Friends, Fall and Fun

This past weekend we visited friend in southwestern Michigan for a lovely autumn weekend away.

Friday the teenagers (they have 2, we have 1) babysat the toddlers (they have 1, we have 2) while the adults had a delicious dinner & movie night. Let me say, tableside guacamole can't be beat! The new version of "FAME" however left alot to be desired. I will say more about this later in another post.

Saturday we went out to Windmill Island in Holland. It was lovely, peaceful, and really did give you a sense of being in the Netherlands. The little boys needed to nap, so Kaitlyn & Alex stayed home while the rest of us wandered downtown Holland.

Sunday all of us headed out to a cider mill/orchards for typical Autumn day of apple picking, hayrides, raspberry picking, and general fun. It was a delightful day!

A Brick Wall

I do not know what to do with my teenage daughter anymore.
I love her, but I have so much anger toward her it takes all of my self-control and prayer to keep me from wanting to beat the crap out of her.
To the rest of the world she is sweet, kind, helpful.
To me she is rude, obnoxious, hateful, disobedient.
She won almost a full scholarship to her school (the best school around, I might add) because she scored higher than anyone else on her tests. She's been in the advanced gifted & talented programs since she was 4.
She's failing 2 classes, not because they are too hard, but because she's too lazy.
We've grounded her, taken away things, been nice, been angry, been rational...nothing matters to her. She's arrogant & pigheaded and if she doesn't want to do it, she won't. It doesn't matter to her that she is throwing away her whole future. She has the potential to be the #1 student in the school, and instead she's failing. By choice.
Last night was the last straw.
She called me an f-ing bitch all because we (God forbid) wanted her to shut up so Paul could help her with her math homework. (One of the classes she's failing.)
This escalated from there.
Today she started the morning with yet another fight.
I've called a child psychologist to please contact me.
I just don't know what to do anymore other than cry.
I do NOT want to ship her off to go live with her father, but part of me feels like maybe that's what she needs? I just don't know what to do anymore.

Are Yo-yos supposed to have Ups as well as Downs?

My life has been a broken Yo-Yo. All down, no up.
I'm seriously depressed, and I don't know what more to do. Not only am I getting NO bites on any resume'/applications I send, neither is Paul. He handles the bills, so I'm not asking, but I don't know how we're going to cover the mortgage, etc. this month. I'm sure there will be some creative juggling, but I'm just so angry that this is where things are right now.
Angry that, once again, I feel worthless & unmarketable.
Angry that I have to worry so much.
Angry that others get ridiculous amounts handed to them and they appreciate nothing.
We aren't bad people. We aren't uneducated or unexperienced. So why the hell are we the ones who must struggle so hard?

Creating Anew

So every year, after Bristol Renaissance Faire ends, everyone gets their things cleaned and packed away, and the lull of "real" life starts to set in...and then we get to do it all again for one short weekend! The Stronghold Faire happens the first weekend of October ONLY, and it's a great, low key, try something new opportunity. We all spend the night in the castle, go on hayrides, and take the shuttle into town where they have a big harvest festival going on. Last year I was able to go for a day. This year all of us (well, not the little ones) are going for the whole weekend and I'm giddy about it for some reason? Maybe it's because I'm trying on a new character to see how she fits?

SO, I sort of chose someone semi-randomly, and started some research. Turns out she's one of those women of the renaissance who actually have quite a bit written about her, and she's pretty darn interesting! So, I'm going through the process of making someone old, new. I'll let ya know more later!

A Mind Obsessed

I don't know what it is lately, but my brain is obsessed with Mackinac Island.

Every time I fall asleep, I dream about the island.

Every time my mind starts to drift, I envision being on the island.

I don't know if it's just that time of year, or if something in the cosmos is trying to tell me something, but I do know that I can't stop thinking about it. Remembering it. Wishing I was there. Feeling the need to go there.

But my bank account tells me a different story.

Why can't someone just magically show up on my door step with an all-expense paid trip to Mackinac?

*sigh*

I know, I'm nuts

A new costume & new character in development for the weekend.
Here is a pic of the mostl completed middle class costume for "Hilde von Thenard".

I've always wanted a teal & lime green dress!

Sweet 16 plans

So I introduced my daughter to the coolness that is Steampunk, and she's hooked.

Now she wants her Sweet 16 party to be a Steampunk theme.

As her birthday falls just before Christmas, and since she's due to be wit her dad for that holiday this year, we have decided the best time for her party is to be New Year's Eve. Cool, eh? Well, we are going to invite our friends too (so those of you who read this, this is your warning...start planning now!)

Yes, it will be a costume party. STEAMPUNK.

What is it? Well, it's this cool sci-fi/literary cross over phenomenon in which fashion is Victorian influenced, but futuristic, in that the world progressed via the steam engine, NOT electronically. Atoms weren't discoverd. Einstein's theory doesn't exist. You're familiar with it already, you just don't realize it. Think "Around the World in 80 Days" or even the movie "Wild Wild West" (Will Smith/Kevin Kline).

Is this yet another sign??

I have performed with renaissance faires for 18 years.

I have performed with the Bristol faire, specifically for 11 years.

I was with the Michigan faire for something like 12 years.

I saw Michigan, in my opinion, go into a downward spiral into nothing but fantasy with compete disregard to history. I believe the whole point of an event set in a specific time period is to present history. Entertain AND educate.

Now I'm seeing thing at Bristol that have me concerned of this same fate.

