13 Struggles

13 Things I'm Struggling with this Week

1. Pregnancy weight gain (I no longer feel glowing...I feel ugly)

2. Financial stress (its one of those weeks)

3. Baby preparations (sooo much to be done)

4. Loneliness

5. Boredom (I know, you'd think with everything I have to do I wouldn't feel bored...wrong!)

6. Feeling like a good mom (I just am not this week)

7. Work (specifically I can't get programs to do what I want)

8. Friends (or the lack there of ... see #4)

9. Repetition (my life seems to be going in circles with everything from laundry to conversations)

10. Having a boy (...I just feel scared)

11. Having zero time with the hubby (if I get 45 minutes a day, I'm lucky)

12. This blog (should I even bother? Does anyone care?)

13. The fact I'm stuggling with these things does nothing for my self confidence!

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Oh Boy!

Today I'm feeling a little like Sam from "Quantum Leap" as at the beginning & end of every episode you'd hear him exclaim "oh boy!"

Yesterday was my level 2 ultrasound which showed us all sorts of coolness, including the fact that the baby shows no signs of any genetic defects...and that he is, indeed, a BOY!!! I had my feelings as such since very early on, but kept semi-quiet about it, just in case. Hubby is thrilled to have his "heir". Big sis is thrilled too! Me? I'm excited, though nervous as I know NOTHING about little boys! (Believe me when I say we are not sports/cars sorts of people! Art, theatre, dance, dress up, castles, swords, pirates..that's what this child's future holds. But I'm excited!! Any boy tips you can share, please do!!!! I'm off to go shop!

Crisp Days

Well something happened to my computer keyboard at home and now the entire top row of letters refuse to actually type. *sigh* That's not an expense I need to incur right now...does anyone know if you can get an adapter for a keyboard plug (so I could use the one from my old computer which has the old style round plugs)?

Elsewhere the air is crisp with the goodness that is Autumn, and though dreary with rain-laden clouds, its a delight to me. I'm sipping a mug of warm apple spice tea, treating myself to candy corn and peanuts (candy corn is fat-free after all!), and finished off the homemade bean soup I made (it'll never be as good as my dad used to make...sigh). This weekend we are looking forward to two good friend's wedding (I'm doing some of the day-of coordinating) and then going to the Fall Harvest Festival in Milwaukee, where there will be Halloween decorating, pumpkin carving events, hayrides, and general fall goodness. Next week we have plans to head to the nearby apple orchard because my favourite kind (Ida Red) will be available for picking via the hayride out, and apple pancakes will be on the menu (my husband makes great pancakes!)

Fortunately my sweaters still fit over my ever-growing baby belly, though I am convinced that my "new" cousin Liz is right...the placenta eats your brain! I'm so forgetful these days! Speaking of Liz, she is waaaay cool and has just arrived in Leeds, England for a year studying abroad for her Masters...in Medieval Lit. Yes, she's brilliant AND hilarious! I'm terribly jealous and wish I could go visit her sometime while she's there. Cheers Liz! Have a Scrumpy Jack cider with a raisin & biscuit Yorkie for me!

For everyone else...go out and enjoy the beginning of Fall...it started today!!

Update

I received the test results back. Negative results for the quad-screen blood test, which means there are no signs of any genetic defects (i.e. down's syndrome, etc.) for the baby. (YEAH!) And the colposcopy for me shows no signs for cervical cancer in the future. (Also, YEAH!) So now I sigh a sigh of relief, and impatiently wait for the ultrasound next Friday to confirm the genetic testing...and to tell me if I'm having a boy or a girl!! I did pick up some of those "necessity" items yesterday...a diaper pail, a winter carseat cover, etc. I also found the nursery set...and it wasn't the one I really wanted that cost $279, but we really like it nonetheless. (If I can find a picture, I'll post it.) Feeling happy, despite a slight cold.

Oh, and its officially fall in my world, as I've been making lots of stew & homemade soups & bread. I have apple cider in the fridge, and carmel apples too. I've started purchasing new Halloween decorations and started costumes! Have I mentioned I love the fall?!

Surviving

First to those who inquired, things are fine here, I was just far too busy (and sleep deprived) to post since last week! I had a doctor's appointment a few days ago, which was tramatic. Not because there is anything wrong with the baby, but due to the lack of information being shared by the medical staff. I arrived, had the usual weigh-in, blood pressure, pee in a cup tests, then they listened to the baby's heartbeat (for literally seconds only!), then I was taken into another room for a colpscopy (where they take a sample from your cervix), which I was unprepared for before being given "ok, we'll see you again in a month!" What? That's it? Nothing to check on my pregnancy? I was then sent across the hall to the lab for blood work I'd not been informed of. (It seems because of my age they do a blood test to check on the baby's health, but I didn't have a clue what was happening!) Yeah, pregnancy hormones made me start crying and demanding to know what was going on! I now have my Level 2 ultrasound scheduled for the 29th which will check for any birth defects, Downs, etc. (again due to my over 35 status) and hopefully (please, please, please!) tell us if we're having a boy or a girl! So now we wait, and in the meantime hubby is heavy into rehearsals for "Pride & Prejudice", which leaves the kidlet & I at home most evenings to play games & watch tv.

So last night she & I revived our old tradition of watching "Survivor" together. This was our standing Thursday night ritual for a few years, but then the show became dull & life took over. But this new season seems fresh and exciting again, and we were totally sucked in. The "social experiment" of dividing 4 teams by race creates controversey for the viewer, as it really didn't seem to effect the players. I'm a firm believer that stereotypes only prevail if you allow them to. If you don't want to be labelled by a stereotype, don't play into it. And in the end the competition becomes one on one, not race against race. As a comedian (I can't recall who) once said "I don't hate people because of their race, it so much easier to hate them on an individual basis". The tribe has spoken.

13 Movies and Treats

This weekend a friend is celebrating their 30th birthday with an old fashioned slumber party. It's going to be silly and fun, and we'll have movies & snacks.

So today's thirteen are some of my favourite movies and the foods I'd serve with them!

