A New Year

I've been highly remiss about writing, but life has been busy & hectic & quite frankly, I just haven't felt like writing anything. I will attempt to get back to it. To try to make it a part of my week again. I need to...for me. For my own memories.

So. Thanksgiving & Christmas have come & gone. Both were delightful, actually. Kaitlyn came home for Thanksgiving, which was a whirlwind weekend spent sewing her a new Steampunk costume that I'd promised her LAST year. (It's very cool!) She left, and then I had Tabitha's bachelorette party, wedding (wonderful!), and Kaitlyn was back again! She & I went to Las Vegas where we celebrated her 17th birthday. 17!!! When did that happen? My baby is no baby! And we had a blast!!! I will attempt to write a "review" next, but let me just say Vegas offers way more than expected! We returned the night before Christmas Eve, and the holiday was wonderful! The kids are hilarious & made me smile! The week after Christmas was slightly hectic only in that I had to work a few days & Paul had to work 2 jobs EVERY day! So by the time New Year's Eve rolled around, it was quiet. Only Jazz & Matt came over, but that was good. I made a nice dinner; Kaitlyn made 2 amazing desserts & we played some Wii games thanks to Matt.

Today Sebastian started preschool at the APL School in Franklin! My little boys was so excited! I can't believe it.

So here we are. 2011. Wow!

Grey and overcast

My life is very much like the weather lately. I have little to be happy or sunshiney about. I know I should have posted a Happy 5 year anniversary post about marriage & my husband, but I neither had the time or inclination.

I'm NOT happy, especially with him right now. I'm tired. I'm bored. I'm boring. I'm lonely. And feeling like he couldn't care less about me.

He thinks by sitting on the couch & watching a show, that's romance. He thinks by paying bills he's showing me he loves me. He believes kissing is foreplay. He doesn't get it. Or me anymore.

We used to have a bubble around us, where the whole world could fall away. We could laugh & talk about anything. Now, nothing...and no effort.

I hate living in a world of cold & grey.

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catch-22

Feeling like I'm in a hamster wheel...always running, but getting no where, and with no one.

My husband is working 2 jobs. All.the.time. and I'm perceived as the ungrateful bitch of a wife because how dare I complain that I can't ever get anything done. I mean, so what that I work and take care of the kids, cook the meals, and oh, just might need some alone time to do what? Oh, grocery shop!

Clearly I'm just an unreasonable bitch. Sorry about that. Oh, let's add in that I've had a cold for two weeks I can't get rid of, probably because I haven't had a full nights sleep in months, with even less this week than "normal". (5 hours in 3 nights.)
Oh, and that Halloween party we have every year? Yeah, you just go ahead & work...clearly I'll do everything by myself! Oh, I have to work that day too? I guess I'll be the one dealing with the babysitter issue, the cooking, the decorating, getting myself costumed with historically accurate hair & makeup, and having guests arrive in the 5 hours "free".

But I'm an ungrateful bitch who doesn't understand that he's working. Yeah.

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Rollercoasters...and not the fun kind

I keep trying to stay up, but something keeps pushing me down.
Today my down is my husband.
He's really making me feel like I mean nothing to him.
That I'm a commitment that can't be broken, not something he cherishes.
I hate venting about certain things here, but it is what it is.
I'm not like some bloggers who air all their laundry for the sake of readership & a joke. I'm a journal blogger. This is my space where I choose to be public.
And today I'm upset.