This photo is a friend of mine. She is THRILLED to be playing a role this season as a fairy, and for her I am also thrilled. She is loving it! and she deserves to feel this bliss.

I, however, loathe and detest the idea of fairies at a historical renaissance faire. I am willing to accept them, for the sake of little children, IN the children's area. I will NOT accept the "Barbarian" area that has arrived for people to hit each other with glorified "fun noodles". I will NOT accept the zombies visiting this weekend.

Today I received an email from my "historical guilde" director disregarding the historical facts.

Needless to say, I'm worried these are all signs of Bristol's own downward spiral.

Moving Forward, Letting Go

I've come to the realization recently that certain people just need to be cut from my life.
People whom I've tried to maintain as friends. People who I've attempted to respect.
But I just simply cannot any longer.
These few individuals have proven themselves immature and hateful on several occasions.

There is so much I could say. I choose not to only because it isn't worth it.

Some are Silver & the others Gold

This past weekend we had a dear old friend & her family come to visit. We had not seen each other in about 12 years, so it was wonderful to reconnect and have them here. They were WONDERFUL! All 3 of their kids are adorable & charming, she & her husband are as sweet & fun as I remembered...it was just a truly wonderful weekend! I think my son has a new best friend now in their 2 year old. They played SO well together! I only wish the weekend had been longer!

To top it off, I also had 2 other old friends from my MI clubbing days come up for the 4th! Robbie & Brad, Robbie's adorable new boyfriend, Jonathon, and Brad's friend, Aaron (whom I'd also not seen since my wedding) were just hilarious! Add to the mix our buddies, Misty & her whole family & Matt...it was just such an amazing weekend!

We also celebrated Darcy's first birthday! She was a trooper! Happy Birthday Little Princess!!! Love you!

Freedom & Liberty

As I furiously work to get my house spotless for much anticipated guests coming to visit for the 4th of July (YEAH!!) I would like to state that I see the day as the day we're celebrating my daughter's first birthday. I am NOT much of a patriot, pure & simple. (Given my choice, I'd be living back in England.) I respect this country. I respect our new president and get very angry when everyone keeps blaming him for things that aren't his fault (hello, he's only been in office a few months! This mess is the onslaught of our former Chief's stupidity!) And I also believe that the majority of Americans are self-centered, insular, spoiled brats. (Not saying I think any other mass of peoples in the world don't have their faults, I'm only speaking of the country in which I reside.) Anyway...in preparation of the 4th, I'm doing a "rerun" of a post I wrote this time in 2006.


Thanks to the Rest o'the World
Today Americans celebrate the 4th of July...America's Independence Day. I know there are going to be blogs everywhere extoling the virtues of the United States, so I wanted to do something a little bit different. I want to recognize that many of the symbols we associate with our "freedom", actually come via other countries. Or the facts we know may be just a little bit squewed. I'm not trying to incite a riot or upset any patriots...I just want to look at things from a slightly different point of view.

First, let's begin with the day itself. Why do we celebrate today? I think most people will answer "Because its the day the Declaration of Independence was signed!" Wrong! It was the day it was adopted by the 2nd Congress. It was read on the 9th, when it was approved by the 13 colonies, officially created on the 19th, but it didn't actually get signed until August 2nd!

Betsy Ross created the original American flag, right? Wrong! The flag that was created to represent the new country was created before the Revolutionary War by Rebecca Young. It was the flag General Washington raised on New Year's Day 1776. It was also our official flag on July 4, 1776. Now, did Betsy Ross actually make our flag? Well, she was a flagmaker, and made flags for almost 50 years, which is where her notoriety comes from. The "Stars & Stripes" flag (originally with 13 stripes & 13 stars) however, was created by Mary Pickersgill in 1813. It was the flag that was flying over Fort McHenry during the War of 1812 that was seen "by the dawn's early light" by Francis Scott Key.

Speaking of Mr. Key, the author of our American anthem, "The Star Spangled Banner", he was witness to the 25 hour retaliation attack of the British against the Americans at the fort during the War of 1812. Indeed, the in morning when the British ceased fire, the flag was still flying. He felt inspired and wrote the poem "The Battle of Fort McHenry". It was soon published in many places, and someone came up with the idea to sing it. However, the music ironically, is a popular English drinking song "To Anacreon in Heaven". It wasn't officially made our national anthem until 1931.

That same night's non-stop cannon & gunfire by the Brits is also the reason we celebrate with fireworks.

And let's not forgot that the quintessential figure of freedom, the Statue of Liberty, was a gift from the French in October 1886.

So today let's not be so ego-centric as to believe that we wouldn't have our freedoms of liberty, or the symbols of that, without the rest of the world.

In Bloom

Why am I a full week behind on posting anything? Ugh...life.

Ok, this is just a photo-filled post of pics I took last week at the Chicago Botanical Gardens.

Enjoy...let me know what is your favourite!

The exhibit for Muggles

A couple of weeks ago we headed down to Chicago's Museum of Science & Industry before the kidlet left for MI for the summer to see the Harry Potter exhibit. It was amazing! (and I can't believe it has taken me weeks to write about it!)

The exhibit had lots of costumes, props & set pieces from all of the movies. They did an amazing job of making you feel like you were moving through parts of Hogwarts, not just looking at props. I enjoyed seeing some of my favourite character's costumes up close. The details are incredible! My personal favourites...Snape and Gilderoy Lockhart. (That's the kidlet with the Ford Anglia Ron & Harry fly to Hogwarts.)

I can't recommend the exhibit enough, go my Muggle friends & enjoy the magic!

