Is there a TOO far?

How far is too far when it comes to your kids? Is there a jumping off point in making sure your kids are safe? How about when it comes to educating them? I think those are simple answers, in that most parents would do most anything self-sacificing to further their children's intellect and safety. But what about their wants & needs? Is there a too far then? Parent Bloggers has proposed the question...what are your thoughts?

I have to say I am not the sort of parent who will sacrifice anything for my kids wants. Toys, clothing trends, video games, those things come & go. I made a rule when my daughter was born that I would never purchase a video game system for her. If someone gave her one, I wouldn't return it, but I would never buy one for her. Why? Because I'm the meanest mom on the planet! No, not really. It's because I truly believe that kids are losing their sense of imagination & attention spans because of computer & video games. Sure they are good with eye-hand coordination, but kids can't sit still for 10 minutes nor can they just run around outside using their imagination...all because most parents allow their kids to do nothing but play those things. (That said, my daughter does have 2 Gameboys and a Gamecube...all given to her by someone else.) And fashion trends, forget it! I refuse to spend $80 on a pair of shoes that will be outgrown in 6 months. A good knock off will serve the same purpose IF absolutely necessary. I try to encourage my daughter to have her own style instead. (And believe me, she does!)

But how far am I willing to go for my kids' needs? I don't know that I have a limit there. I've had some bad times, have gone without food for a day or two, have slept on couches and in my car (only once), have worn the same clothes for years...but my children have never had to suffer those same fates. I made sure the kidlet never knew the dire straits we were in, always had food, good clothes, toys, and love. LOTS of love.

There is no question to me that needs are limitless. Wants are arbitrary.
How far would you go for your kids?

Stupidity Pays Apparently

I won!

Let me explain...a few days ago I participated in the Parent Bloggers BlogBlast. We had to write about the stupidest questions we've been asked as parents. Well, those kind, wonderful women selected Dawn & I as the winners. I'm honoured!

What's the loot? The booty?

An iPod Shuffle & an autographed copy of THIS book! How cool is that?

Maybe you should join in the fun with Parent Bloggers? They rock!

Is that a Real Baby?

I realize that sometimes people are...er...well...just plain stupid. And for some reason when they see a pregnant lady, or a new mom, they just seem to open their mouths and let the stupidity fall out. Anyone who has a child has witnessed it...and wanted to scream. Instead we smile politely, answer their ridiculous question, and move on. So today Parent Bloggers is asking for those stupid questions. (You too can join in the fun, and maybe win an iPod)

I had to think about it, because there are just so many..."How many babies are in there?", "Your breasts are already so big, are they going keep growing?" and "Oh he's beautiful, he must look just like his father" (gee, thanks for telling me I'm ugly as sin!) But I realized that possibly the A#1 stupidest question I've heard yet (and yes, believe it or not I've had it asked several times now!) is "Is that a REAL baby?"

Are you kidding me? At the Civil War reenactment I had it happen at least a dozen times. At the 4th of July parade (in our Elizabethan costumes) I had it happen at least 4 times. But the worst is that I've actually gotten it while in "normal" clothing at Target. So what do I say? Usually I'm polite and smile and say "Well, of course", but on occasion I have been particularly snarky about it and replied "No, he's a puppet" or at the reenactment "No, they didn't have babies during the Civil War". (Yes, they did say "Really?!" and thus, again I say, people are stupid.)

"Don't you wish you could have just handed them this?"

Where does my time go?

The school year is wrapping up, and in just a week the kidlet will be boarding a train to visit her father out of state for the summer. She'll have her cell phone, her iPod, her GameBoy, a plethora of books, sketchbook and digital camera with her to occupy her time. I'll kiss her farewell for a few months, and hope that she & the baby don't have too difficult a time rebonding once she's back. And then I'll sit back and wonder, as I am now, when did she get so grown up?

As I was sitting up rocking the baby at 2am, I drifted back to when she was so small. It seems only a day ago that she was smiling up at me while I sang to her "the wheels on the bus" and put her "toes up your nose" silliness. Only a few hours ago her father was wrapping the towel around her after her baths, her squeels echoing through the house as I'd chase her around pretending to eat my "baby burrito". Or refusing to go to bed until she'd performed "the wiggle butt" song & dance. Only minutes ago she was the little girl with long, long hairs who asked to have it all cut off to donate to sick kids who needed it. And only a few seconds have passed since she was my buddy, brave at my side as her parents divorced and we moved to a new state.