1. Wizard of Oz ...classic popcorn

2. the Sound of Music ...potato pancakes w/applesauce

3. My Fair Lady ...Trifle

4. Pride & Prejudice ... Scones w/double devon creme

5. Mansfield Park ...cucumber tea sandwiches

6. Elizabeth R ...cheeses and summer sausage

7. 16 Candles ...carrot cake w/cream cheese frosting

8. the 5th Element ... burgers

9. Gothic ...dark chocolate brownies

10. Rob Roy ...beef stew

11. Mary Queen of Scots ...scotch eggs

12. What a Girl Wants ...ice cream sundaes

13. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ... treacle tarts & poprocks

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School Day Blues

I love the start of a new school year. I always want my own stash of pencils and folders and various school supplies, it just so exciting to start fresh.
Though my daughter technically started on Friday (yes, I know that's ridiculous, they had the kids go one day before Labor Day weekend, crazy), today feels like Day One. Unfortunately it started off in disaster. Not only did the kidlet hurt her wrist and need to have it wrapped, the couldn't remember the combination for her bike lock and had to walk. About 1/2 hour later she was back home, crying on the front porch because she couldn't get to school. Apparently the wonderful city government has decided that the beginning of the school year is clearly the best time to tear out the entire street leading to the middle school, which includes all of the sidewalks and pathways. To say I was furious is an understatement. Complaints to the city resulted in "we'll try to put some gravel paths in sometime this week for the kids, but even those will be met with interruptions now and again". So basically somedays they might be able to get to school, but other days they won't...great. Of course, of all days for hubby to need the car, today was it. I had to call a friend on the other side of town who graciously packed up her newborn to drive here to take my daughter to school (via a backway that would have made her trek to school almost 4 miles had she walked it!) So the kidlet missed her entire first class (a class she only has 2 days a week to begin with!) but at least she's made it. We're hoping she can find a ride home with a friend.

And so the school year has begun. It has to get better from here.

13 Things about My Week

13 Cool Things About My Week

1. My daughter & I saw WICKED in Chicago last night!

2. She was able to get autographs from the lead actresses!

3.We bought a stroller for the baby

4. My daughter starts 7th grade tomorrow.

5. Did I mention we saw WICKED?

6. Hubby & I spent some real quality time together.

7. Kidlet & I spent real quality time together.

8. Was able to reconnect with an old friend.

9. I'm gong to go maternity clothes shopping

10. I am have submitted writing samples to the newspaper

to apply as a columnist (as a theatre critic)

11. Friends are coming to visit from out of state this weekend

12. I'm going to perform at the Bristol Renaissance Faire this weekend

13. I have some really cool people reading my blog!

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

The challenge, as defined by Nif by way of FrancyPants:

Make a list of what you did and will do, thoughts you had, literal or not, funny or serious, a written snippet of your life. Link it back to me. If so motivated, eventually make a scrapbooking page of it.

Yesterday
I was pregnancy lazy.
I enjoyed listening to the kids playing outside on their last days before school.
I cuddled and snuggled until late with the hubby.

Today
Scheduled classes for people.
Made a sweet card to leave for the hubby.
Going with the kidlet to see WICKED in Chicago!

Tomorrow
Checking to make sure kidlet has everything need to start school Friday.
Cook Pad Thai for dinner
Run lines with the hubby for Pride & Prejudice

1000 years of battle

Last night hubby & I watched a really excellent film "The Kingdom of Heaven". I highly recommend it. Besides the fact it stars Orlando Bloom, Liam Neeson, and Jeremy Irons, its a truly well made epic. Yes, I would classify it into the Epic catagory. Set in 1100, the story addresses the battles raging between the Christians and Muslims in Jeruselum, the Knights Templar, honour, courage, and strength. It addresses the differences between faith and religion. And exposes the sick, sad truth that 900 years later, we are still waging the very same war. The most profound speech in the movie happens when Orlando Bloom's character declares to the people of Jeruselum the land once belonged to the Jews, then the Christians, and if the Muslums take it, does anyone have a greater right to the land than anyone else? Is any one temple or mosque more holy of a building for worshipping God? Is it any truer today? War wages in the middle east for ego and land. I saw so much of our own political administration, as well as others, echoed in this story, and was saddened by humanity for it, for I fear Peace is something that indeed will only be achieved in the true Kingdom of Heaven. Rent the film, I dare you to not be inpacted my it.

13 to Drool Over

13 Sexiest Male Celebrities...according to me

(Warning, I have a quirky taste in guys)

Today is a dreary, rainy day and what better way to brighten it

than with a little chocolate & pretty things to look at?

(I apologize, Blogger isn't uploading my pictures...maybe later.)

1. Christian Bale (from Newsies to Batman, he's always sexy to me)

2. Alan Rickman (yep, even as Snape!)

3. Alan Cumming (on stage or screen)

4. Liam Neeson (sexiest role ever...Rob Roy)

5. Joseph Fiennes (better than his brother anyday)

6. Johnny Depp (how could I not include him?

Have longed for him ever since 21 Jump Street!)

7. David Bowie (just gets better with age)

8. Brendon Fraser (goofy, but hot)

9. Kevin Kline (if for nothing but Pirates of Penzance alone!)

10. Simon leBon (my DuranDuran hottie)

11. Kenneth Branagh (any man who can make Shakespeare that hot gets my vote)

12. Pierce Brosnon (come on, he's Bond!)

13. Colin Firth (sexy, sexy in any time period)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Thank yous

Recently I've read alot of blogs that have made me feel sorry for the author because of a tragedy that is far too common in our day and age...the inconsideration of a spouse. Now, don't get me wrong, we all have our days, but blogs like this one shake me up and make me realize how wrong it is for us to be unappreciated by those we love the most. I see this as an unfortunate epidemic of a modern society that is so "me-me-me" oriented. We sometimes forget to be thankful of those little daily tasks. It isn't always easy to get up every day, deal with the kids, clean the house, run the errands, and remain cheerful. It also isn't always easy to get up, go to a stressful job, deal with traffic, and pay bills. We take it all for granted, and in doing so fail to say thank you...and mean it.

I had my own experiences of feeling unappreciated in the past, and with that, not appreciating the other person, as well. With my new marriage I vowed to not let that happen. It takes effort but the rewards are great. It doesn't always come naturally, and we all need validation in different ways. Through Divine grace, my husband was introduced by a (male) co-worker to the book "Love Languages". I cannot recommend this book enough. We have come to realize that there are 5 languages through which everyone finds their validation and sense of being appreciated. My husband's is Acts of Service. When I do the laundry and help out with chores, he feels loved. This is crazy to me...to me they are simply chores that everyone hates. To him they are signs that I care enough to give him a clean home...and he thanks me for it. He appreciates me for doing what I consider meaningly tasks you just have to do. Me, my main language is Acts of Time. I feel loved and appreciated when he makes the time to be with me. Whether its watching a movie or taking a walk, I feel the time he takes out of his day for me matter. And I thank him for it.

We are all taught The Golden Rule as children, yet often fail at it as adults. We need to recognize the little things the people in our lives do have value, and regularly thank them for doing them.

The Past

An old friend who, for lack of better description, elected to remove himself from my life a couple of years ago, has been haunting my dreams.