2 weeks

So this morning I received news that I have been given 2 weeks notice of my indefinate layoff.
Not only do I lose my job, but the ENTIRE parks & rec department is shutting down...which means no more classes, park shelter rentals or maintenance for the parks...which means the public is going to be VERY unhappy by the end of summer!

It sucks.

I hate that, once again, I'm back job hunting. That it seems like every company I work for bottoms up. I hate that I feel like I have this curse on me.

Where I'll be this weekend...

Oh Yeah!

Can't wait!

All of THE best coasters with my bestest friends!

Endless fun!

Family Vacations

So we've been talking for awhile now about taking a family vacation this summer. We set our sights on Colonial Williamsburg. It has all those elements we love...history, culture, shopping, places for the kids, etc. Then hubby sets the financial limits & presents the challenge to me to figure out how to make it happen. Well, I'm a research monkey and LOVE a good challenge! So, I did it! I made a roadtrip out to Virginia fit within our time frame, our budget, even a way to see a few very good friends along the way! Everything!

And then his hours were cut back, and mine were cut even more.

Now our wonderful family vacation has been eliminated. Erased. No more.
I'm REALLY sad about it. Instead we are limited to the backyard. Perhaps a day here & there at one of the Chicago museums (since we get in free anyway).

If only my hours would increase again or another good job came along...but in this economy we all know how likely that is.

Thank you for your suggestions of places to go, though! Mackinac Island is wonderful, but the height of the season at the beginning of August. And we've been to Galena, IL several times. It's positively wonderful & a special place for us...without the kids.

Keep making suggestions! Perhaps something will fit into our even more limited budget yet?!?!

Sorry about the Delay

...but I'm sick. Very sick. Icky, hacky coughy, snotty, body achey sick.
I haven't the energy to make the time to attempt something clever & witty or profound.

When I'm lying in my sickness I have been trying to think about where to take a good family roadtrip this August. I'd be eternally grateful for any suggestions. The requirements are: we must be able to drive there from Wisconsin, we will be travelling with 2 toddlers & one teenagers, and we love historical sites.

Please inspire me to get out of my fevered blandness. Thanks.

The End of the Line

Seven-tenths of the world is ocean and the people of the world is quickly depleating the oceans of its wildlife. We must put an end to the mass fishing of non-sustainable fish, and use non-regulated fishing practices that kills other marine animals like turtles, sharks, and even seabirds. Never mind the illegal fishing that profit from over $9 billion/year. The United States & Britain, among other nations, have seen an increase in the "Green movement" and yet people tend to overlook that taking care of the planet includes the oceans & seas. We forget that these waters are also our to maintain, protect, and sustain.
How?
By eating only sustainable seafood. (You can find what qualifies in that handy widget below.)
By helping politicians understand there needs to be protected areas where fishing is illegal.
By getting the word out! There is a great new book & film "The End of the Line" that will tell you more.
Please?

The Kidlet Goes to her 1st Prom

My lovely daughter is 15 & a freshman at St. Catherine's High School. I can't believe she is growning up so quickly! This weekend was went to Prom (with a senior, no less!) and her best friend, Jazz, was set up with another senior boy. (She lives in another town, so this was REALLY a treat for the two of them to be able to go together! It probably won't happen when they are seniors, after all!) My little girls...so grown up!

Now, Prom is always a big deal, but here in Racine it is an even bigger deal. You see, ALL of the high schools have prom on the same night. The kids go to dinner (mine went to Shogun, the Japanese restaurant in town), then to their respective schools (most for the crowing of the Prom Kings & Queens), and then at a set time, each school arrives down at the Lake Michigan-front convention center for the Post-Prom (which really is the main event).

There are camera crews filming it all (so we can sit at home & watch them live!), news crews, it was even hosted this year by some VH1 celebrity! There are bleachers set up for people who want to see it up close & personal & cheer all the kids. And the kids typically try to out do each other with the sort of vehicle they arrive in. In the past there have been army tanks, vintage firetrucks, even an elephant! This year there were alot of Hummer stretch limos, various kinds of buses, and even a yacht! (My kids took a 'traditional' limo.) My personal favourite this year, however, was the couple who came in the Stormtrooper SUV -- driven by a stormtrooper, with 2 more hanging off the sides, AND Darth Vader walking in front! Brilliant! Inside the Post Prom they had 3 different DJs for dancing, an inflatable labryinth, American Gladiator-style "jousting", Guitar Hero on giant wall TVs, karaoke, and more!

Then they spent Sunday together at Gurnee Mills mall, where they could eat at Rainforest Cafe', play lazer tag, ice skate, etc. She's growing up but what a great weekend!

Growing Up

This seems to be the week for my children to move onto a new stage in their lives all at once.

Little Miss not only learned to crawl forward last week, but this week she quickly moved onto pulling herself up on the furniture. AND she said her first word. Papa. She says it anytime my hubby walks into the room. (Yes, the kids call their rather papa rather than daddy. It was something he wanted, even though it 'traditionally' is used for grandfathers.)

Bug has been adding more & more words to his vocabulary every day, but his big development was the moved to a Big Boy Bed. No more crib for him! We transititioned it, and so far he hasn't gotten out of it even once!

Kidlet has Prom tomorrow. Yes, as a freshman she was asked by a senior friend to go with him. As it turned out, another friend didn't have a date, so she set him up with her best friend, Jazz (who lives in another town, actually) so both of the girls are going! It's been exciting doing all the prep with her, and I know she is going to look beautiful tomorrow as she leaves in the limosine with 5 of her friends to the "event of the year". (Which, in our city is REALLY the event...they even made a movie about Racine's Prom!)