Mom

Happy Mother's Day to moms everywhere today!
My own beautiful mom is in a nursing home in FL, far away and I'm not able to talk to hear, sadly. But my mom is amazing. She was an only child, growing up in a high rise in Chicago. She was a professional figure skater for Sonja Henie. She was a talented dancer. She was stunningly beautiful. And funny. And could play the piano by ear. And has these long, graceful fingers with nails she's had professional done every other week. She was super blonde with blue eyes. And petite. VERY petite. I don't think she ever weighed more than 112 lbs. at her very heaviest. And only 5' tall and used to wear spike heels every day...and it was hard to keep up with her. She loved to shop. She liked to play Euchre with her close friends Jeanie & Ray. She and my dad deeply loved one another. She made the best stuffing in the world. She loved coffee and ice cream and Fannie May orange peel candy. She and I would sit up at night in bed when I was little, eating popcorn & watching Johnny Carson even though it was way past my bed time.
and I miss her.
and I love her.
Happy Mother's Day Mom. I wish I could hug you "my little mama".

Happy 3rd Birthday My Handsome!

My handsome son, Sebastian, turned 3 years old on Sunday!

He's hilarious & charming & makes me smile every single day. His gorgeous blue eyes make me melt.

And he's obsessed with Doctor Who. You know, the British tv show? Yeah, I have no doubt he'll be the next Doctor!

So, of course we HAD to give him a Doctor Who birthday party!

I had to be pretty creative since you can't find anything Doctor Who in the USA!
I think I did a pretty good job, though!

Tardis on the cake...Tardis doors on the french doors entering the living room & party...the illusion of the Tardis console for the food table...chocolate pretzel sonic screwdrivers..."sonic screwdriver" punch...posters & stickers...stars...and his favourite, his gifts!

He received his very own Sonic Screwdriver ("Mama, it really works!"), an Ood Sigma, a Clockwork Man, and a Dalek to go with his Doctor and Capt. Jack he'd gotten at Christmas!

He even has his own companion...his little sister, Darcy!

Happy Birthday Little Man!

I'd say "I Do" all over again

Today my wonderful husband, Paul, and I are celebrating our 4 year anniversary.

It was an unseasonably warm November day spent with friends family and much joy.

Today is an gorgeous day, too...and I think I love him even more!

Happy Anniversary honey! I'd marry you all over again...especcially if we could go on the 2 week honeymoon to England & Wales again right now!!! ;-)

Friends, Fall and Fun

This past weekend we visited friend in southwestern Michigan for a lovely autumn weekend away.

Friday the teenagers (they have 2, we have 1) babysat the toddlers (they have 1, we have 2) while the adults had a delicious dinner & movie night. Let me say, tableside guacamole can't be beat! The new version of "FAME" however left alot to be desired. I will say more about this later in another post.

Saturday we went out to Windmill Island in Holland. It was lovely, peaceful, and really did give you a sense of being in the Netherlands. The little boys needed to nap, so Kaitlyn & Alex stayed home while the rest of us wandered downtown Holland.

Sunday all of us headed out to a cider mill/orchards for typical Autumn day of apple picking, hayrides, raspberry picking, and general fun. It was a delightful day!

In Bloom

Why am I a full week behind on posting anything? Ugh...life.

Ok, this is just a photo-filled post of pics I took last week at the Chicago Botanical Gardens.

Enjoy...let me know what is your favourite!

The wave subsides

Well, my anger has subsided, and I am actually grateful that my husband, though a brat many times, does actually listen. I'm being treated to a delightful Mother's Day gift (which I cannot reveal just yet)!

Now, if only the teenager would listen so well.

Boys are Dumb

Today I'm angry. I know, it seems to be my constant state this week. My anger today is directed at my eldest daughter who is failing a class. This is the girl who won scholarships based on having the highest scores of everyone in her class. She has all As in every other class. But she doesn't care about math & therefore is failing Geometry. I want to actually ring her lying, mouthy neck. I'm so freakin' fed up!
The other source of my anger today is my husband. The selfish man whom I married. Why oh why are ALL of them are selfish little boys who put themselves first? Why dont' they get that we moms & wives sacrifices ourselves constantly & they just do whatever they want, whetheror not it means WE get sleep, credit, stay healthy or have a braincell of any use left in our stressed out heads?
I hate them all today.