I'd like to blame it on crazy pregnancy hormones, but the truth of the matter is, I think its something more. Last night we were mutually performing a renaissance event at some estate in which he played Sir Philip Sidney (a character he has never portrayed let me state) and I alternated between being a noble and a servant. In the scenario his (Philip's) family were plotting to kill him, and I (as the servant character) had to warn him because he had been a secret lover of mine. (In real life, said ex-friend is gay, though we used to perform together at renaissance faires...where he played straight characters.) Anyway, after the event we had a chance to sit down and talk and catch up on things. His boyfriend and another female roommate ex-friend (who apparently hate me too) were there as well, though peripherally.

I realize I'm still having lingering needs to make amends in this relationship, but the truth is, he has refused to communicate with me for 2 years now. I don't believe that will change. Other mutual friends have brought my name up in conversations with him, but no one (from what I've been told) have ever brought the situation up to find out the whys behind it all. I guess I'll just go on wondering exactly what ended our friendship, hoping his life is a great one, and having him haunt my dreams.

I'm curious if anyone else has had similar things happen in their life?

13 Crazy Things about Me

13 Crazy Things about Me...Kimba

1. I hate socks in the summer.

(I blame it on growing up on a lake. With or without shoes, I simply can't abide by them.)

2. I love chocolate.

(Ok, maybe that isn't crazy, but seriously, I'll forgo most things just for a piece of good chocolate. Preferably an English Yorkie bar or Austrian Mozart)

3. I hate American swill..er...beers. I love British beers.

(Granted, now that I'm preggo I can't have any.)

4. I loathe, detest, passionately hate American football & baseball.

(The great American pasttimes, my butt! Give me hockey or cricket anyday!)

5. I hate being short.

(At 5', clothes never fit right...and I'm married to a 6'3" giant.)

6. I adore Halloween.

(My favourite day of the year! How can you not like a day that give you permission to dress in costume and people give you candy?!)

7. I hate cutesy holiday decorations.

(Halloween should be spooky. Christmas should be lovely or spiritual. Not cute.)

8. I have to have icy cold milk in the morning.

(Other people must start their day with coffee, I need milk. 1% preferred.)

9. Coke good. Pepsi bad.

(Need I really say more?)

10. I am Project Runway addict.

(Ever since the first season. Come Wednesday night the world stops

for an hour while hubby & I both watch, comment, and judge.)

11. I'm a theatre snob.

(We are trying to decide which season tickets to buy this year,

and I realized just how critical I am.)

12. I love reading blogs.

(I've grown to love reading about the lives of complete strangers...and friends.)

13. Sex makes me laugh.

(Perhaps I didn't need to share this,

but I can't tell you how often my husband and I end up cracking up.)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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12 weeks and growing

I had my ultrasound yesterday! The baby is right on schedule sizewise, the heartbeat sounded great & strong, and so far so good! (Yes, huge relief!) Hubby & I were very excited. When the tech went to take the picture, baby turned directly toward the camera and gave a thumbs up! Way to go kid! (Of course in an ultrasound he/she looks more like an alien than a human, but we're hopeful.)

The only downside, at least in my husband's eyes, is the doctor's announcement that since I had once C-section, I'll be having another, so plan for a late February baby. I'm a little suprised at that clear cut decision, without the consideration of a VBAC, and hubby is very upset about it. However, I know I came through the first C-section so easily I'm a little relieved to know I won't have to experience labor pains. Still, is this a little bit of a rash decision on the doctors part? Opinions?

My Kidlet

Well the kidlet is back home and I can't express well enough how glad I am to have her here. The summer apart was good for both of us. We both appreciate each other more right now. And she's learned a few things as well. She a little more mature. A little wiser. She has learned that I do need her, and that means helping out around the house. This used to be a fighting issue, but now she does it without complaint. She takes pride is her weight loss, her cool new clothes, and the personal rewards of taking care of her things. I don't know if it will last, I certainly hope so. But for now, it puts a big smile on my face to see her feeling good about herself and her family. She's excited about the new baby (and secretly hoping for a little sis), and seeing her friends again. She starts 7th grade in a few weeks, and my little girl is growing up. And for today, I loving the hugs.

Family Vacation

We've just returned from a few days spent in the greater Detroit area of Michigan, having a brief family vacation that turned out simply to be a great time! After a long & tedious drive Saturday night, we picked up the kidlet from her father's place Sunday morning. It was great to see her after 2 months away! Of course she'd grown (she's now about 2 inches taller than I am...she's 12) but slimmed down alot too. There is no little girl when you look at her anymore, but that's ok because I can see she's also maturing into a lovely young lady, and for that I'm proud.

I was surprised to realize just how close we were to the home I grew up in, so we ventured up there so I could show the place to my hubby & daughter. The couple who live there now were out front working in the yard, and were the most gracious people. Not only did they show us around the property but the interior of the house as well. It was an amazing step into my past, though its always hard to see a place change. (Let's just say the interior is alot more boring than when we lived there. The house had once been featured in "Better Homes & Gardens" during my childhood, and now they've done some dulling down of some of the decor & features.) I think they were just as appreciative of being able to hear about what the house used to be like, and learn about the family who lived there. Then it was off to Frankenmuth for shopping, "World Famous Bavarian chicken dinners", and swimming at the hotel. Good tradition.

Monday was a day of history & fun at Greenfield Village. I'd forgotten how much fun that place is. We rode actual Model T automobiles, wandered through Thomas Edison's workhouses and the Wright Brother's bicycle factory where they figured out how man could fly, amongst other great places. From there we had a cookout at the Abrahams, met up with friends...lots of old friends whom I'd not seen, in some cases, in years. It was such fun! We laughed & talked & laughed well into the early morning, and easily could have kept it up all night.

Tuesday's adventure was to take the child to the Ann Arbor Hands on Museum for a full day of science and play, followed by dinner at a favourite restaurant (Boneyard...the best ribs! yum!) Then we stopped by to visit with yet another friend, Kim P., whom I had not seen in over 6 years. She is literally half the person she used to be (having lost somewhere around 170 lbs!) but just as charming & funny.

We anticipated a quiet day before driving back home on Wednesday, but friends had left a couple of things at the cookout so it was a very welcome opportunity to see them again. Our "quick stop" happily turned into lunch, ice cream, and a stop by a very cool tea shop. Kassi & Caleb & their kids are awesome people, and I'm so proud to call them friends! We talked and laughed for another few hours before sadly saying goodbyes and the long trek back home. I was amazed at how easily we caught up on time & life, and how well my new husband was able to blend into the old gang. It made me oh so happy! And my daughter spent hours entertaining (and being entertained by) their 4 year old, proving to me just what a great big sis she is going to be.

Thanks to all of my friends for a great vacation! For those we didn't get to see, next time I hope! And I pray to God it isn't years this time!

Baby 13

THIRTEEN NAMES WE COULD NAME THE BABY

(I suppose I should state that we've actually already decided on names, which are included in this list. What are your favourites? Can you guess the ones we've chosen?)