And so they grow. And yet, I am the one who feels each step of their aging.

Tip o'the Day

Don't my eyebrows look fabulous?

Kidlet & I had our eyebrows cleaned up at this place at the mall via Brow Threading. What is brow threading? You can learn more here, but basically the lady takes length of string & plucks your brows. It does sting a big, but no more than plucking or waxing. And it's quick (about 5 minutes), inexpensive ($10), and our brows look positively fantastic!

If only the rest of me could be made to look that great that fast...sigh.

Here are a few random shots I took of all the gorgeous flowers in bloom around our house. Keep in mind, Dutch hubby o' mine wants fields of tulips, but so far these are some of what we have. I keep hoping for a wall of lilacs, myself.

I'm a better mom now

For Mother's Day my husband talked to my friend, Misty's husband, and the two of them sent the two of us away overnight on Saturday to the charming Victorian Farmhouse Bed & Breakfast. We were pampered in our room, appropriate named "Serenity Cove". The two twin,canopied beds with feather beds on top, made us feel extra girly & cozy. We had cocktails, gave ourselves facials, Satin Hands and feet. No distrupted sleep. No crying babies. No diapers. No argumentative teen. Just quiet & girl talk. Sunday we were treated to the b&b owner's specialty "Creme Brulee' French Toast"...complete with candlelight...in the lovely dining room. But we had to go, so we headed to an antique mall (well, it had 5 giant malls in it. We didn't make it to all of them!) We then spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around Long Grove, IL, a charming old-fashioned looking town with lots of modern shopping. I came home with a new glass bead bracelet, a bottle of Chocolate wine (yes, you read correctly. It's chocolate & red wine...and positively delicious!), and some of my favourite British treats (Yorkie bars, bridies, HP, cury chip sauce, etc.)
My husband earned BIG brownie points. He listened.

Elizabethan Gardens - Dudley Did Right

Robert Dudley,Earl of Leicester created a garden at Kenilworth in one of his many attempts to woo Queen Elizabeth I. They have now been able to recreate the garden, fountains & statuary to EXACT replicas. It's really pretty amazing, and needless to say, I desperately want to wander the gardens in my Elizabethan clothing with a gaggle of friends!

The wave subsides

Well, my anger has subsided, and I am actually grateful that my husband, though a brat many times, does actually listen. I'm being treated to a delightful Mother's Day gift (which I cannot reveal just yet)!

Now, if only the teenager would listen so well.

Boys are Dumb

Today I'm angry. I know, it seems to be my constant state this week. My anger today is directed at my eldest daughter who is failing a class. This is the girl who won scholarships based on having the highest scores of everyone in her class. She has all As in every other class. But she doesn't care about math & therefore is failing Geometry. I want to actually ring her lying, mouthy neck. I'm so freakin' fed up!
The other source of my anger today is my husband. The selfish man whom I married. Why oh why are ALL of them are selfish little boys who put themselves first? Why dont' they get that we moms & wives sacrifices ourselves constantly & they just do whatever they want, whetheror not it means WE get sleep, credit, stay healthy or have a braincell of any use left in our stressed out heads?
I hate them all today.

Bottom of the Barrel

Well, it's happened. My employers have cut my hours back to 10 per week. I'm so upset! My family can't afford for me to bring in that little amount. It's infuriating.
On the job hunt.

Those Old Crazy Days

I'm heading down to Chicago in about an hour to spend the day with a dear old friend who now lives in NYC and whom I haven't tseen in years. We used to perform together at the Michigan Renaissance Festival ("back in the day") and had some wonderful crazy times together. Sarah is the sort of person who could seriously intimidate if she really wanted to...she has piercings & tattoos all over and doesn't take crap from anyone. But, in reality, she is one of the sweetest, kindest people you'd ever want as a friend. She used to take the Kidlet to the Detroit Zoo when she was little, after all. But now she lived in NYC, works on the set of "Ugly Betty", and we haven't hung out in years. I worry that I'm going to come across as dull. That in the years of motherhood & wifedom I've become boring (something I've lamented about myself recently). I don't feel I've gotten old (though the Big 4-0 has recently become a reality) but rather, just much, much, much less talkative, fun & generally interesting...especially to my NYC, celebrity elbow-rubbing friend.

Things to Make You Thunk...er...Think

1. What color is your front door?
WHITE. House is blue, so door is white!
2. We discussed our folks in previous TT so now tell me about your siblings. If you are an only child, tell me whether or not you wanted siblings, older, younger etc.
I am the youngest of 8 children. My parents were each married previously. Dad had 4 kids...Patrick, Marge & Marilyn (twins), and Lauretta. Mom had 3 kids...Bill, Kathy & Mark. And then mom adopted me. I was 16 days old. Mom & Dad were married when I was tiny. And dad adopted us. So technically I was adopted twice...which I always said just proved I was REALLY wanted.
3. What color/type butterfly is your favorite?
The pretty ones I have only ever seen dead on display at museums.
4. Will you be celebrating Cinco De Mayo?
I will probably celebrate by making a mexican dinner for my family, and perhaps have a few margaritas. Otherwise, nope!
5. Oprah- love her, hate her, or don't care?
I really don't care. I mean, I enjoy Oprah's shows on the rare occasion I see them. I think she's done some wonderful things for people. I would just love to be at her Christmas giveaway show! But, otherwise, I'm indifferent.
6. Are you worried about the spread of swine flu?
I'm always worried about illnesses in regards to my kids. There are alot of Mexicans in our town, so now I feel this strange prejudice to avoid them in case anyone has recently been to Mexico.
7. Hard or soft pillows?
Hard! I just can't sleep on those next to nothing cushy feathery things!
8. How many trees are in your neighbor's yard?
Hmmm...I've never contemplated the trees next door (as I only have a neighbour on one side). I think they only have 2, though one hangs mostly over my side of the fence.
9. What was the color of the last car you saw?
I guess that would be the blue of my MIL's car when she picked up the kids this morning.
10. When does your driver's license expire?
I believe I have 2 more years with that horrific picture.
11. Look at the clock on your computer and type the numbers backwards.
82:11
12. When you put your pants on, what leg do you put in first?
Curious. I believe my right. Or left. It's one or the other!
13. How would you respond to this letter if you were an advice columnist.

