling particularly inspired by the beginning of autumn.

I can't imagine living someplace that doesn't have that significant change in seasons, and particularly the joy that is the fall. I'm not a nature girl by any stretch of the imagination, and could never live much outside of a city, but every fall I can't help but yearn to be outside. The crispness of the air, the cool breezes, the lushness of color...it inspires me to bake, to paint, to explore. It is the only time of the year you will ever find me wanting to go hiking. (Of course the lack of mosquitos helps!) I want to draw & paint & photograph today (and sadly can't because I'm stuck at work...a museum that is offering TWO nature landscape drawing classes today, ironically).

I'm anxiously anticipating hubby & my upcoming trip to Mackinac Island with our friends in two weeks. The fall colors should be almost peaking up there then, and I can promise you I will be posting a plethora of photos afterwards.

Obsession

I realize that I have these wierd quirks and OC randomness. I tend to get excited about something and then become almost wierdly obsessive about it. Sometimes its been Colin Firth, where I've had to rent every movie of his. Another time it was Disney. Right now I find I'm obsessing about:
Doctor Who (David Tennant in particular)

Swap-bot (it really IS addictive)

and Mackinac Island Do you have anything you just can't help but feeling "obsessed" about?

A Collective Kick in the Arse

Today I read these words:
"What is the one thing you've always wanted to do in your lifetime? And when are you going to get around to just doing it?"

Hmmm...I consider my butt soundly kicked.

The Call of the Footlights, the Roar of the Crowd

Kidlet auditioned for the Racine Theatre Guild last week. They have a special program for teens...it's an extensive theatre training program that cumulates with performances in the spring at various schools. It is highly competitive to get into, apparently, and we were warned that unless you've been around the theatre it is tough to get into.

Well, wouldn't you know it...she got in!

Yes, I'm very proud! So despite not getting the art and drama classes she wanted this year in school, she is now in a great drama program & is also taking some art classes at the museum where I work. (Animation & pottery, I think, for the fall session.) So for now she has ambitions of being the next Idina Menzel...and that's awesome!

Don't Say a Word

I'm facing a horrible reality. Next year I will turn 40. 4. 0. This is hell. In my mind I'm still 25. Not too old, not too young. But the reality is...well...40.

And I'm NOT ok with it.

I have a couple of other friends facing this same "milestone". Consider this a call to arms...if you are also looking 40 in the face, let's do something about it. Let's plan a bash. Something for us. US. Perhaps a trip away together? Toronto? New Orleans? Istanbul? Let me know your thoughts. I'm thinking May.I can NOT face this alone!

Be Sparkly!

Some of you may remember when I wrote about Hannah a month or more ago with this link. Well, I have devotedly read Hannah's mother's blog ever since. I've read as she has moved through the pain of losing her lovely 5 year old in this tragic accident. I have been inspired by her celebration of her daughter's short little life, and her younger daughter, Lily's, delightfullness, as well.
Tomorrow would have been Hannah's sixth birthday. Her mother is asking everyone to join them in celebrating her vibrant, sparkly nature by dressing bright & fun tomorrow. Wear the sparkliest earrings, necklace, shirt, shoes or scarf you have. Heck, wear a feather boa! This dear child, as well as all of our children, need to be celebrated for the beauty & innocence and joy they bring to this world. They touch the lives of so many more than they will ever know because of their sparkly nature.
You can read more about Hannah & her family here.
I hope you'll join me in celebrating her life & the lives of our children, as well.