And now I no longer look upon a little girl, but a budding young lady. Full of curves, her own insecurities & triumphs, and a smattering of innocence perched upon adolescence and adulthood. There are moments I wish she too were still as small & blissfully content as my 3-month-old son. But I'm glad she is ready for the future, for whatever adventures await. She is still my "bunny" and, for now, still likes to be with mom. I can only imagine what time will have in store for us next.

Join the fun! The Parent Blogger Network and Light Iris are teaming together to award one lucky blogger with a free, 2-day pass to Blogher’s 2007 Conference in Chicago. Write your own post on “Where Does My Time Go?” and submit it today. Good luck to everyone!!

I Want Candy

Much like a scene from “The Breakfast Club” or any other John Hughes film of the 1980s, Carman High School held its smatterings of jocks, nerds, rejects, and social elite. We were a school in the ‘burbs of a big city, looked upon by most as the privelged of public school existence. The majority of students came from professional fathers & stay-at-home mothers. Some parents were “celebrities” of the city…well known doctors, lawyers, reporters or car salesmen. It was a comfortable existence in a school that really had all the amenities the ‘80s could afford. In high school, the cafeteria was a mix of the usual, and occasionally, unusual pairing of kids.

Today’s schools are focused on “healthy fare” with fine nutritional offerings. In the late ‘80s pizza was rectangular with a healthy layer of orange grease floating on the top. French fries (only 50cents ala carte’) were obviously the generic frozen variety, and the salad bar consisted of little more than iceberg lettuce, cucumbers and Ranch dressing. That’s why most students opted for lunch from the vending machines.

The vending machines were more than just dropping in your coins for a bag of chips and a pop (in a cup…schools didn’t get big bucks from Coca-cola or Pepsi then). The vending machines were where you were noticed. From any spot in the cafeteria you could observe the object of your pubescent lust, without the embarrassment of being noticed.

My friends and I had a code to tell one another that one of our crushes was at the machines. “I want candy”. Reminescent of the song by BowWowWow where the singer laments “…he’s got everything my heart desires…” it was the perfect way to share the information without others knowing. We could be talking, quite honestly, about wanting candy from said vending machine…and I guess we were.

The vending machines were often a beehive of activity, and the bustle around them also provided the ideal opportunity of the truly daring to “accidentally” bump into the object of their affection. I’ll admit to actually squeezing a tush or two on the rare occasion in passing…timing it so once they turned to see who the offender was, I was already past them & gone. Usually singing “I want candy…” under my breath.

Check out School Menu and its parental counterpart Family Everday, two sites that work together with School Food Services Directors to provide and promote healthy eating and physical fitness for kids and their parents. Both are great websites to offer recipes and ideas for encouraging you & your kids to get up and get moving. School Menu is colourful enough for the kids to want to click around the site to play, and learn something at the same time. Family Everyday offers some fun, easy recipes worth sharing with the whole family, not just in the kids school lunches!

You Know You Need a Date with Your Husband when the Closest You've Come to Being Intimate is Folding His Underwear

Don't get me wrong, it isn't that I don't mind folding laundry. I'd rather do that than several other household chores, but honestly I have barely had time alone with my husband (despite our recent getaway).

Our relationship has always been an "interesting" one. We were friends with no intention of anything more. One day we kissed. We were still friends. One day we made out. We were still JUST friends. One day we...well...we were still JUST friends. No matter how much we tried to deny it, no matter how much we (or perhaps HE) said we weren't dating, we were falling in love. And even after love had been declared, we still were never boyfriend & girlfriend...or dating. But the bubble was there. That crazy bubble that would engulf us whenever we were together, making the rest of the world fall away and only the two of us, together, existed.

But 3 months ago a little bundle we named Sebastian entered our world. Where Kaitlyn could open the door of our bubble to come & go, this little guy has just made it go away. I don't hold it against him, but the reality of it is that the hubby & I haven't been able to get inside that bubble and have that oh-so-important "us" time & space. I need some time for a little romance. A little intimacy. Hell, some weak in the knees kissing & perhaps a little make your head spin sex wouldn't be bad either. So, I wait, rather impatiently for the day when there is no laundry to do, no bottles to clean or diapers to change, and we can find that "bubble" again.

It may take another 10 years.

This post is part of a Blog Blast sponsored by E-Harmony Marriage, a new online alternative to marriage counseling (cool, right?) and Parent Bloggers Network. If you'd like a chance to win a $100 Amex Gift Card for a date out with your spouse/partner plus $100 cash for a babysitter, then write your own post "You Know You Need a Date With Your Partner When...." anytime today, send the link to parentbloggers@gmail.com, andthey will pick a winner at random. Click here for more info!