My baby...a young lady

How did this happen? My little girl turned 15 yesterday. It seems that only a moment ago she was my little girl with the long, long hair. Now, she's a young lady. It make me sad. Sad that I can't cuddle her like I once could. Sad that I don't "play" with her like I once could. Sad that in another blink she'll be off to college, and then a life of her own. And I'll miss her. And I'll forget all the fights & mouthiness. I'll miss the hugs that I am guilty of occassionally shrug off because I'm too busy. And my baby will be grown & I'll instead wonder when I'll see her again. I guess I'd better cherish these next few years before she's flown the coop onto her own life. At least for now I can be content to know she loved her Batman cake.

Weekend for my Girlies

Last weekend was a bit hectic...it was Darcy's Baptism AND Kaitlyn's Homecoming. Fortunately we were able to juggle everything. Kim Weber is now Darcy's Godmother, and Geoff (Paul's brother) is her Godfather...brilliant influences on her future, I think!

Here she is looking cute. (And her mohawk is natural, we don't do anything to make it stand up like that! And I didn't notice before now that she's flipping me off...like I said, Kim & Geoff's influence I'm' sure!)

And big brother, Sebastian, in his cute suit I bought him. (I'm a sucker for boys in short pants, what can I say? It's that English schoolboy thing!)

And big sis, Kaitlyn, looking WAY too grown up & lovely for the Homecoming Dance. Her date (Billy, a senior, no less) gave her the prettiest corsage...and totally her! It had pink roses with mini-carnations dyed black! And instead of the typical piece of elastic most wrist corsages have, it had a cool 4 band black beaded bracelet instead. Yeah, he got big points for that...and for taking her to dinner at Shogun, the Japanese restaurant in town!

And here we are, the whole family. (If only I was as good looking as the rest of my family!)

It was really great to have Kim here! And we did an evening at Great America riding coasters. It was fun...but no Cedar Point!

Where I've Been

Ok, so I've been a bit AWOL lately but I can barely find time to check email...or waste time on Facebook, so you actually expect me to write a semi-coherent post here? HA! I think I need to get back to doing something like the Thursday 13 just so I can force myself to post with regularity. Since I think I know everyone who actually read this, we should come up with something like that between ourselves. That way we'd all be forced to post at least once a week. Whatcha think??

Ok...so what have I been doing? First fun thing...Brian's Birthday at the Tony Bennett concert at this great outdoor concert venue in the Northshore. It was so fun to see all these people picnicking...with candleabras & flower arrangements! la di da!

This is the birthday boy himself...lovin' the gift we all chipped in to get him, this fabulous carpet bag. (I thoroughly expect him to be like Mary Poppins now.)

Paul & I on the train back from the concert.

The next day we walked around Greendale & went to his old fashioned ice cream parlor. Yum!

The little one is growing like a weed. They had their check-ups...10lbs. now!



And let's not forget the Kidlet started high school last week!

This past Saturday we went to a fabulous farmer's market where I came home with this groovy purple string beans, a pound of portabella mushrooms that I grilled last night, and blueberries.

Oh...and delicious homemade bread!

I was dumb & only photographed the peppers & eggplant...I should have bought some. *sigh*

Darcy spent the day looking like a southern belle.

And Sebastian kept stopping to smell the flowers!

Then we spent the entire day at the Lincoln Park Zoo. It's a great (free!) zoo in Chicagoland. We all had a fun time. I think the otters went on vacation though, since we couldn't find them in their area, and the penguins & other "black & white seabirds" had so much condensation on the windows of their areas I couldn't get a single decent photos to post. Alas...here are some other photos of our day though.

This crazy lookin' bird is a called a "paddlebill".

"Never smile at a crocodile..."

This is just one TINY segment of the billions of Hissing Cockroaches exhibit. It was disgusting beyond words. Look at the size of that big one in the center...eeeeeeew!!!!

And this is what you do with a baby hippo...ok, the real ones were swimming & that was cool!

Fish. Relaxing fish.

Gotta love a zoo & park in the city.