I'll wave a rainbow flag if I must...

This article is amazing.
http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/
I've often said, my son may be gay. Or bi. Or not.
I don't care.
He's amazing & I'll love him. Always.
And he should be able to marry whomever he chooses. Male or Female.

16 Years

Today is my daughter,Kaitlyn's Sweet 16th birthday!
I can't believe that time has flown by so fast.
We struggle daily with our relationship lately, but I love her dearly.
I only want the best for her.
She gone from this little, adorable baby who did everything early...walking, talking, reading...to a sassy (sometime TOO sassy), funny young lady.
I wish I could just hold her in my arms & keep her away from the fears of the world, but she must fly. And fall. And hopefully gain strength and soar!

Happy Birthday Bunny!
Mama loves you, my 16 year old!

I'd say "I Do" all over again

Today my wonderful husband, Paul, and I are celebrating our 4 year anniversary.

It was an unseasonably warm November day spent with friends family and much joy.

Today is an gorgeous day, too...and I think I love him even more!

Happy Anniversary honey! I'd marry you all over again...especcially if we could go on the 2 week honeymoon to England & Wales again right now!!! ;-)

How to Let Go?

I'm being faced with a seriously painful dilemma. My teenager, whom I've both celebrated & ranted about here is thinking that she might want to go live with her father in Michigan. She's given me some rational reasons for it, and as an equally rational person I have to let her go, if that's what she wants. Her happiness & success is what matters most.

But heart is breaking. I feel like my soul is being ripped apart at the thought of it. I also feel angry. I do everything for her, take she & her friends everywhere. I try to expose her to everything so she'll be well rounded & smart. And it feels like her father will get to reap all the rewards of it.

Right now, I just can't stop the tears. She has to make the ultimate choice, and giving up that control REALLY hurts.

Stranger Sorrow

Why is it that we will sometimes feel an overwheming emotion when we hear about someone we don't even know suffering a great tragedy or success? Is it just a part of who we are as humans to become empathetic?

Natasha Richardson's recent death has touched me very deeply, and I was thinking about why that is. Perhaps it's because I liked her as an actress, as well as her (oh so handsome) husband, Liam Neeson? Perhaps it's because she was only 45 years old and has two teenage sons? Or maybe it's because of the simple tragedy of her death? Never mind the fact that whenever I hear about it all I can see in my mind is Liam Neeson in "Love Actually" when his character loses his wife.

I think it has made me see my own mortality. That has become my greatest fear...dying too young, dying before I get to share in my children's lives. I suddenly woke up to realize my age & fear took hold. Am I alone in this?

My baby...a young lady

How did this happen? My little girl turned 15 yesterday. It seems that only a moment ago she was my little girl with the long, long hair. Now, she's a young lady. It make me sad. Sad that I can't cuddle her like I once could. Sad that I don't "play" with her like I once could. Sad that in another blink she'll be off to college, and then a life of her own. And I'll miss her. And I'll forget all the fights & mouthiness. I'll miss the hugs that I am guilty of occassionally shrug off because I'm too busy. And my baby will be grown & I'll instead wonder when I'll see her again. I guess I'd better cherish these next few years before she's flown the coop onto her own life. At least for now I can be content to know she loved her Batman cake.

Welcome to the World Little Girl!

So, when I went to my doctor's check up on Monday, I certainly never thought I'd be giving birth to a 7 lb. 4 oz. baby girl the next day! Darcy Anne was born at 2:22pm Tuesday and she's a precious little bundle with lots of thick, dark hairs.

We've been at the hospital all week, and its been emotionally exhausting. All in all she's doing well considering she has been born a month early, but it hasn't come without some difficulties to be honest. She has had a hard time with eating & billiruibin levels, etc. So, while things are getting better with each and every feeding, its VERY slow going. Too slow, in fact, to take her home with me when I'm released today. Let me tell ya, this is killing me. The thought of not being with her here, and not having her with us there...this is excrutiating. I love her and want her sweet innocent little self to not have to be alone. Or working so very hard. So what do I do?