I am an ugly woman. I was an ugly baby and child even! It is a fact. I am 36 now and I have never had a boyfriend, and I am still a virgin.

Due to me not having men in my life, I have poured everything I have in to education and my career. At 36 I am the youngest (and first female CEO) at a big, successful, tech company. I have over 200 personal patents and millions of pounds in investments.

I have everything: huge house, holiday villa in Spain, 3 cars, power boat, a race horse, etc. but as much I try to talk myself into everything being “great” I cannot help but to miss that special someone to share it all with.

Most of my friends are married with kids and I feel like I am gradually drifting away from them also.

Where can I find someone to marry an ugly woman?

My response:
You can find someone easily who will marry an ugly woman with a great deal of money. But is that really what you want? Instead you need to find someone who love YOU. If you are really that uncomfortable with your looks, you can always have surgery. And I'd focus on your self-esteem before worrying about a relationship. Believe me, confidence will bring the men to your villa!

Thursday's Book

I used to do the Thursday Thirteen.
I stopped doing it sometime last year...simply because I didn't feel I had the time for it. But since I've been in such a writing rut lately, I decided that maybe if I went back to it, I could feel inspired.
Imagine my surprise to find the original was gone!
But instead I found BOOKING THROUGH THURSDAYS, which I personally find very cool.
I'm going to attempt to keep this a regular feature. Please feel free to share your opinions!

Which is worse?

Finding a book you love and then hating everything else you try by that author, or

Reading a completely disappointing book by an author that you love?


Personally I think it's worse to find a disappointing book by an author you love. Mostly because I've probably invested in the purchase simply because I love said author...and then I feel like I want my money back. That's how I'm feeling about Anne Rice these days. It makes me sad that I don't feel motivated to continue her new religious track. I miss the character development of her other books.

Do-Re-Meeeeeeeeee....

This made me positively giddy this morning! Nothing has made me this bouncy, happy in quite awhile. I adore "The Sounds of Music" (it was the first professional show I was ever in and I used the wedding processional for my own wedding, so it's has many special memories for me!) I hope you enjoy this, as well.

Reconnecting

I feel like I've lost a sense of who I am.
I feel disconnect from my own being.
How do I find that part of me again?
Please, I NEED imput.
This isn't rhetorical.

Now I need a Clone

I RSVP'd that I'd be at a wedding this weekend.
I want to go to a baby shower in MI.
How can I possibly be in multiple places at once?

Budget Cuts

So I walked into work yesterday to get the news that the Village, who had recently announced was in a huge deficit & needed ALL departments to find some budget cuts, decided that it would be a good idea to take $65,000 from MY department's $70,000 budget! Uh...are you kidding me?
How can they expect a Parks & Recreation Dept. to run on $5,000 for a year? I'm supposed to get paid for my job, my maintenance crews jobs, the equipment & supplies for maintaining four large community parks, the sports fields, classes, advertising, lights, phone, office equipment, etc. on $5,000???!?!???!?!? REALLY?!?!
I'm furious.
Yes, we are trying to become more independent from the village budget, but seriously?!?!
So, needless to say I'm concerned over the viability of my own job.
And, truthfully, a bit panicked for my family, as my hubby's hours were already cut back a couple of months ago. Things have been tight...and now they are even tighter.
Only here can I say it...I'm scared.

Another Year in my Life

Today is my birthday.
I feel sad.
Another year has passed in which I have not done the things I'd hoped to do.
I have not been able to go visit my mother in the nursing home in Florida.
I have not lost the weight I gained.
I have not reached a point of feeling financially stable.
I have not returned to being creative.

I guess I need to look at a few positives...

I have a small circle of great friends.
I reconnected with some friends whom I had lost & I love them dearly & hope to see them more in the future.
I have my wonderful children & husband.
I do have a job that I like most of the time.

Birthdays. Hmmm...if only it was as simple as blowing out a candle & making a wish.

Delays & Distractions

I've been meaning to write. I really have! But life keeps getting in the way.
I still plan to post photos from the ball. *sigh* I just never have time these days, and I don't know why? I work all day & then I deal with kids & by the time they go to bed, it's time for ME to go to bed. I just want a day to myself. Just me. But then I'd want to just read or something all day rather than actually being productive. Ah, the fate of adulthood!

I'm frustrated that Blogger isn't letting me change the color of my individual posts anymore. Jerks. I like color options!!

Today I had my first ad for my job printed! It's fun & colourful & hopefully will generate interest in our classes I work so hard to provide to the community.