Boys first: 1. Simon (I've always had a thing for the lead singer of Duran Duran)

2. Alek

3. We could go with the 100th most popular name from the 1880s - Milton (ok, probably not...though it could be better than the 103rd most popuar - Lester)

4. Adolf (it's a family name)

5. Sebastian (it's German)

6. Raymond (after my father)

Now the Girls: 7. Katrien (again, we like those Germanic names)

8. Emma (the most popular name of 2005. Ok, I'd never actually choose a popular name again!)

9. Amelia (#100 in 1880! #103 of that year? Beulah! ugh!)

10. Saskia (because our last name isn't Polish enough!)

11. Lorelei (so I like the Gilmore Girls)

12. Lizzy (thank you Jane Austen)

or for either: 13. Tad (short for Tadpole, which is what we call the baby right now!)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Fear

I find myself fearful of something, anything going wrong with this pregnancy to the point of complete anxiety over it. Every time I go to the bathroom I fear seeing blood. Everytime I feel a muscle pull, I'm terrified. Even this heat has me worried. I never worried like this with my first pregnancy. But then I was in my 20s and perhaps I just didn't know to worry? It doesn't help that seemingly every program on television is about complicated deliveries, at risk pregnancies, or babies with problems at birth! I feel like there is a conspiracy out there to put pregnant mothers in a constant state of fear. (Of course I also feel our news tries to keep all Americans in a constant state of fear, but that's a whole different topic.) And those that don't are about these SuperMoms...you know, shows like "Yummy Mummy" or worse "Runway Moms"...these women who look fabulous even during 40 hours of intense labour, only to get up and take care of their 3 other toddlers while cooking a gourmet meal in heels. Today's modern television is only fueling the fears that any mother has , let alone those of a late 30s, slightly overweight starting over mom, but damn it can't I have some reassurance please that everything is going to be ok and that I WILL have a healthy, happy baby carried full term?!

Avast Ye Matey...

Sunday we travelled the couple of hours north to Green Bay to tour 16 Tall Ships in the harbor there. Let me tell ya, it was awesome! These ships are either actual or recreations of historical ships, one of my favourite being this one here...the Nina. Yep, one of Christopher Columbus' ships. The cool thing is that is was built by the same family that built the original, in the same method. You have to love history like that. Some of the ships had been used during the War of 1812 or earlier, another was a Russian ship that somewhat resembled a Viking longboat.

It has always been a dream of mine, since I was a little girl, to sail the world. To be a part of that kind of adventure still calls to me, and I found myself oh so envious of the crews on each of these ships. Perhaps someday I can actually make it reality, but in the meantime, I'll just have to dream about the High Seas...and Jack Sparrow.

Help Me! I'm Melting!

I'm melting. I'm convinced of it. Soon I will be a puddle resembling the demise of the Wicked Witch of the West ala the Wizard of Oz.
It's hot. Damn hot. Records were broken today in Wisconsin. Hot.
A 8:27pm it is still 97 degrees...this is after the sun is setting. Ugh.
Tomorrow is supposed to be hotter yet.
Historical tidbit o'the day...beautiful old houses built near the turn of the century do not come equipped with central air.
Send water.

My Selfish 13

13 Thing I Really Want Right Now
1. To go swimming (anywhere, a lake, a pool, a pond… to mysteriously appear in my backyard)
2. A chocolate malt…with extra malt powder
3. To go on a family vacation without having to worry about expenses
4. To have our house painting finished already
5. To have the cash to go buy all the baby things I want…right now!
6. To know the baby is healthy, and if it’s a he or a she
7. Reprise from the heat & humidity
8. New clothes…I’m hating everything I own
9. To have the energy to do something creative (i.e. paint, write, etc.)
10. A giant sundae with lots of hot chocolate & cherries (hold the whipped cream, thanks!)
11. A gardener to add more flowers to my yard.
12. To have someone go buy lots of summer veggies for me, and then make dinner.

13. Sleep.

Books for the Soul

Who are your favourite literary characters?
I'm putting together my annual Halloween party (consider yourself invited) and I've decided that this year's theme is going to be:
COME AS YOUR FAVOURITE LITERARY CHARACTER ... DEAD!
Did Bridget Jones O.D. on diet pills? Was Frodo crushed beneath a careless Ent? Who would you come to my party as? And how would they have died?

(Me? I'll probably be Elizabeth Bennett...but I haven't figured out how she died yet. Ideas?)

Weekend Update

So I've been busy and tired all week, which is why I've been entirely behind in posting. Sorry.

Our trip was delightful...though ungodly hot! I was a good girl though, and didn't push myself, stopping to rest & drinking lots of water & juice.
Saturday we drove across the state, decided the best option for staying somewhat cool was to head across the border into Iowa (desperate measures indeed!) to Spook Cave. It's this cave set into a bluff which you can only tour via boat. It was a little cheesy (you take the original boats from the 1950s...and believe me, nothing else about the place has been updated since then either!) but interesting nonetheless. I don't know, there's just something about taking an "all-American summer roadtrip vacation" that simply requires stopping at cheesy tourist spots along the way! We headed back into WI, did some sightseeing around town, and swimming at the hotel. I was able to share a favourite movie with the hubby "Dream for an Insomniac"too.

Sunday we spent the day at the War of 1812 reenactment, which was very interesting since it is the actual battle site. We ran into some friends we had no idea did that sort of reenactment, so that was a pleasant surprise. Hubby was able to purchase some new Regency breeches, so he was thrilled. We toured Villa Louis, the Victorian mansion on the site, which was beautiful and accurately restored. I always find it funny on a historical tour when someone else asks a question the docent can't answer, but I can. I really am a history geek...sigh. Then we headed out for a couple of hours canoeing on the Mississippi River...great fun! And beautiful too! I haven't done that since college, and was so excited!

Monday we drive down to Galena, IL, one of our favourite places. It's simply a beautiful town, set in a valley with countless old homes built by steamboat captains, Ulysses S. Grant, and others. We stayed at the Steamboat House, the B&B we stayed on our last trip...and it was still worth it. Lots of shopping & sightseeing the next day, as well, before heading back toward home Tuesday afternoon. We opted to take the backroads across the countrysides of southern Wisconsin, and it was a beautiful drive, that allowed us to stop at various historical markers and cheesy americana along the way. (I have to say the Dickeyville Grotto was hilarious, and the priest who built it had waaay too much time on his hands.) All in all, it was a fun, relaxing trip.

Angel Baby

My friends' preemie passed away on Thursday.
Please keep them in your prayers.

Vacation Time!