The hospital is good enough to let me hang out as much as I need/want. But part of me also knows I should spend some time with Sebastian at home. I just don't know what to do. And maybe I'm only thinking too highly of myself to believe that Darcy actually knows when mama is nearby and does better when I am?

So yes I'm a little achey, but my heart is achey more.

Captain Jack...Kookaburra?

"Kookaburra drinks rum in the old red tree, Marry Marry me says he, Laugh Kookaburra, laugh Kookaburra or else you'll turn out gay..."
"What are you singing to the baby?"
"That Kookaburra song."
"You do know those aren't the lyrics right?"
"uh...no...?"

Yeah, my husband isn't the most musically inclined.

2 years

Yesterday was Paul & my 2 year wedding anniversary.

We celebrated in a sort of round about way.

Saturday we went to Abby & Aaron's wedding. This was lovely, and since they actually met at OUR wedding, it was particularly special.

Sunday we went to the Festival of Trees here in town, which was nice, and then out to dinner at Little Europe (mmm...Saurbraten & spaetzel & dumplings).

The actual day of our anniversary I made Shrimp Scampi Newport & we watched the final 2 episodes of Doctor Who (season 2). Yeah...not romantic. Not exciting. I'm a little sad about that, but at least we were together & that's what counts.

I still love him.

Treasure

Read this. Then immediately run to your children & hug them. Hard.

Ok, I can't just let this go, I need to make a comment. This is beyond tragic. However, as someone who grew up on a lake I think it is so very important to realize water is greater than us. I should be respected, but not feared. No one, adults or children, should EVER swim alone...and by that I mean if you're in the water, someone else had better be IN the water too, not just on the shore. No one should ever experience this.

What Makes You a Mom?

**You too can be a part of the celebration of motherhood over at ParentBloggers today. Check out the fun, and then pop over to Light Iris who has some fabulousness you'll definately want to see.**
I am a mom because I have spent hours holding a baby so he’ll sleep while I go without. I am mom because I have spit up in my hair and on my shirt and I don’t mind. I am mom because I have spent hours holding back my daughter’s long hair while she puked. I am mom because my son has marked his territory…repeatedly…by peeing on me while changing countless diapers. I am mom because I have defended my child to teachers and bullies. I am mom because I hug my children when they’re good and reprimand then when they’re not. I am mom because I’ve survived insufferable heartburn through pregnancy and have the C-section scars & stretch marks to prove it. I am mom because I my clothes are from last season’s clearance rack while my kids’ are brand-spankin’ new. I am mom because my teenager can show me how to use any electronic device moments after purchase. I am mom because I could recite all of the words to countless children’s storybooks by heart. I am mom because I’ve been wounded by the words “You’re the meanest mom in the world” and have sometimes worn that title as a badge of honour. I am mom because I proudly film my child’s school shows with the video camera. I am mom because I play them back with pride. I am mom because I take my children to museums, historical villages and the theatre, as well as to Chuck E. Cheese and the waterparks. I am mom because I’ve served my children Mac ‘n Cheese with Kool-Aid for lunch, but Filet Mignon & asparagus for dinner. I am mom because I’ve ran along side a bike without training wheels. I am mom because my son will know how to cook & clean a toilet. I am mom because my daughter will know how to change a tire on a car and use a drill. I am mom because I’ve gone without food so my child would have something to eat. I am mom because when I hear of a child being shot or molested, I hold my children tight and then teach them how to be aware of the evils of the world. I am mom because I encourage my children to succeed, but let them know that sometimes we all fail. I am mom because I’ve taught my children to love.

Lovey

Happy Valentine's Day my friends!

Whether you have a love to share it with, or simply need to indulge yourself, have a GREAT Valentine's Day! May your day have richness (mmm...chocolate), beauty (flowers or jewelry), and love (particularly for yourself)!

My night will probably consist of having a heart-shaped pizza with the family and, if I'm really lucky, playing a game with them. However, the ex is actually coming to our side of the lake this weekend to pick up the kidlet & spend the weekend in Chicago with her, so hubby & I will probably celebrate Valentine's and our last weekend before baby arrives then.