I realized this week that I have to cancel my plans to go to Michigan because I forgot about a wedding we have to attend. I've been so wrapped up in getting a prom dress for the Kidlet, I don't know if I even have anything appropriate to wear anymore? I do, but it might be too "winter". Oh well...people will just have to deal.

This weekend is my hubby's 30th birthday. Next Tuesday is my birthday (NO, I'm NOT discussing my age ever again!)So we're throwing a little get together on Sunday with a murdery mystery party that I've actually worked really hard to rework since losing a few guests. I hope everyone enjoys themselves?

Ok...enough babble, back to work.

Regency Ball

So much to say! Such a wonderful evening! It was like stepping into a BBC movie! Everyone in our group looked fabulous! The dancing was fun & elegant! The food was delicious! (I am still amazed by Kassi's endurance!) I will be back later to post some photos. Soooo fun!

Stranger Sorrow

Why is it that we will sometimes feel an overwheming emotion when we hear about someone we don't even know suffering a great tragedy or success? Is it just a part of who we are as humans to become empathetic?

Natasha Richardson's recent death has touched me very deeply, and I was thinking about why that is. Perhaps it's because I liked her as an actress, as well as her (oh so handsome) husband, Liam Neeson? Perhaps it's because she was only 45 years old and has two teenage sons? Or maybe it's because of the simple tragedy of her death? Never mind the fact that whenever I hear about it all I can see in my mind is Liam Neeson in "Love Actually" when his character loses his wife.

I think it has made me see my own mortality. That has become my greatest fear...dying too young, dying before I get to share in my children's lives. I suddenly woke up to realize my age & fear took hold. Am I alone in this?

It's a Universally Acknowledged Truth...

Last night my hubby & I had a much need "date night". Dinner didn't end up being where we had planned because he worked too late, so instead we had a quick dinner at Panera, which was tasty enough, before heading off to the Milwaukee Rep's production of "Pride & Prejudice". It was WONDERFUL. Ok, as with most shows I had a few issues (let's just leave it to say that their casting of Lydia was DREADFUL. Almost as bad as casting Kiera Knightly in the latest film version as Elizabeth Bennet...only with an atrociously dreadful accent!) and I think Kate or whomever did the hats suddenly fell on their own heads...but otherwise it was a great show. Darcy was very well cast (tall, handsome & strangely had this perfect combination of looks of Colin Firth and Matthew McFayden, but gave a better performance than McFayden as Darcy!) Mr. Collins was hilarious and had a fantastic voice. Mr. Bingley was cute & charming, Jane was beautiful, Caroline was bitchy. Surprisingly, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner were a stand-out delight! I wasn't particularly fond of their casting for Elizabeth. She was too plain, and her voice became too high pitched & grating at moments, but overall, she did quite well.

Ok, that's my quick review. I was very glad to see it and it was, without doubt, the best stage script I've ever encountered of "Pride & Prejudice"!

The Mom Song

Simply Brilliant!

Can You Hear the People Sing?

This week is the opening of kidlet's school musical "Les Miserables". I was roped into helping with costumes, and after previewing last night's rehearsal, I have to same, I'm impressed! Some of the kids really do have amazing voices. The orchestra = phenomenal. (Seriously, it was like listening to the soundtrack.) And the costumes...well, what can I say? For a high school that consisted entirely of adapting modern pieces to making them look period appropriate, I had to pat myself on the back, they looked pretty darn awesome! I was proud of the kidlet as she really knows how to react & throw focus on stage (something many of her classmates could take a lesson from). As with almost ANY production there are always choices that are made that I have opinions about. (Mostly I hate front of curtain staging...there is nothing worse to me than seeing someone who just died on stage get up on the not-dark-enough stage & walk off...and in Les Miz almost EVERYONE dies!) I'm looking forward to seeing the opening night on Thursday when all those technical kinks are worked out. Sometimes I regret not becoming a high school drama teacher...and then I think of the time commitment and am glad to just be an involved parent.

Forward!

Forward! is the Wisconsin state motto. I just learned that. I think it's appropriate today. I have had a few crazy weeks.

First of all, the drama with the friend who was offended by what I wrote here. Long story short, I will not communicate with her anymore unless absolutely necessary. We are no longer friends. This REALLY bothered me at first, but the way she has chosen to (not) address this matter makes it easier.

Next...sewing. Lots of sewing. I still have more to do, but the bulk of it is done. I've completed my Regency dress (and am pleased for the most part). I have almost all of the kids in "Les Miserables" costumed. (The rest will be finished tomorrow morning.) I can now focus on the hubby's breeches and...eventually...new faire garb. But we'll see about that later.

Today the weather is in the 50s and gorgeous. I hope to be able to enjoy at least some of it today. I suggest you do the same!

Focus...Focus....focus....

I have several project currently on hand...sewing a Regency gown (ok, it's almost finished, I just have to hand sew the trim)...sewing Regency breeches (dreading this task)...figuring out the purchase of fabric for a new court gown for Bristol and sewing said dress (I really want a new gown, I just don't want to spend any money)...and other random bits & pieces. My problem is my lack of focus lately. I just don't WANT to do it once the time finally becomes available for me to do it. I don't know what my deal is. I know my brain is lingering on stupid things sometimes, and other times I just...don't.

How do you focus?

Throw Me Some Beads, Mister!

Happy Mardi Gras!

I hope everyone is indulging in some paczkis, drinking a hurricane, eating some gumbo or jambalaya and exposing their breasts for some beads because tomorrow we fast & pray!

Have a fun, festive day!