Tomorrow morning hubby & I leave on our first "official" summer vacation! I'm sooo excited, I can't contain myself! I know most people wouldn't be as giddy as I am, but you have to understand that for the past 14 years I have spent every weekend of every summer wearing 30-50lbs of fabric dressed in Elizabethan garb, performing a one to three renaissance faires. Don't get me wrong, I love doing it, but it means that in all those years I have never taken a summer vacation anywhere. This summer I get to take two! So yeah, I'm excited!

Hubby & I are heading to the western part of Wisconsin to explore the greater Mississippi river region of Prairie du Chien (meadow of dog??), canoeing, sightseeing underground caves, historical buildings, and watching the War of 1812 reenactment. (Yeah, we can't entirely separate from that whole costumes event summer.) Then we'll be heading down to Galena, IL which is a beautiful historical town where we'll stay at one of our favourite B&Bs.

Have a great weekend yourself!

Save a Prayer

I need to ask everyone to please keep a prayer for some friends of mine. He is one of my hubby's oldest friends, and he & is wife have been expecting their first baby. Well, Saturday Houston Brian was born into the world...at only 23 weeks gestation. This means that the little baby is just over 1 lb., will have to remain in the neonatal ICU until is original due date (November sometime). Right now he's stable, but we have no idea what sort of complications are yet to arise. It was an emergency delivery to save both he & the mother. Please keep a prayer for them in your heart...they need it right now.

Manic Monday

Just a quick note today about the weekend & life in general.
"Pirates 2" was hilarious! Some good creep factor happening with amazing effects, and some swordfighting bound to remind you of "Princess Bride" (in a good way, not a rip off way), and well lots of Johnny Depp to look at is always a good thing. Kiera Knightley should always wear a corset (and never do another Jane Austen film, but that's another issue all together). And just a note for all of you who do see it...Davey Jones is played by the same guy who was the old rocker in "Love Actually"...now just picture Davey Jones singing "Love is all around us..." (hahaha!)

The rest of the weekend I worked, slept, have a lovely romantic lunch with the hubby at a place on the lakefront, and spent time with the in-laws. (His mom & sister just returned from Europe, and this is the first we've seen them since the baby news.) It was nice, though I expected a barrage of questions, but didn't get any. Hmm, who knew? They did buy a cute baby toy in Prague though.

Right now I'm livin' for the weekend! (I know, its only Monday.) We're taking our first vacation of the summer...yeah!

Yo Ho Ho Me Mateys!

I got 'em!!! Tickets to see "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" tonight with friends!! soooo excited! I mean...Johnny Depp, need I say more? (Swash, swash, buckle, buckle...Arrrrrrgh!)
And as if that weren't enough high seas adventures, the Bristol Renaissance Faire opens tomorrow...this year's theme...Pirates! They have built an awesome new ship and pirates will be landing on the shores of Bristol for some crazy fun! (I hope that anyone who gets a chance to come out this year will. ) Ok, i'm off to work for a day of Pirating adventures!

Preggo 13

13 Things I'm Quickly (re)learning about Pregnancy

1. Tired, tired, tired. All the time, tired.

2. Potty breaks...waaaay too often

3. Queasy, ick tummy.

4. Crazy messed up psycho dreams.

5. Boobs...ache...alot.

6 No cocktails. No wine. No festive summer drinkies.

7. No rollercoasters. (I love rollercoasters.) (sigh)

8. I no longer have a clue about baby products. (How is it strollers are so different now?)

9. No coca-cola. Coke=caffine. (sob)

10. Baby clothes are just so dang cute.

11. Have I mentioned sheer exhaustion?

12. My husband is the best, even if he is overly protective already.

13. You can milk it for all its worth. (No, not me!)(blink, blink)

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My Bunny

I miss my daughter dreadfully today. I know, I've complained about her preteen arguing, and her stubborness a fair amount of times. But I love her more than anything/anyone on the planet, and while she spends the summer with her father, in another state...I miss her more than words can express. I know I'm going to have another child in 9 months, but she will always be my baby...my Bunny, as I've always called her. This is how I always think of her...my little girl with the long, long hair. My overdramatic, highly intelligent bookworm. Always loving to laugh. And I sit her today realizing just how much she's growing up, turning into a young lady. That in only 4 years she'll be driving. And in only 6 leaving for college. And today, all I want is my little Bunny to sit on my lap, read a book with me, and smother her with kisses. Why didn't anyone tell me the hardest part of motherhood was watching them grow up?

Thanks to the Rest o'the World

Today Americans celebrate the 4th of July...America's Independence Day. I know there are going to be blogs everywhere extoling the virtues of the United States, so I wanted to do something a little bit different. I want to recognize that many of the symbols we associate with our "freedom", actually come via other countries. Or the facts we know may be just a little bit squewed. I'm not trying to incite a riot or upset any patriots...I just want to look at things from a slightly different point of view.

First, let's begin with the day itself. Why do we celebrate today? I think most people will answer "Because its the day the Declaration of Independence was signed!" Wrong! It was the day it was adopted by the 2nd Congress. It was read on the 9th, when it was approved by the 13 colonies, officially created on the 19th, but it didn't actually get signed until August 2nd!

Betsy Ross created the original American flag, right? Wrong! The flag that was created to represent the new country was created before the Revolutionary War by Rebecca Young. It was the flag General Washington raised on New Year's Day 1776. It was also our official flag on July 4, 1776. Now, did Betsy Ross actually make our flag? Well, she was a flagmaker, and made flags for almost 50 years, which is where her notoriety comes from. The "Stars & Stripes" flag (originally with 13 stripes & 13 stars) however, was created by Mary Pickersgill in 1813. It was the flag that was flying over Fort McHenry during the War of 1812 that was seen "by the dawn's early light" by Francis Scott Key.

Speaking of Mr. Key, the author of our American anthem, "The Star Spangled Banner", he was witness to the 25 hour retaliation attack of the British against the Americans at the fort during the War of 1812. Indeed, the in morning when the British ceased fire, the flag was still flying. He felt inspired and wrote the poem "The Battle of Fort McHenry". It was soon published in many places, and someone came up with the idea to sing it. However, the music ironically, is a popular English drinking song "To Anacreon in Heaven". It wasn't officially made our national anthem until 1931.

That same night's non-stop cannon & gunfire by the Brits is also the reason we celebrate with fireworks.

And let's not forgot that the quintessential figure of freedom, the Statue of Liberty, was a gift from the French in October 1886.

So today let's not be so ego-centric as to believe that we wouldn't have our freedoms of liberty, or the symbols of that, without the rest of the world.

The 13th Guest

13 People I'd Invite to Dinner (dead, obviously)

1. Andy Warhol…the king of Pop Art. I’d invite him because he’s be fascinated with everyone else at the dinner table.

2. Mary Queen of Scots…because she was a fascinating victim of circumstance and I’d love to ask her about things from her point of view.

