Smiles

My kids crack me up.  Here we have, from Halloween, Miss Tinkerbell & Master Skywalker disguised as a Storm Trooper & Darth Vader.  They never cease to make me laugh.  I really do cherish them.
My other kidlet received her first college acceptance!  Where did time go?

Toddler Tantrum

Right now we are firmly entrenched in the horror that is the Terrible Twos.
Now, I haven't a clue of why they refer to it as that, as it always seems to surface just before the age of three.  All I DO know is that I'm at the end of my rope with this adorable, precious, highly verbal, overly obstinate, pushing me to the edge toddler.
It's been a battle all week, fighting constantly with me, her brother, herself.  Miss Independent doesn't even cover it.  Add to it the 4 year old suddenly can't communicat ewithout whining or being afraid of EVERYTHING (his bed, the potty, his sister, the outside, the inside, his shoes, dinner, a boo)k...everything is seems EXCEPT ghosts! (He has this odd interesting in Ghost Hunters TV show, which he says he loves & is NOT scary.)
I'm just praying the Teen years are a piece of cake.
Yeah, I can dream.

I'll wave a rainbow flag if I must...

This article is amazing.
http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/
I've often said, my son may be gay. Or bi. Or not.
I don't care.
He's amazing & I'll love him. Always.
And he should be able to marry whomever he chooses. Male or Female.

A Mother's Nightmare

I read this through "Life with Hannah & Lily" whom I've had a link to on my sidebar here for several years now. I am passing along this story in the hope that someone, somewhere can help this poor mother who is suffering the hell of having her own beautiful son be kidnapped by his father to another country. I cannot imagine it. I do not want to. I can only pray for this mother & her son to be reunited quickly. Look at the picture...that's Sara & her son. Please, if you know anyone who might know anyone who can help, please take a moment to pass this story on as well, thanks.
I have pasted this from the original post at Bailey's Leaf.


A friend of all of us at the gallery, Sara, is in the fight of her life to have her son returned to her. Her son was born in January 2008 in State College, Pennsylvania, USA. He is a U.S. citizen.

From the "Bring Abdullah Home" flier:


Abdullah Eli is a victim of Parental Child Abduction.

Abdullah Eli has been "deceptively removed from Ohio on March 4, 2010. [The father] deceived [Sara] into providing consent to travel outside of the United States on the written promise that Abdullah would be returned to his home in Ohio on May 4, 2010. Abdullah is known to be unlawfully and wrongfully retained in the home of his paternal grandparents in . . . Turkey."

"Sara is now fighting for emergency custody of Abdullah through Ohio courts, and is filing an application with the U.S. State Department for the return of her son through the Hague Abduction Convention, which is the primary civil law mechanism for parents seeking the return of children from other treaty partner countries. Additionally, Sara is fighting to have overturned the hasty and unlawful custody ruling which granted [the father] full custody of Abdullah on March 19, 2010- only 13 days after [their] arrival in Turkey."

Sara is reaching out to everyone who might be able to help bring Abdullah back home. If you or anyone you know are well-versed in situations such as these, please feel free to contact her at saradwrds at g mail dot com.

Please feel free to pull the permalink and to post to your page(s). The more that people hear of Sara's story, the more links we can have to people who may be able to help.

True Star Quality

Last night were the Academy Awards. I can usually take them or leave them (leaving them more often than not). I DO enjoying seeing what people are wearing, of course, as well as the awards for Best Makeup and Best Costuming. And last night Colin Firth was up for Best Actor (which he SO should have won!) so I tuned in. Sandra Bullock won for Best Actress. She's ok. I don't jump at the chance to see her movies, but they are usually pretty decent.

But last night she earned some big brownie points with me thanks to her acceptance speech. It was charming, funny, and sincere (unlike so many others who seems highly contrived). Most of all, she thanked moms. ALL moms, but indirectly those moms who have adopted children. As someone with one of those moms, I'm grateful & lucky.

She honored "all moms that take care of the babies and children, no matter where they come from". And her own mother for "reminding her own daughter's there's no race, no religion, no color, nothing, no sexual orientation, that makes us better than anyone else. We are all deserving of love."

You're a true star, Sandra!

Happy 3rd Birthday My Handsome!

My handsome son, Sebastian, turned 3 years old on Sunday!