Choices

I'm here. It's my choice to keep my blog alive. I try to lead a "public" life. I don't believe in censorship, so why censor myself?

As I had stated before, I still feel bad that someone was offended by my words. It was wrong of me to write something that could hurt so much. It was never my intent. I can only take it as a learning lesson, but that doesn't mean I have to shut down my space. It is a journal. It is public. It is a learning lesson as are all good things in life.

So...welcome back. Let's see where life goes from here.

44

Today is the inauguration of the 44th president of the United States, Barack Obama.
It is a significant day. A day that I hope will bring a new hope to this country. There cannot be any great changes quickly. There cannot be any miracle cure. But this country NEEDS hope. It needs the ability to change. It needs a sense of community. And these are the things I believe our new president will bring.
At least that is MY hope.

Cold. And Snow. And Cold. And Cold. And Snow. And Cold

That pretty much sums it up. It's freakin' cold. There is LOTS of snow.
I'm bitchy & crampy & generally unpleasant today, so it's probably a good thing that I'm here at work alone.

Inspire or Admire...your call

Happy New Year!

I love Swapbot. I forces my creativity. And I joined this swap "inspire or admire" as a way of assessing just a few things I've done in my life. Here is the list. Those listed in Red are things I've done. (I've added some commentary where necessary.) Feel free to comment...or post your own list.

Bought everyone in the bar a drink
Swam with wild dolphins
Climbed a mountain
Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
Been inside the Great Pyramid
Held a tarantula
Taken a candlelit bath with someone
Said “I love you” and meant it
Hugged a tree
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched a lightning storm at sea
Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
Seen the Northern Lights
Gone to a huge sports game
Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
Grown and eaten your own vegetables
Touched an iceberg
Slept under the stars
Changed a baby’s diaper
Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Watched a meteor shower
Gotten drunk on champagne
Given more than you can afford to charity
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
Had a food fight
Bet on a winning horse
Asked out a stranger
Had a snowball fight
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
Held a lamb
Seen a total eclipse
Ridden a roller coaster
Hit a home run
Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
Adopted an accent for an entire day (uh, on a regular basis...I do reenactments!)
Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
Had two hard drives for your computer
Visited all 50 states
Taken care of someone who was drunk
Had amazing friends
Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
Watched whales
Stolen a sign
Backpacked in Europe
Taken a road-trip
Gone rock climbing
Midnight walk on the beach
Gone sky diving
Visited Ireland
Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
Visited Japan
Milked a cow
Alphabetized your CDs
Pretended to be a superhero
Sung karaoke
Lounged around in bed all day
Played touch football
Gone scuba diving
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Played in the rain
Gone to a drive-in theater
Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken (is that possible?) (YES!)
Toured ancient sites
Taken a martial arts class
Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight (What's D&D? guess if I don't know I have not done it) (Does it count that it was EAU & not D&D specifically?)
Gotten married
Been in a movie
Crashed a party
Gotten divorced
Gone without food for 5 days
Made cookies from scratch
Won first prize in a costume contest
Ridden a gondola in Venice
Gotten a tattoo
Rafted the Snake River
Been on television news programs as an “expert”
Gotten flowers for no reason
Performed on stage
Been to Las Vegas
Recorded music
Eaten shark
Kissed on the first date
Gone to Thailand
Bought a house
Been in a combat zone
Buried one/both of your parents
Been on a cruise ship
Spoken more than one language fluently
Performed in Rocky Horror
Raised children (in the process)
Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
Passed out cold
Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
Had plastic surgery
Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
Wrote articles for a large publication
Lost over 100 pounds (I WANT TO!)
Held someone while they were having a flashback
Piloted an airplane
Touched a stingray
Broken someone’s heart
Helped an animal give birth
Won money on a T.V. game show
Broken a bone
Gone on an African photo safari
Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
Ridden a horse
Had major surgery
Had a snake as a pet
Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
Visited all 7 continents
Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
Eaten kangaroo meat
Eaten sushi
Had your picture in the newspaper
Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
Gone back to school
Parasailed
Touched a cockroach
Eaten fried green tomatoes
Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
Killed and prepared an animal for eating (do fish count?)
Skipped all your school reunions (technically none have been organised)
Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
Been elected to public office
Written your own computer language
Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
Had to put someone you love into hospice care
Built your own PC from parts
Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
Had a booth at a street fair
Dyed your hair
Been a DJ
Shaved your head (not completely, just parts)
Caused a car accident
Saved someone’s life

Oh, the weather outside is frightful...

Snow. Lots of snow. Lots & lots of snow. Am I complaining? No! I love the snow. I really do. (Now the bitter below zero temperatures and ice, you can keep that, thank you.) I choose to live in the midwest because I DO like winter. Or at least snow. And we will definately have a white Christmas!

I hope everyone has a VERY Happy Christmas! Stockings full & tree a glow with twinkle lights, warm drinks (with extra "warm") or egg nog (none of this "eggless nogless" crap, the good stuff!), and happiness. I wish more than anything for my friends, happiness. I love you all!

My baby...a young lady

How did this happen? My little girl turned 15 yesterday. It seems that only a moment ago she was my little girl with the long, long hair. Now, she's a young lady. It make me sad. Sad that I can't cuddle her like I once could. Sad that I don't "play" with her like I once could. Sad that in another blink she'll be off to college, and then a life of her own. And I'll miss her. And I'll forget all the fights & mouthiness. I'll miss the hugs that I am guilty of occassionally shrug off because I'm too busy. And my baby will be grown & I'll instead wonder when I'll see her again. I guess I'd better cherish these next few years before she's flown the coop onto her own life. At least for now I can be content to know she loved her Batman cake.