3. William Shakespeare…because I want to know if he really did write all those sonnets & plays or if it really was someone else?

4. Jane Austen…because I’d be interested to hear her opinions about her modern fame. And she was a fan of Mary, QofS.

5. St. Joseph…I was going to say Jesus Christ, but would anyone else at the dinner table really be able to focus on anyone but Him? So I think it would be better to have His stepdad.

6. Lord Byron…because he’d shake things up a bit.

7. My friend Boyd…because I miss him and he’d have a blast.

8. Adolf Hitler…come on, who wouldn’t like to either find out what he was thinking or give him a piece of their mind?

9. Beau Brummell…he’d set the standard of fashion.

10. Jane Fitzalan, Baroness Lumley…because I want to know if I actually portray her accurately at RenFaire, and she was brilliant.

11. Wofgang Amadeus Mozart…he was a genius and a flirt.

12. Dorothy Parker…because someone has to add some humour to the group.

13. Some random person from the Elizabethan age…to get things from their perspective.


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Sunday Comics

I feel like I should write about something today, though I don't really know what to write about. I suppose I should share with you the news at hubby went to the doctor today to address the issue of our state of infertility, and despite future tests, the doctor's advice? "Stop thinking about it & trying so hard, just have fun!" Ugh. Are you kidding me?

So yesterday we went to the Milwaukee Art Museum's current exhibit "Masters of American Comics". Like most people I enjoy my Sunday Morning comics most of all. I can appreciate not only the humour, but the talent that it is. That said, I hated the exhibit! It was interesting to note that there have been colour comics on the newspapers since at least 1906 (who knew?) but the exhibit, on a whole, left me feeling depressed and bitter. Why? Because it really focused the just how policial comics have always been, and being a timeline presentation I could see the downward spiral of society. The early comics focused alot on fantasy and imagination. By the 40s they were filled with Nazis and anger. The 50s had a reprise with the Peanuts and all the simplicity that is CharlieBrown. But by the mid 60s & 70s, comics were literally laden with drugs, sex & hatred of family. You don't even want to know about the ones representing the current day! I don't know, maybe my idea of "Masters" is different than those of the exhibit curators, but give me the beautiful simplicity of a family oriented comic any day.
(Ok, so I hate clowns! That's what makes ths comic so funny!)

Summer 13

13 Things I'm going to do this Summer

1. Complete all of the books on my summer reading list

2. Support my public library through my reading

3. Take a getaway with just my hubby

4. Take a true family vacation

5. Perform a few days at theBristol Renaissance Faire

6. Work hard at my new job...and coordinate Lots of weddings

7. Go canoeing on the Mississippi again (it's been years!)

8. Learn to scrapbook the endless amounts of photos I have

9. Help finish painting our house

10. Spend quality "downtime" with friends

11. Visit places I've never been to in the state I now reside

12. Work some more on that whole "having a baby" thing

13. Make new friends!

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Just call me Lady K

No time to write, so this instead!

You Are 92% Lady

No doubt about it, you are a lady with impeccable etiquette You know how to put others at ease, even if their manners aren't the greatest.

Are You A Lady?

Domesticated Bliss

Ok, I've never exactly been what you'd call a "domestic goddess" by any stretch of the imagination. And yet recently I've planted many flowers & plants (including a large lilac bush...my favourite), put in a vegetable garden in my backyard (tomatoes, pumpkins, peppers, basil, onions, carrots, grapes, raspberries, etc.) and now today I made strawberry freezer jam for the first time ever!
Ok, I know this is dull and boring compared with my once-upon-a-time life I used to live when the most important fruit in my diet was the cherries in my Cosmopolitan, but I find myself somewhat proud of this little domestic accomplishment.

Spoiled for Summer

I was a very lucky kid...I grew up living on a lake. Pretty much every waking moment of summer was spent swimming or boating with friends. I grew up never having a fear of the water, and yet profound respect for it. I understood the power of it, that it isn't our element...and yet it was my friend. I still am drawn to the water; the rhythmic tempo of the waves, the breeze upon my face, and the yearn to be one with it. I could spend hours simply sitting on the shoreline, being invited to share the beauty.

Now, as the sounds of kids laughing & playing outside drift on the winds as only summer vacation can bring, I am all too aware of the sheer joy of summer that becomes lost as an adult. Our days are still rife with responsibilities, worries, and work. If only we were able to appreciate & embrace summer the way we did as children, perhaps, just perhaps, people would be more peaceful? Imagine conflicts being settled with simple games of Red Rover or Hopscotch...ah, to be a kid again. Meet you at the beach in an hour??

Summer Music 13

13 of my favourite songs for Summer

1. Save a Prayer - Duran Duran

2. Fins - Jimmy Buffett

3. Love of my Life - Clay Aiken (my wedding song)

4. (Don't) Steal My sunshine - Len

5. Opportunity - Pet Shop Boys

6. Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves - Cher

7. Scarborough Faire - Simon & Garfunkel

8. Oh L'Amour - Erasure

9. People are People - Depeche Mode

10. Let's Fall in Love - Cole Porter

11. Pure - the Lightening Seeds

12. Bizzare Love Triangle - New Order

13. Head Like a HOle - Nine Inch Nails

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"I don't have time to read"

I love to read. I've always been a voracious reader. From the time I was a kid, I'm always reading something...from cereal boxes (I loathe & don't eat ceral by the way) to epic novels...I simply find great joy in books. Books are my friends. In fact, I'm completely anal about taking care of them. I once loaned a close friend a book (always makes me nervous) and he had the nerve to return it with the cover off, and the binding broken! I was furious, and refused to accept it. He was forced to buy me a new copy, and I don't think that's unreasonable!

Anyway, we all get so busy with work, kids, life, that sometimes its hard to find time to read as much as we'd like. Or we'd like to read something other than our current find, or want something new, but we just don't know what. So, I found a couple of great online resources, I'd like to share!

Read It First c/o of St. Martin's Press offers a free membership to join and each day they send you another chapter from a soon-t0-be released book, that doesn't take any more than 5 minutes to read! It's great for that small break!

Dear Reader offers the same sort of thing, they will send you another chapter in your email each day, but you actually get to choose which bookclubs you want to join. From mysteries to romance to classics. (I'm rereading "Little Women" c/o the Classics book club this week.)

I hope someone else enjoys reading as much as I do, and will benefit from these few minutes of literary enlightenment!

Nuts!