He's hilarious & charming & makes me smile every single day. His gorgeous blue eyes make me melt.

And he's obsessed with Doctor Who. You know, the British tv show? Yeah, I have no doubt he'll be the next Doctor!

So, of course we HAD to give him a Doctor Who birthday party!

I had to be pretty creative since you can't find anything Doctor Who in the USA!
I think I did a pretty good job, though!

Tardis on the cake...Tardis doors on the french doors entering the living room & party...the illusion of the Tardis console for the food table...chocolate pretzel sonic screwdrivers..."sonic screwdriver" punch...posters & stickers...stars...and his favourite, his gifts!

He received his very own Sonic Screwdriver ("Mama, it really works!"), an Ood Sigma, a Clockwork Man, and a Dalek to go with his Doctor and Capt. Jack he'd gotten at Christmas!

He even has his own companion...his little sister, Darcy!

Happy Birthday Little Man!

16 Years

Today is my daughter,Kaitlyn's Sweet 16th birthday!
I can't believe that time has flown by so fast.
We struggle daily with our relationship lately, but I love her dearly.
I only want the best for her.
She gone from this little, adorable baby who did everything early...walking, talking, reading...to a sassy (sometime TOO sassy), funny young lady.
I wish I could just hold her in my arms & keep her away from the fears of the world, but she must fly. And fall. And hopefully gain strength and soar!

Happy Birthday Bunny!
Mama loves you, my 16 year old!

Maturity Sucks

I hate being the mature one.
I hate doing what makes sense.
I hate giving others what they need when it breaks my heart.
I hate that there I have to hurt and have my soul ripped apart just so others than have the chance to grow.

No one told me that motherhood would be so freakin' painful.
No one told me that children would hate you while you try desperately to show them you love them.
No one told me that as an adult I'd so desperately NEED my own parents to hold ME and tell ME it's all going to be ok.

And then to be all alone.

My daughter has chosen her father's home over mine.
I have 2 months left with her.
I hate this.

How to Let Go?

I'm being faced with a seriously painful dilemma. My teenager, whom I've both celebrated & ranted about here is thinking that she might want to go live with her father in Michigan. She's given me some rational reasons for it, and as an equally rational person I have to let her go, if that's what she wants. Her happiness & success is what matters most.

But heart is breaking. I feel like my soul is being ripped apart at the thought of it. I also feel angry. I do everything for her, take she & her friends everywhere. I try to expose her to everything so she'll be well rounded & smart. And it feels like her father will get to reap all the rewards of it.

Right now, I just can't stop the tears. She has to make the ultimate choice, and giving up that control REALLY hurts.

Trick AND Treat

Halloween night was a blast!

The kids were precious and had a ton of fun "Trick or treating".

And some friends came by to put on a Dead Parade and help me scare the pants off teens & adults! it was hilarious fun!

I think I can still hear the laughter & screaming.

I love Halloween!!

A Brick Wall

I do not know what to do with my teenage daughter anymore.
I love her, but I have so much anger toward her it takes all of my self-control and prayer to keep me from wanting to beat the crap out of her.
To the rest of the world she is sweet, kind, helpful.
To me she is rude, obnoxious, hateful, disobedient.
She won almost a full scholarship to her school (the best school around, I might add) because she scored higher than anyone else on her tests. She's been in the advanced gifted & talented programs since she was 4.
She's failing 2 classes, not because they are too hard, but because she's too lazy.
We've grounded her, taken away things, been nice, been angry, been rational...nothing matters to her. She's arrogant & pigheaded and if she doesn't want to do it, she won't. It doesn't matter to her that she is throwing away her whole future. She has the potential to be the #1 student in the school, and instead she's failing. By choice.
Last night was the last straw.
She called me an f-ing bitch all because we (God forbid) wanted her to shut up so Paul could help her with her math homework. (One of the classes she's failing.)
This escalated from there.
Today she started the morning with yet another fight.
I've called a child psychologist to please contact me.
I just don't know what to do anymore other than cry.
I do NOT want to ship her off to go live with her father, but part of me feels like maybe that's what she needs? I just don't know what to do anymore.

Sweet 16 plans

So I introduced my daughter to the coolness that is Steampunk, and she's hooked.

Now she wants her Sweet 16 party to be a Steampunk theme.