Little Steps

So, obviously I was able to get my photo back up there...but now I can't figure out how to move the text! *sigh* If you have Blogger, you can check out that they now have all these groovy, supposedly "easy" ways to tweek your blog. Cool. And the widgets ARE easy. It's just they don't just simply let you align things. *again, sigh*

I had a cookie party planned for this weekend. One person RSVP'd. (Why, oh why don't people today seem to understand basic etiquette??) And then after I cancelled it, 6 people emailed me all sad that I had done so. Then why didn't you say you were coming before people?!?!?! So, now its back on. Slightly less formal then before & me waaaaaaay less prepared. I know, I know, I could have just left it cancelled, but I really wanted an excuse to see people. I love my family, but I find it necessary to have contact with other humans now & again.

You know what else bothers me today? The fact that I like to randomly search for photos to use...ok...steal...to put on my blog sometimes. Whenever I do an image seach these days the ONLY ones that come up are on flicker. I don't like flicker. I avoid using flicker. And it makes me feel like I really AM stealing the photos because they aren't just on some random website. It's not like I credit them as my own...I'm not THAT stupid. And I think the few of you who do stop by here know which ones I've actually taken. Or maybe I just blew my cover? Damn.

On yet another random note, because I am feeling rather random right now, I discovered this morning that no matter how much 'better" for you skim milk is, it makes your Vanilla Cappicino taste watered down & unsatisfying.

I guess that's how I'm feeling right now...watered down & unsatisfied. *sigh*

Grrrr....BIG White GRRRRRR.....

Ok, so I was getting this notice that I could now add things to my blog. Cool. (You'll see a few off to the left there.) However, you'll also notice that stupid Blogger went & killed all the special added things from my blog (like my main picture, which I loved). Now I'm forced to have to take the time to refigure out how to do the HTML to add it again. (If anyone can just tell me so I don't have to research that, I'd be eternally grateful!)
Stupid technology.

On a more personal note, we have snow. Not as much snow as other parts of Wisconsin, but snow. (It seems that being on the shores of Lake Michigan mean we stay warmer in the winter than other areas, and don't get the lake effect snow Michigan gets. Hmmmm...its still only 12 degree today, I might add. Yeah, warmer...sure....)

Things are good. I have much of my Christmas shopping complete, with only a little left to do after my next paycheck. I've found better deals online than anywhere else this year, actually. We're all well. Darcy sat herself up twice yesterday without me even touching her!

That's all. Now to figure out this stupid blog HTML...sigh.

Turkey Day

Go ahead...gorge yourself on turkey, cranberries & stuffing! Or perhaps you're one of those people who, for some odd reason prefer to have things like ham & green beans? No matter what you choose to indulge yourself with today, have a great Thanksgiving!

There is alot to be thankful for...health, friends, family. Faith for the future. And I am thankful...for you!

(I hope I'm not the only one who appreciates the sheer terror of this photo, either.)

Baby Sings the Blues

I've just been blue lately.
I don't know if it's post-partum guk, or if its just life.
At Darcy's 4 month check up they made me fill out a questioniere asking questions like "Have you felt stressed, anxious, or nervous in the past 2 weeks?" Uh...yeah. But Christmas (and Kaitlyn's birthday) are coming next month and I have no gifts yet and money is tight, and....
or "Do you not look forward to things you used to look forward to?" Uh...yeah. But again, money is always an issue & my own extended family are schmucks, and some of my friends are really miss are far away, and have all sorts of things I want to do but can't afford to do and don't have the time to do even if I had the money. "Do you feel bad about yourself or blame yourself for things?" Uh...yeah. I have all sorts of extra weight I'm hating to the point I can't stand to even look at myself in the mirror, and yet my self control seems non-existant. I hate all the clothes I do have but can't afford to buy myself anything new so I'll at least feel cute. Oh, and money again...I feel like its my fault I can't give everyone all the things I WANT to give them. Or take a trip to visit my mom. Or...

You get the idea.

So am I suffering post-partum depression? I don't know. I do know I feel in a constant state of frustration, have zero energy for anything, and everyone pisses me off on a regular basis.

Happy freakin' Holidays. guh.

Weekend for my Girlies

Last weekend was a bit hectic...it was Darcy's Baptism AND Kaitlyn's Homecoming. Fortunately we were able to juggle everything. Kim Weber is now Darcy's Godmother, and Geoff (Paul's brother) is her Godfather...brilliant influences on her future, I think!

Here she is looking cute. (And her mohawk is natural, we don't do anything to make it stand up like that! And I didn't notice before now that she's flipping me off...like I said, Kim & Geoff's influence I'm' sure!)

And big brother, Sebastian, in his cute suit I bought him. (I'm a sucker for boys in short pants, what can I say? It's that English schoolboy thing!)

And big sis, Kaitlyn, looking WAY too grown up & lovely for the Homecoming Dance. Her date (Billy, a senior, no less) gave her the prettiest corsage...and totally her! It had pink roses with mini-carnations dyed black! And instead of the typical piece of elastic most wrist corsages have, it had a cool 4 band black beaded bracelet instead. Yeah, he got big points for that...and for taking her to dinner at Shogun, the Japanese restaurant in town!

And here we are, the whole family. (If only I was as good looking as the rest of my family!)

It was really great to have Kim here! And we did an evening at Great America riding coasters. It was fun...but no Cedar Point!