So, my weekend didn't go as planned. The shower was nice enough (sunny, but very cold)though very few people came, which was disappointing. I don't understand how people can either just not RSVP or when they do, not show up. I am continually amazed at the rudeness of people. I didn't get to Pug Fest, unfortunately, though we did get alot of cool stuff at the Wilton sale. My daughter leaves for her father's house, out of state, for the entire summer in a couple of days, so while I have a few days off work, I've been trying to spend as much time with her as possible. We had her hairs cut (very cute short bob), have had lunches out together, saw "Over the Hedge" (hilarious movie, completely recommend it to anyone no matter if you have kids or not, no matter what their age if you do!), went to the Jelly Belly factory tour (it's only about 15 min. from our house, and we'd never gone...it was cheesy, but fun...and FREE Jelly Bellys to boot!) I'm going to miss her all summer, but I think it will be good for both of us.

On our way back from the cinema we rescued a pug! A little black pug was dodging cars on a busy street, so I pulled over, grabbed him, and we called the number on his collar...only to get a message that number was disconnected! We were so upset worrying about the little squishyface guy (named Teddy). We started to walk to some of the surrounding houses, when I hear someone calling his name. We walk the pug toward the voice, and this nasty woman (I hate to say it, but the epitome of white trash) comes gulumping across the street looking all angry with me. I tell her the pug was in the middle of the busy street, so I wanted to make sure he wasn't hit. What does she do? Glare at me and says, "yeah he's always running away from me". So then I say, "Well, I called the number on his collar but its disconnected. Maybe you should update that" as friendly as I possibly could. She grabs the dog from me and gulumps again back across the road with Teddy. My daugher & I just stood there dumbshocked for a moment. Are you kidding me? No thank you, no nothing?! Here we stood, both of us wanting a pug of our own, and this woman had zero appreciation for her pet! Oh, we got back in the car and were so upset! I'd say, how can people treat pets with such distain, but look how she treated the people who just saved her dog from being run down! UGH! I seriously HATE stupid people!

Nuts.

Fear Me

Ok, so I came across this today...and I have to say, the results were amazing:

Behold the Power of Kimba

Indeed.

Weekend Madness

Saturday I will work with 2 weddings at my new job, plus host a bridal shower...all of them outside. Please say a prayer for no rain! The shower is for my friend, Jo, and it's a Garden Party theme. Gerbera Daisies & big hats!

Sunday we're heading down Chicago way to go to the Wilton Tent Sale...everything for cake decorating at a huge discount! Looking forward to that, since we started Course 3 last night. I are going to learn all about fondant, so I'll be able to make some Amazing cakes! Then, we'll go to...PugFest! I know, isn't that hilarious?! Nothing but pugs! No, I don't own one, though I would. But they totally crap me up! I'm certain I'll be laughing the whole time. Then dinner w/the in-laws. His mum is heading to Eastern Europe next week to "pick up" his sis in Poland, then they'll tour around for 3 weeks. Good way to start summer vacation, eh?

Yesterday the daughter had a tooth pulled. The dentist was amazing, and it was done before she even knew they'd given her a shot & yanked it out. I realized just how strong & non-quesy you really have to be for your kids. And that distraction is a good thing! She had a tooth that wasn't growing in correctly, as it didn't have enough space, so by removing one, it will move down into that gap & fill it in. Cool, eh? Amazing how the body can heal itself.

Hubby goes in to be tested for his fertility today, and then I have tests Monday. Hopefully that will give us some answers and a "plan of attack". I've now decided to approach getting pregnant like a battle. "Troops attack!" (tee hee)

Broadway 13

13 Songs from 13 Musicals
I love musical theatre, and have been fortunately enough to have been performing most of my life. Most of my friends are performers, in some capacity or another. And nothing can express your mood better than a tune from a Broadway show! Here are some of my favourites (no, they aren’t always the most popular ones...and they are listed oldest to newest). Wouldn't it be great if people would break into song in the middle of the work day? Imagine a whole office or grocery store singing & dancing!)

1. Consider Yourself from Oliver!
2. You Gotta Get a Gimmick from Gypsy
3. Wouldn’t It Be Loverly? from My Fair Lady
4. Lonely Goatherd from The Sound of Music
5. This Plum is too Ripe from The Fantasticks
6. Better to Live & Die (Pirate King) from Pirates of Penzance
7. Turn Back O Man from Godspell
8. Another Suitcase, Another Hall from Evita
9. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables from Les Miserables
10. Tomorrow Belongs to Me from Cabaret
11. When You’re Good to Mama from Chicago
12. You Can’t Stop the Beat from Hairspray
13. Defying Gravity from Wicked

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Step Outside of the Circle

Today was kidlet's last day o'school, and I realized while she is moving on toward the teenage years, there is much of her that is, proudly, still a little girl. Her enthusiasm over yearbook signings (really the first year for that), awards ceremonies, and their fieldtrip to the zoo, all remind me that despite the frustration we share with one another these days, there is still an innocence in her eyes that I don't ever want to go away.

I look toward the future too with some hope as the doctor gave me an A-OK on the checkup, then promptly ordered blood tests and ultrasound tests, and tests for the hubby all with the proactive approach of "Let's make this happen"! So, hopefully a baby will be in the not so distant future, even if we need help.

But looking forward means I also have to recognize where I've come from. In 6 years I've come from unexpectedly divorced and practically destitute (I'll never be able to thank the Gilbert and Rife clans for their generousity & kindness) to happily married in a nice house, working a job I'm really liking, and feeling peace. But I've come from even more. Kassi shared a brilliant bit of writing recently that inspired me to creatively recognize my past. You write your own c/o this template.

I am from a snapping turtle filled lake so private motorboats were not allowed. I am from miles of biking trails through Autumn's splendor. I am from demembered Barbies tossed gleefully into the water to dive for. I am from baklava, Baskin-Robbins, and 5-star restaurants.

I am from the Better Homes & Garden's photo feature spotlessly tidy and invitingly warm. I am from the white 4-poster bed with Holly Hobbie sheets and antique ballerinas on the wall. I am from rooms too pristine to be allowed to walk into.

I am from the tall trees, seaweed, ferns and slash of Geranium red.

I am from Sunday brunch buffets and talking to strangers, from Raymond's confidence, Barbara's kindess and cattiness, and NanaDoll, whom I never knew but from whom I share a passion for stylish hats & gloves.

I am from forgotten birthdays and friendly teasing.

From being the "Chosen Baby" and more like my parents than their biological children.

I am from traditional but loving Catholic faith with priests who were family friends and taught it was alright to question.

I'm from Flint not knowing my personal ethnicity so feeling free to embrace them all; from kibbe and mom's stuffing and saurkraut.

I am from dad lying about his age to join the Navy in WWII to sail to all the countries the Pacific touches. From mom taking 2 Chicago trains & buses daily to be a professional figure skater at the age of 13, and a great-grandfather who was rich in the 1930s and helped to "take down" Al Capone, who had a rival Speakeasy.

I am from albums without descriptions needing to be organized and have their story told.