As her birthday falls just before Christmas, and since she's due to be wit her dad for that holiday this year, we have decided the best time for her party is to be New Year's Eve. Cool, eh? Well, we are going to invite our friends too (so those of you who read this, this is your warning...start planning now!)

Yes, it will be a costume party. STEAMPUNK.

What is it? Well, it's this cool sci-fi/literary cross over phenomenon in which fashion is Victorian influenced, but futuristic, in that the world progressed via the steam engine, NOT electronically. Atoms weren't discoverd. Einstein's theory doesn't exist. You're familiar with it already, you just don't realize it. Think "Around the World in 80 Days" or even the movie "Wild Wild West" (Will Smith/Kevin Kline).

The Kidlet Goes to her 1st Prom

My lovely daughter is 15 & a freshman at St. Catherine's High School. I can't believe she is growning up so quickly! This weekend was went to Prom (with a senior, no less!) and her best friend, Jazz, was set up with another senior boy. (She lives in another town, so this was REALLY a treat for the two of them to be able to go together! It probably won't happen when they are seniors, after all!) My little girls...so grown up!

Now, Prom is always a big deal, but here in Racine it is an even bigger deal. You see, ALL of the high schools have prom on the same night. The kids go to dinner (mine went to Shogun, the Japanese restaurant in town), then to their respective schools (most for the crowing of the Prom Kings & Queens), and then at a set time, each school arrives down at the Lake Michigan-front convention center for the Post-Prom (which really is the main event).

There are camera crews filming it all (so we can sit at home & watch them live!), news crews, it was even hosted this year by some VH1 celebrity! There are bleachers set up for people who want to see it up close & personal & cheer all the kids. And the kids typically try to out do each other with the sort of vehicle they arrive in. In the past there have been army tanks, vintage firetrucks, even an elephant! This year there were alot of Hummer stretch limos, various kinds of buses, and even a yacht! (My kids took a 'traditional' limo.) My personal favourite this year, however, was the couple who came in the Stormtrooper SUV -- driven by a stormtrooper, with 2 more hanging off the sides, AND Darth Vader walking in front! Brilliant! Inside the Post Prom they had 3 different DJs for dancing, an inflatable labryinth, American Gladiator-style "jousting", Guitar Hero on giant wall TVs, karaoke, and more!

Then they spent Sunday together at Gurnee Mills mall, where they could eat at Rainforest Cafe', play lazer tag, ice skate, etc. She's growing up but what a great weekend!

Growing Up

This seems to be the week for my children to move onto a new stage in their lives all at once.

Little Miss not only learned to crawl forward last week, but this week she quickly moved onto pulling herself up on the furniture. AND she said her first word. Papa. She says it anytime my hubby walks into the room. (Yes, the kids call their rather papa rather than daddy. It was something he wanted, even though it 'traditionally' is used for grandfathers.)

Bug has been adding more & more words to his vocabulary every day, but his big development was the moved to a Big Boy Bed. No more crib for him! We transititioned it, and so far he hasn't gotten out of it even once!

Kidlet has Prom tomorrow. Yes, as a freshman she was asked by a senior friend to go with him. As it turned out, another friend didn't have a date, so she set him up with her best friend, Jazz (who lives in another town, actually) so both of the girls are going! It's been exciting doing all the prep with her, and I know she is going to look beautiful tomorrow as she leaves in the limosine with 5 of her friends to the "event of the year". (Which, in our city is REALLY the event...they even made a movie about Racine's Prom!)

And so they grow. And yet, I am the one who feels each step of their aging.

Stranger Sorrow

Why is it that we will sometimes feel an overwheming emotion when we hear about someone we don't even know suffering a great tragedy or success? Is it just a part of who we are as humans to become empathetic?

Natasha Richardson's recent death has touched me very deeply, and I was thinking about why that is. Perhaps it's because I liked her as an actress, as well as her (oh so handsome) husband, Liam Neeson? Perhaps it's because she was only 45 years old and has two teenage sons? Or maybe it's because of the simple tragedy of her death? Never mind the fact that whenever I hear about it all I can see in my mind is Liam Neeson in "Love Actually" when his character loses his wife.

I think it has made me see my own mortality. That has become my greatest fear...dying too young, dying before I get to share in my children's lives. I suddenly woke up to realize my age & fear took hold. Am I alone in this?

Can You Hear the People Sing?