In Working Order

Today I go to the OB/GYN for an exam, specifically to check that everything is in working order "down there". We've been trying for 6 months now to get pregnant, to no avail. Truth be told, I'm a little bit nervous. Fearful they will tell me "Nope, too late, you can't have any more kids" or something equally disappointing. I know I've written about this before...but it there each & every month...and I've never been known for my patience. This so-called natural act should just happen, right? I mean, come one already! I've had more sex lately than a hooker at a convention. I read yesterday that the average male "release" contains upwards of 35 MILLION sperm! You'd think just ONE of those buggers would find their target. (giggle...now I'm imagining all these lost sperm refusing to ask for directions!) I'll let ya know how it goes.

Pests

Today I've been bothered by pests all day. Let me start by saying my day began at the DMV...need I say more? After 1 1/2 hours of waiting, I was finally called, only to be told they couldn't do what I needed done. (Insert explative #1 here.)

Then it's off to the grocery to pick up a couple of things...of course they don't have what I'm looking for. Finally I make my way back home, put some laundry in...and my washer decides it stop mid-cycle, leaving clothes soaking wet & the machine 1/2 full. (Explative #2 goes here.) Another hour spent figuring out the problem while the phone begins to ring upstairs. Not wanting to go run to get it, I let it ring...for the next hour!

Ok, so I sold this guy my car and somehow in my move I can't seem to find the title. (The reason I was at the DMV to begin with today.) I told him I'd call him sometime today AFTER I had gotten a replacement. He called the house 40 times...in a row!!!! It became a game to me because, quite simply, I REFUSED to answer it at that point. (Feel free to insert explatives 3-40 at this time.) So I call him back finally & tell him "We have a problem". He had the nerve to get angry with ME when I told him not to call my house so much! Hello, when someone doesn't answer, maybe there is a reason?!? I explained that apparently there was a glitch when I moved from Michigan to Wisconsin, meaning I now have to contact the Michigan DMV and for him to give me a couple of days to try to clear up the confusion.

I go about my business, doing laundry, cleaning the house, etc...the oh-so-much-fun for a day off...when there's a knock at my door. His father & girlfriend are standing there asking me what's up with the title? Are you kidding me? I tell them exactly what I told the buyer guy, when they tell me they had gone to the DMV themselves & asked for information on the title of my car...and the DMV not only gave them the information but physically showed them the screen (you know, the screen that has all your information like social security numbers, etc. on it!!!) Now I don't know what to do, scream at them or file a lawsuit against the Wisconsin Dept. of Transportation for invasion of privacy?!? (Yeah, about 100 more explatives wouldn't even begin to cover it at this point!) I'm livid...what the hell???

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

My family are at church right now. I didn't go today. I couldn't. I would have been going for all the wrong reasons. I feel angry today. With God. I feel angry that my father is gone. I feel angry that my mother can no longer live life, but instead exist in a nursing home, unable to walk or barely feed herself. She was a vibrant woman, a professional figure skater once upon a time, always on the go, always full of life. Now she is forced by Multiple Sclerosis to sit in a bed or wheelchair day in & day out, no even capable of pushing it. I feel angry that my daughter hates me most days, and despite much of it being pre-teen hormones, I can't help but think there is so much more to it than that. And I want a good relationship with her again, and I feel like I don't know what more to do. I feel angry that after months and months of trying, I'm still not pregnant.

So rather than going to church today, I drove down to the lakefront, and sat on the rocks, and talked to God. And questioned God. And questioned if there even is a God. And I received no answers. At least not yet. I suppose there is a fragment of hope that God will give me something to take away some of this anger deep inside of me...but the skeptic in me has to wonder. I can't help but wonder if all my prayers to God to bring romantic love into my life came only at a cost?

La La La La...L!

TLC over at "Send Chocolate" (gotta love that name!) tagged me to play, and since I love games, I had to! The plan is I have to come up with 10 words that represent me in some way that begin with the letter L. (If you'd like to come out and play too, leave me a comment, and I'll get back to you with your own letter!) (I'll be adding photos to go with the words later)
LILACS...my favourite flower! I love the delicacy of the bloom, the rich colour, and the fragrance. Nothing is more calming to me than the smell of lilacs! (It saddens me every year they only bloom such a short time.)
LITERATURE...I love to read! I'm always reading something, and a good book that will suck me in & make me feel that I know the characters is the best! I like many genres of literature...historical fiction probably being what I read most often. Some of my favourite authors are Anne Rice, Jane Austen, Lord Byron, Alexander McCall Smith and Linda Berdoll, to name a few.
LEGOS...possibly the greatest toy ever invented. Simple design, bright colours, the quintessential imagination builder. While I like some of the sets (like the Harry Potter ones, for example), nothing is better than the basic set that forces you to use your creativity.
LAUGHTER...especially my daughter's. What's better than being able to laugh?
LIPSTICK...no matter what, I will almost never go out without lipstick of some sort on. The absolute best red, that is actually red no matter who wears it, is L'Oreal British Redcoat.
LEAVES...I love the fall colours. It is my favourite season. The bright crisp colours make me much happier than green.
LONDON...my favourite city. I lived there for a couple of years, and visit whenever I can (which isn't often enough). I love the markets (Petticoat is my fave), the culture, the shops, history. It's just a great place.
LUMLEY...at the Bristol Renaissnace Faire I portray Jane Fitzalan, Baroness Lumley. She was an amazing woman during the 16th century who was fluent in 9 languages, wrote books that are still studied today, was a staunch Catholic in the Protestant country who stood strong for her faith, and was powerful despite being a woman.
LADY...I firmly believe there is a difference between being a woman and being a lady. (Likewise being a man or being a gentleman.) It takes effort to act with decorum, manners, and etiquette. I, unfortunately, believe most people in this world are not ladies.
LOVE...what can possibly be said about Love, other than it makes life worth living.

Thirteen Treats I'm Hungry For Right Now

(I haven't had breakfast or lunch...as you can tell)

1. Real Lemonade (you know, the good fresh squeezed kind!)

2. Saurbraten Goulash (mmmm...German food!)

3. Raisin & Biscuit Yorkie Bar (my favourite candy bar in the world...from England)

4. A Cherry Slurpee (yes, from 7-11...there are no 7-11s in Wisconsin...how evil is that?)

5. No Bake Cookies (haven't had them in years!)

6. Warm gooey chocolate brownies (mmmm...chocolate)

7. Coke with lemon (Coke good, Pepsi bad)

8. BBQ ribs (gooey with sauce)

9. Shrimp Scampi (garlicy goodness)

10. Thai food (spicey yum)

11. a Cosmopolitan (made w/Absolut Mandarin...my drink o'choice)

12. Mandarin Chicken Salad (yes, something healthy now & again)

13. Ice cream...with chocolate (of course)

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