This week is the opening of kidlet's school musical "Les Miserables". I was roped into helping with costumes, and after previewing last night's rehearsal, I have to same, I'm impressed! Some of the kids really do have amazing voices. The orchestra = phenomenal. (Seriously, it was like listening to the soundtrack.) And the costumes...well, what can I say? For a high school that consisted entirely of adapting modern pieces to making them look period appropriate, I had to pat myself on the back, they looked pretty darn awesome! I was proud of the kidlet as she really knows how to react & throw focus on stage (something many of her classmates could take a lesson from). As with almost ANY production there are always choices that are made that I have opinions about. (Mostly I hate front of curtain staging...there is nothing worse to me than seeing someone who just died on stage get up on the not-dark-enough stage & walk off...and in Les Miz almost EVERYONE dies!) I'm looking forward to seeing the opening night on Thursday when all those technical kinks are worked out. Sometimes I regret not becoming a high school drama teacher...and then I think of the time commitment and am glad to just be an involved parent.

My baby...a young lady

How did this happen? My little girl turned 15 yesterday. It seems that only a moment ago she was my little girl with the long, long hair. Now, she's a young lady. It make me sad. Sad that I can't cuddle her like I once could. Sad that I don't "play" with her like I once could. Sad that in another blink she'll be off to college, and then a life of her own. And I'll miss her. And I'll forget all the fights & mouthiness. I'll miss the hugs that I am guilty of occassionally shrug off because I'm too busy. And my baby will be grown & I'll instead wonder when I'll see her again. I guess I'd better cherish these next few years before she's flown the coop onto her own life. At least for now I can be content to know she loved her Batman cake.

Livin' on caffeine...new & improved with Updates!

This week my in-laws have been off vacationing & hopefully having a great time...they are essentially taking a tour around Lake Michigan, up to Mackinac Island and eventually taking the high speed ferry back from Grand Rapids to Milwaukee. (Color me jealous) But having them away has meant having to figure out juggling work & babies. Thank God for my older kidlet who has babysat The Bug, while I've taken the Little Lady to work with me. Yeah...believe me its freakin' hard to get work done with a baby who just wants to be held, fed, changed,etc. I am appreciating my in-laws more & more every day and anxious for them to come back so I can actually get work done at work.

However, I've tried to squeeze in some fun along the way. Last weekend we went to one of the parks, picnicked & played at the playground. We went to see the Sand Castles competition at the beachfront, too. (Not alot of competitors, but fun to see nonetheless.) On Monday I took the little ones to the Racine Zoo. The lions & merkats were definately our favourites. (I forgot my camera AND my cell phone, so no photos this time.) No...we weren't eaten by bears, or tigers, or anything equally entertaining. Sorry.

Boys are Dumb

Yesterday I had to experience something new, and I'm not pleased about it.

When you go through a break up its painful & you can yell & scream. When a friend goes through a break up you feel their pain & let them yell & scream and offer some jokes & gin. But when your 14-year-old daughter has to experience her first break up you want to hold her tight and keep her from growing up anymore so she never has to experience it ever again.

Her "perfect" boyfriend (I say that because up until now I thought he was, and always said I couldn't have handpicked a better boyfriend for her) broke up with her...and in typical dumb boy timing...2 days before their one year anniversary of dating. (At least now she doesn't have to get him a gift, right?) Now, you must understand that only the day before he was saying how he was going to take her out to dinner & a movie. (GRRRR, says mama lion protecting her cub.) He wants to stay friends, and amazingly so does she. So why do I want her to yell & scream & make HIM feel bad? (Personally I think her best revenge is making everyone like her at school and do really great in all her classes so everyone talks about her and he realizes he dumped a great girl. )

So I did what a mama could do and declared "Girls Night!" and made Paul stay home with the little ones while I took the kidlet out to see "Mama Mia!" (the perfect mother-daughter movie, by the by...wonderful & hilarious & you can't help but sing along) and then out for extra large ice cream treats. I think she felt better by the end of the night.

I just hate that some boy hurt my baby, ya know? Boys are dumb.

Lady Bug

It's blurry (damn camera phones) but this is my new little Lady this morning. She's so cute!

(I just noticed how chubby her cheeks are...and how much like my face shape she has. Poor baby lookin' like her mama. Funny how chubby her face is because her body is teeney tiny.)